The Green Tawking Hippo Academy

It’s not like I’ve never been to school before.  it’s just…  Well, when did hippos start wearing polka dot bikinis?

Maybe the name of the school should have given it away. Green Tawking Hippo Academy for Women. But it sounded so cool! For a budding environmentalist, it seemed perfect! What could be better than a school located in the heart of Tawking Canyon , on the banks of the Green River , and named after an endangered species? Can we say “nothing?”

Oh if only it were that simple and if only Hippos knew how to spell. Even though the school WAS in the middle of Tawking Canyon , the school wasn’t named after it. In fact, it wasn’t named after the Green River either. The founders of the school MEANT to name the school Green Talking Hippo Academy after all of the rich, successful Hippos who work there and can talk. But although these hippos have mastered speaking, they have yet to learn to spell. So yeah -  tawking hippos – talking hippos. Talk about a trip!

It wouldn’t really have been so bad to learn from the hippos. They are very unusual peop… umm … they are very unusual mammals. But the hippos weren’t interested in teaching about their ways. Nope. They were more interested in other things; though those other things did APPEAR to be of an environmental nature in the course catalog.

First Period – Blossoming Flowers. “Oh nooooooo, Ms. Nooncy,” the instructing hippo, wearing a burgundy mini skirt and a black tube top, shouted to a fellow classmate. “Grey is the WORST color for you to wear. It blends right into your skin. You must stand out! Be noticed. No wall flowers in my class. We are blossoming flowers! Beautiful! Bold! B… AHH! Ms. Pugmore, a corset is NOT going to help you hold your tummy in – and goodness gracious, why would you want to? We’re hippos – we’re fat – it is our defining feature and we must not try and hide it. Love the skin you’re in Ms. Pugmore. Love it.”

Second Period – Don’t Hunt. The instructor of this class wore the most ridiculous blond wig. It was fantastic! “First things first class.” She said as she paced back and forth in front of the class, “You are all Big, Beautiful, and Bold Hippos.” Long pause. “Now, I want you all to take a deep breath and feel the air cleanse your body, nourishing your beauty. Ok. Down to the important stuff. It is imperative that you, as female Hippos, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT hunt for male hippos. We are NOT rhinoceroses. We are Hippopotamuses and we do not hunt or chase our men like THEY do. Our men chase after us and if they’re LUCKY we may pay them some attention. But as a side note I don’t blame the Rhino men from running away from their women – I mean come on – just look at them! I’d run away from MYSELF if I looked like that.”

Third Period – The Study of Mother Earth. This one HAD to be an environmental class right? A petite hippo, if there is such a thing, stood up in front of the class. “Mother Earth has given us amazing gifts. The gift of water and the gift of earth. If we mix these gifts together we create the gift of beauty. Today we will be learning about mud baths, mud masks and the power we have to be beautiful.”

You know what? Hippos are a little intimidating all on their own. But having to hide behind a rock to avoid being trampled by a herd of hippos racing to the banks of the Green River for a mud bath is down right scary.

Lunch

Fourth Period – Tree Huggers 101 – “And one and two and three and four…” The teacher stopped her squats to welcome the class. “Hello everyone. Go ahead and take your place by a tree stump and rip it out of the ground like this. Ok good. Except you over there – honey I think a tree is too big for you. Why don’t you sit this one out?” No problems there! The rest of the class ripped out their stumps and placed them firmly between their teeth in the proper “hugging” manner. I shook my head and sighed as they did squats, while “hugging” their trees. Apparently it improves balance as well as muscle tone in Hippos. Go figure.

Fifth Period – Meteorology. Everyone raced to the changing rooms after fourth period to change into their bikinis. Hmm … meteorology and bikinis? And then everyone rushed to fifth period – which was being held at the sandy nook along the southern end of the Green River . “Alright class – settle down,” the instructor announced. “Today we learn about how the sun darkens our skin and makes it even MORE beautiful. Find a beach towel, lie down and let the sun soak into your skin. I’ll remind you in a half hour to flip to your other side. I hope everyone remembered to bring their unique bathing suit shapes because you will adore the patterns they leave on your skin later.” Tan lines are adorable? When clothing is optional and you are hippo… seemingly they are.

