ok so look – I know I said the next blog was going to be about the value trifecta but I changed my mind. :) If I waited until that blog was ready – I wouldn’t blog for a LONG time. And then I just read Vanessa’s blog about Dog Soup, and yes it was made with REAL DOGS siiiiiick (but for realz – go read it!!! I laughed OUT LOUD) and I remembered that I once said I would NEVER eat cow tongue – NEVER EVER EVER!!!!
But then HE happened:
And I DID eat it because you see that guy above? I fell in love with him. And he lived in Honduras for a few years and he said, “Trust me – it’s good.” So I did.
And I liked it.
siiiiiick
But I really did like it – which is still siiiiiick but when cooked correctly – very succulent! ;) But ANYWAY life is unpredictable and you never know when you might change your perspective – so…. what I really want to talk about today is CHANGE. :)
Reframing – a necessary tool
Reframing has been one of, if not THE biggest factor in my ability to accept, change and move forward. It allows you (or me! YAY!) to change your ENTIRE pattern of thinking without feeling like a poser ;) It lets you save face – *YAY* – and it lets you stay true to your values even while changing your mind on big issues. And the best part!!! If you are logical and keep an open heart and mind, reframing can create change or at least cause ripples immediately.
p.s. I MAY have thrown in a few confessions here and there to keep this post spicy. ;) So back to blogging …
WHAT IS REFRAMING?
- Wikipedia “…reframing a situation or context, thus sees a situation in another frame. A frame can refer to a belief, what limits our view of the world. If we let this limiting belief go, new conceptions and interpretation possibilities can develop...”
- Changingminds.org “..A frame, or ‘frame of reference’ is a complex schema of unquestioned beliefs, values and so on that we use when inferring meaning. If any part of that frame is changed (hence ‘reframing’), then the meaning that is inferred may change.”
- NLP Reframing “…Changing the frame of an experience can have a major influence on how you perceive, interpret and react to that experience.”
- On a simpler note – reframing can be as simple as understanding that “truth” with a lower case t, CAN have more than one side. And just because you experience or perceive ONE truth – it doesn’t mean there can’t be an equally compelling truth if you look at the situation from another direction.
Btw – Chloe – my dog who is a bumbly bear – hurt her leg and was limping a lot. So I took her into the vet.
She’s now on drugs.
BENEFITS OF REFRAMING:
- Allows acceptance
- Allows forgiveness
- Creates a new reality
- Has life-changing potential
- And I think Chloe is now a drug addict. :-|
EXAMPLE
The other night she kept looking at me with her happy smile.
Pant, pant, pant, puppy eyes, smile, pant pant pant. I couldn’t figure out what she wanted!! I said, “Show me” and she lead me into the kitchen…. uh oh – the kitchen? This had trouble written ALL over it.
I went to the treat jar – no no – she didn’t want that. SHE – piggy of all piggies!!! – WALKED AWAY FROM THE TREAT JAR!! So I asked if she wanted to go outside – she took two MORE steps back and sat down with stubborn determination. She was NOT going to go outside.
Pant pant pant. More puppy eyes. SMILE!!! WAG WAG!
“Chloe bear – WHAT do you want?”
WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG – she went back to where the treat jar was - and that’s when I noticed. Her pain pills were sitting RIGHT next to the treat jar. *oh boy* My dog wanted drugs. My dog is a drug addict. ***SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS!!!*** Well – ok – maybe it’s only *mostly shocking* she is a little chubby wubby lazy bear – it doesn’t surprise me TOO much that she likes a lil something something extra to help her stay EXTRA lazy. ;)
OK!!!! BACK TO REFRAMING!!! Though you will find that I tie my confessional of Chloe back into reframing in a bit but for now – If you want a great life changing personal example of how a bloggy friend/reader helped ME reframe – I’d recommend reading the following posts – I went from feeling like an utter failure with every reason (in my mind) to logically believe so – to just days later understanding that there was another side and that I may have been too hard on myself. ALL FROM THE HELP OF ONE COMMENT!!!! Sure I still feel like a failure on many levels – just not the same ones. :)
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
This quote … depresses me because it screams at me, “YOU ARE A FAILURE!” A complete and pathetic failure with no backbone and no sense of identity. (Read more if you want)
I remember, at the age of 25, when I went to see a psychiatrist.
“What can I help you with Daisy?”
“I don’t know who I am, what I want from life, or what I like.”
He looked at me with surprise. He and I had met before. …. He had always believed I was very self-assured, confident and independent. How could I not know myself? (Read more about my search for identity AND find suggestions to help you find out more about your OWN self :) YAY! )
“This sort of relates more to your last post, but I think maybe you’re failing to recognize that the fact that you didn’t just allow everyone who was trying to make you conform means that you actually WERE “finding yourself” all of…” (read the rest) and Thanks again Phoebe!!!
…Is it possible that I’m not such a failure after all?…although I may not have known my mind completely – I was learning what I didn’t like. :) I did play along with “THEM” and played the part – but I suppose I never really conformed did I?… Maybe I need to have a little more faith in myself. :) I never conformed in my heart. Never. And looking at the circumstances I pushed through – I feel safe to say I never will.
And back to Chloe, the drug addict.
MAYBE – just maybe – she’s NOT a drug addict. MAYBE – just maybe – she likes the cream cheese I wrap her pills in. AAANNNDDDD Maybe – just maybe ;) I might have discovered, after testing, she is equally happy with a tiny dab of cream cheese as she is with a pain pill wrapped in cream cheese.
So in conclusion. :) Reframing – keeping an open mind – looking for another side or being willing to hear another side – continually giving the “benefit of the doubt” and actively searching for ways to confirm this benefit of the doubt you gave - INCLUDING GIVING THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT TO YOURSELF (and Chloe) – this may not seem like much. But I promise you:
Reframing has the power to permenantly change a frown upside down and to help you accept (yourself or others), forgive (yourself or others), move forward, and provide new realities that might unlock a newer, happier you.
Please feel free to email if you have questions or would like more information. Daisy@australiandaisy.com or watch for upcoming installments on areas of life that might benefit from reframing. And as said before – watch for an upcoming post on Humility! :)