Not long after everyone had settled in, each covering four beach towels a piece, the principal arrived. After welcoming all the lovely new students she asked “Would the non-hippo please escort me to my office?”

Her office was close by and once she was settled into her snakeskin chair she apologized for a grave misunderstanding. “This is the Green “Tawking” Hippo Academy for Women as you well know, and although you are a woman… you are not a hippo and the school is for talking Hippos only. My sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding.” She went on, “It’s just that dear … when we saw your name – So Hippo – we just knew you had to be one of us. Who else would name their child So Hippo?  hahaha!  Anyway you’re dismissed.”

Walking out the door I muttered back to her, “It’s Sohi … Poe. The name is Sohi … Poe… NOT so hippo.” Not that the correction really mattered. It may as well be So Hippo to a green “tawking” hippopotamus.

Ugh.

Anyway – back to the one sided convo – I’m good at these….

North Sydney got a similar email.  And no – I’m not bitter AT ALL!  nope nope nope – I’m in a FABULOUS mood.  hmphf!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PltMz1gQBJM[/youtube]

CRRAAAZZZYYY!  I’ve seen the world glow before.  A bright moonlit night with snow all around makes for a stunning BRIGHT night.  But glowing red, orange and sometimes blood orange?  Today was a first.  Definitely a wow!

Ok so I’ve come to realize that online communities and our identities within online communities are complicated topics!!!  There’s no way we could really have a full blown conversation about it in only 200 words per pop.  But hey – it’s the effort that counts right?  :)  Thanks to the commentors (scoMan, dave, ebonyJewel and MattyMatt) for commenting!!!  It’s always great to hear others’ insight!!

And for those of you who I have no doubt WANTED to comment deep down in your heart (which is everyone else i.e MOM, TIM, ALEXIS, SCOTT and all of my other bloggy friends) thank you ALSO because life is more fun with family and bloggy friends!!!   :)  )  Oh and it’s not too late to throw in your 2 cents because I’ve decided to write my final paper in a different class on this topic.  :)

Down to bizness.

ONLINE COMMUNITIES – You and Me are a CommuniTY – part #5 – wrap up.

(btw anyone notice that I did part NUMBER 5 or part NUMBER 4? LOL I did it just to be silly.  I am fully aware, thank you, that it SHOULD be part 5 or just #5. hee hee)

I’ve decided that I am fascinated by this topic.  100%.  Our world is becoming more and more digital every day.  We move to online communities more and more every day.  Our selves, our identities, and our culture are all being impacted by this change.  And though I suppose our identities, cultures and selves always change, I think it’s important to recognize the significance of online avatars/identities and how this increase in control over image may affect our core definitions.

I took this opportunity to round up some (only 3 because most of them were dumb) quotes on self image.

1“The ”self-image” is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.” 2“Our self image, strongly held, essentially determines what we become”

Maxwell Maltz quotes (US plastic surgeon, motivational author, and creator of the Psycho-Cybernetics, 1927-2003)

3“If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?”

Chuck Palahniuk quotes (American freelance Journalist, Satirist and Novelist. b.1961)

I suppose one interesting thing about networks and identities is they change with time.  As I meet and become connected with more people, my network grows.  As my connections meet and become connected with more people, my network grows.  As my identity is tried and tested with time, it evolves and takes stronger shape.  I don’t believe we can STOP a network or an identity.  We may take on new layers, new directions and new flavors, but the network around us and our identity (regardless of how many we choose to have) all overlap a bit with each other.  We can’t go backward – only forward.

For my Network Society class I am to have a 5 part series/discussion on something cool (i.e. my choice) as long as it’s academically relevant to my class.  I’m also supposed to make it more formal than a ‘normal’ blog post (who defines normal?) and I would GUESS that means I should use BIG words.  I sure hope that words in capital letters count as BIG!!!  (hee hee)  Thankfully for YOU each of the parts only has to be about 200 words.  That’s like NOTHING!  Sooooo…. (does it count as big if it has eeeexxxxtttrrrraaa letters?) here is my first part – 200 words on online communities.  I hope with my WHOLE HEART you choose to participate (comment.)  :)

Online Communities

Never in my life did I realize how much my identity was tied to my culture and community until I moved out of my community.  Living in the heart of one of the chirpiest cities in the United States, full of people who don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or watch dirty movies, and who wave and smile at everyone who drives into the neighborhood, I was in for a bit of culture shock when I moved to the busy city life of Sydney, Australia.

Who are my neighbors?  Heaven knows I have no clue!  Who was the dude yelling at his alleged crazy girlfriend down the street?  Heaven knows I’m OK that I don’t know!  And umm, excuse me, WHY did you think it was OK to pat my behind while I was walking down the street you crazy stranger?  No, actually – don’t answer that – in fact let’s both forget you exist. (snap!)

Community and culture play a huge role in the way we see and define the world and our surroundings.  It helps us assess meaning and value.  It contributes to our filters and our level of comfort.  And HOW we define our relationship with our community and culture (whether we accept or reject it) contributes to our personal identity.

In a new world full of online communities, how do these digital cultures affect our daily lives?  How much of our identity is wrapped up in digital cultures and online communities?

NEXT POST – I’ll bring in what a few of the “experts” have to say about it – but until then – I’d LOVE to hear what you have to say.  :)  :)  :)

TODAY’s horoscope

You may become less confident as the day wears on, especially if you must show up at a big social event. But if you are able to steal away for a while, then you can emerge from your mini-retreat revitalized and ready to go back out for another round of battles with the status quo. Don’t be afraid of your own power, even if you think it’s wiser to wait for the right time to act.

Annnddd yahoo.com’s said something about taking time for myself and writing a list of “to dos”….

LESS CONFIDENT

I was pretty confident about life this morning but as luck would have it (or more likely as my subconscious would have it because I had already read the above horoscope) I DID lose confidence in myself as the day wore on.  WHAT??  Why would I ever do a thing like that?

Prolly because I realized I’m in some suck classes, the camera adds 10 lbs, I stuttered on TV today and I ran into TWO professors who gave me the pity look because they know about my stupid special consideration and swine flu last semester.

Yeah – that could be why.

Some ME Time

I was kind of excited that my horoscope encouraged a little ME time today but I wasn’t sure how I was going to fit it in – I had a full schedule today!!  After my first class I decided to skip class #2 because it sucks and I’m going to change it for a different one anyway … and I had a choice:

BUS OR WALK??

WALK of course!!  Why?  Because walking is ME time!!  YAY!!!  So I walked from Uni to Central and did some thinking – lots of thinking.  Mostly about the pavement, the cars driving by, the hotties in business suits – but ALSO about Uni, my list of things to do – and ok – that was about all.  Unless you count trying to decide whether or not to text/sms No. Syd and tell him about my day’s adventures as thinking – if you do? well then I thought about that a lot too.

I decided to text him – and got no reply.  And not that I’m getting ready to throw in the towel or anything but seriously – EVERY TIME I DECIDE I LIKE A GUY IT ENDS WITHIN LIKE A WEEK.  So I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if the Love Gods out there put a jinx on this whole thing – aw well.  Time will tell.

No backing out now!!

Even if things don’t work with No. Syd guess what?  I meant what I said about the taking a chance thing – no more negative nancy from me about relationships.  I am ready to put myself on the line – it may take a REALLY LONG time before I find someone that I want to commit to – it may take a REALLY LONG time before I start dating again … but I’m not going to be actively AGAINST it like I was.  In fact! I even replied to Adorable Boy’s (he was the reason I went on the cruise where I met CC+4) email today.  He wants to come visit.  I told him that’d be great.  And you know what will happen if Adorable Boy comes out to visit?  hee hee.  SPARKS WILL FLY!  :)

I HATE TOMORROW’s HOROSCOPE

I just want everyone to know that I already hate tomorrow’s horoscope.  WHY??  Because it is going to require super extra effort on my part to make it come true.  The task??  Find meaning in the mundane things you do.  And after the 2 page long TO DO list I made today of MUNDANE SUCK THINGS TO DO!!! Tomorrow is DEFINITELY going to be a challenge.

But the joy is in the challenge right??  :)

Mmm – I heart those yummy raspberries growing in the backyard

My puppies (who are almost 4 years old) and – ME :)

The air and the breeze and my toes in the trees

It’s not tormenting – it’s smooching noses :) She likes it – no for real.

Matty Matt’s pic for my new FB profile pic. lol.

Rain Train – (and as Aussie Erin says – SO AMERICAN!!)

Grandpa said, “Who did this to you?”

Uncle Scott said, “Is Mommy trying to choke you?”

Grandma laughed and laughed

Grandpa said, “It’s ok Scott. She’s only here for two more weeks. They will only look like cowboys for 2 more weeks.”

Mommy said, “GRRRRR!!!!  They don’t look like cowboys!!!  They’re GIRLY GIRLS!!!”

Mommy said, “And they’re SASHES not bandanas!”

First things first – remember the lamp that sprouted magical legs?  It left a BRUISE ON MY FACE!!!  Not cool.

And SWINE FLU – I think the following blog posts deserve a mention because they made me LOL – but they’re not for you mom because they have swear words in them – ones you wouldn’t like. oxox (that’s my mom’s and my secret “love you SO MUCH” code.)

Swine Flu by Elsja

Iced Tea, A Busy Mind and Not Being A Hypochondriac by Nicole A.

Ok and now I have to tell you a secret.  BECAUSE SECRETS ARE FUN!!!  One time I told this dude that although I love shopping – because I seriously do – I like to think “it’s not the meat and potatoes” of my life.  Yeah I said that.  I said shopping isn’t the meat and potatoes of my life. And then I wrote a blog about how I COULDN’T BELIEVE I SAID THAT.  (and I just re-read that blog and omgosh omgosh omgosh)  WHY OH WHY DID I BLOG ABOUT IT?  Now there’s PROOF.  Who says things like that?  No seriously [shake head in disbelief.]  And I’m mentioning this because I recently learned that my dad is now teaching gardening classes to his peeps in my old neighborhood and he grows potatoes and yeah – you see where I’m going with this?  No?  that’s ok. 

ANYWHO – my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.  Oh yes.  AND my dad is on a quest to grow a 500 lb pumpkin.  A FIVE HUNDRED POUND PUMPKIN!!!  Say whaaaat??  That’s about 227 kg.  Which is a LOT.  And I’m going to tell you a bit about it in doses.  But just one dose at a time.

Dose One of Daisy’s Dad’s 500lb Pumpkin Quest

My dad planted ONE HUNDRED pumpkin seeds.  Some of them were like 5-6 yrs old (don’t ask) others were from a pumpkin he grew two years ago that was GINORMOUS (180 lbs) and the rest?  He says they’re “Dill’s Atlantis Giant.”  Way to go Dill – your seeds sound dirty – you sick-o.

OK so my dad planted the seeds on the 23rd of April and by the 24th – ONE DAY LATER – he wrote this (btw he’s journaling this just for ME and my amusement. )

I hate waiting.  I’ve peeled back the plastic wrap twice today, hoping to see ANYthing.  I saw nothing.

HAHAHA!  It’d only been ONE DAY!  That’s freaking hilarious.  Seriously it is.  AAAANNNNDDD the NEXT DAY on the 25th of April he wrote this:

I hate waiting.  I’ve peeled back the plastic wrap FOUR times today, hoping to see ANYthing.

Right-ee-o – so my dad’s getting a bit obsessive and it’s only day 3.  Then he wrote this:

I even started lightly digging in the dirt looking for any signs of life.  I saw nothing.

Oh no he didn’t.  Did he?  I don’t know.  But that’s what he wrote.  HAHAHAHAHA!   AAAANNNNNDDDD with that we’ll stop there.  I don’t need you thinking my dad’s crazy quite yet.  PLUS that’s a pretty big dose for today.  It’s been three days and he’s already obsessed.   HAHA just teasing Dad.  kind of. 

OHMYGOSH – What am I listening to this evening?  Some tight flow! But I put it after the break because most of you probably don’t share my refined taste in music.  hee hee.  Oh and I don’t usually like mash-ups but the one at the bottom is SO SWEET.  Good night!! xoxo~Daisy

Ricochet (TADT Remix) – Shiny Toy Guns

Circus (Diplo Remix) – Britney Spears OMGOSH LUV THIS!

Touch Me – Flo Rida Sent this to MIUB

Gifted feat Kanye West, Santogold, Lykke Li – N.A.S.A.

Boom Boom Pow (Mr Gaspar Remix) – Black Eyed Peas

also Boom Boom Pow (Chew Fu Ghetto House Fix) – Black Eyed Peas I’m so 3008, you’re so 2000 and late – that’s a RT @lmchugh lol.

WTF (Smoke & Mirrors Remix) – Tittsworth WTF?

Little Bit (Villians Remix) – Lykke Li Just a little bit in love with you and only for a little bit

Ghost Town – Shiny Toy Guns

Major Tom – Shiny Toy Guns

I’m Bossy (Switch Remix) – Kelis

Dracula’s Wedding – Andre 3000 I wait my whole life to bite the right one – I’m terrified of you

Milkshake (Man Eat DJ & Jixm remix) – Kelis

Black Beatles – Loo & Placido (mash-up black-eyed peas, beetles, ludacris & kelis)

Well one night when the owner of said bed was tossing and turning because she couldn’t sleep, it came alive.  Oh yes.  ALIVE.  You see, normal, non-alive lamps don’t move.  But ALIVE lamps sprout magical legs and terrible senses of humor.  (No really you should hear the jokes they tell – not funny!)

At about 4:45am when all was quiet in the world and the bats and birds outside the lamp’s window hadn’t started SQUAWKING OUT OF CONTROL YET the lamp thought it would be funny to play a prank on the owner of the bed.  And yes I said bats.  They sound like cats fighting to the death – oh the joy.

Anywho – The lamp loved JUMPING into the flannel sheets because they’re PRETTY and the cherry blossoms really accentuate the magenta craptastic plastic – but because the owner was scared someone would notice her magical lamp had legs and take it away and dissect it like they did the ginormous squid in Wellington, NZ at the Te Papas Museum (poor ginormous squid)  –  the lamp agreed it would ONLY nose dive onto the bed when the owner of said bed was her ungraceful self and bumped the bed thereby making it APPEAR as if it were the owner’s fault the lamp “fell.”  Though YOU AND I know it didn’t fall, it JUMPED. 

Ok so that was a the-longest-sentence-EVAH and now let’s get back on track.  4:45am – quiet.  Owner of bed is sleeping.

Oopsie! The lamp – who WILL be donated for scientific research and subsequent dissection if it ever pulls this prank again – JUMPED from its resting place and LANDED ON MY FACE.  I mean – oops – the OWNER OF SAID BED’S FACE.  Not head – FACE.  Eyebrow bone to be exact. So not funny at 4:45am.

OH and then I went to school and I looked like death and the teacher said, “How are you feeling?” and I told her the truth which was that I’m SICK because I have a cold and can barely eat because my stomach feels like it does about an hour or so after you’ve discovered you’ve had bad sushi and all you want to do is vomit so you’ll feel better – OMGOSH TMI – (ok I ACTUALLY just told her I’m sick) and she asked if I’ve been to Mexico recently – and I assured her I do not have the swine flu but she said it would be better for everyone if I went home anyway.  So I did.

I LOLd seriously – I did.  I can’t believe my blog abbreviation/acronym is VAG in A (Very American Girl in Australia.)  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ANYWHO – I told my mom and she LOLd too.

Ok so the tag task is to give a shout out to the tagger.  That’s Scoman from “A Name in Your Recollection.”  So here’s my shoutout!  Yo Yo Scoman!  I love reading your blog!!  It makes me smile – even if all of your readers now know me as the girl from the VAGinA blog

Task #2 – list 6 unimportant things that make you happy.  My only issue with this is that if they make me happy then they ARE important!  But I won’t pick at the challenge – I’ll just play along.  These things are NOT the core of my happiness, but they’re little things that I delight in.

1. I LOVE when the lines in the sidewalk are PERFECTLY spaced.  And by that I mean that I can time my footsteps so that I never step on a crack.  Or if a tile floor is multi-colored – I LOVE when one color is spaced perfectly so that I only step on that color and no other. 
2. Bad fashion – it’s wickedly evil of me but I love seeing someone wearing the tackiest of all things.  I laugh.  And it’s wrong – I know – but it’s funny just the same.
3. Trying gross things.  This is a little weird right?  RIGHT!  But I love mixing food together.  I know it’ll probably be gross – it usually is – but I do it anyway.  OR I also like to try gross products.  Like chocolate skittles.  I KNEW those would be foul but I had to try them.  Or pear flavored chocolate.  Or Harry Potter Jelly Belly flavors Booger and Earwax.  Or Chicken flavored potato chips.  If it looks too gross to be in a super market but they’re selling it anyway – I am SO trying it.  And I LOVE trying it even though it’s gross and I laugh about it afterwards.
4. My dogs playing with their squeaker toys.  Chloe will sit there and chomp on that thing for an hour.  Then she’ll go through phases where she’s squeaking it like a crazy squeaking maniac to a nice lulled squeak.  I LOVE it.  It makes me smile every time.  And when she plays tug-of-war with her sister – it’s the BEST!!!
5. I LOVE eyeshadow and glimmer, and shimmer, and lipgloss and flavored lipgloss and pretty lotion, and Victoria’s Secret and MAC and more eyeshadow and helping people pick eyeshadow and smelling pretty things and yeah yeah I know.  I get pretty geeked up about this stuff.  I LUV IT!!!  Take me to the MAC counter or Victoria’s Secret and I’m in happyheavenlalaland.
6. Doing things that are meant for kids.  And yes – I realize other adults do these things – but they do them WITH kids.  I just do them on my own or with any adult I can convince to play along.  Slip-n-slides, building gingerbread houses, carving pumpkins, swinging on swingsets, telling secrets, having slumber parties, sneaking out late at night.  I DELIGHT in these things.

So there you have it – 6 little unimportant things that mean a whole lot to me because they make me happy. 

Next part – tag 6 other people.  Anyone want to volunteer?  No?  Darn it!  I hate tagging people.  So I’m tagging at random.  I picked some numbers then looked at my blog roll and here they are- ~Miss A~,  CarmenForward, NicoleElkington, a la Sophia, Pinkie Larue, Empossible in El Paso.  Love all the blogs in my blogroll!!  These 6 included. 

Good night!!

Ok on to the most IMPORTANT-est things for today – well for right now.  I was flipping through my text book to waste time (I am an amazing time-waster ) and I found this:

EMOTICONS: NON-VERBAL SIGNS ON THE COMPUTER

And I was like, “Say whaaat?  My textbook has a section on EMOTICONS??”  THEN I was like, “omgosh – no way!  I LOVE emoticons!” And THEN I decided that my textbook and I must have been fated to each other.  And THEN I decided to read the whole 1.5 paragraphs on emoticons.  And THEN I looked at the handy chart they put in my textbook.  and NOW I’m wondering why I keep saying “and THEN.” ?? oh well.

So according to my book emoticons are really important.  HAHA!  I KNEW IT!  When I created the tag, “Emoticons make me happy” ages ago I KNEW it was because emoticons are SO IMPORTANT-est-ish.  You see, “Emoticons are a way of denoting emotion when communicating on the internet,” because “when communicating via the computer, we cannot hear voice inflection, nor can we see the funny, naughty or sad emotions of people’s faces.”

YES MY TEXTBOOK USED THE WORD NAUGHTY!  heehee – LUV it!!

Please enjoy the “Emoticon Dictionary” from Mohan:
:-* = kiss
:-X = lips are sealed
:-| = indifferent
:’( = crying
0:-) = angel
:-> = biting sarcastic smile (lol – doesn’t look sarcastic to me!)
:-0 = Oh!
>;-> = devilsh wink

Oh my – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And here are a couple extra fun ones for you. Your homework is to decide what THESE mean. haha!  And yes – yes I DID put a dancing chewbacca, Mr. T, beyonce, ninja and zorro emoticon on my blog.