Winter Song
4
Category Archives: 06 – Self-Discovery
Dancing to no reflection – Green Velvet feat. Kid Sister
It’s no secret I work on my personal development by seeing a counselor. She’s pretty freaking cool except today we were talking about that blasted sea salt diet and how I signed up for a total fad diet when I didn’t need to lose weight, she goes, ”It’s sad isn’t it? The hold narcissism has on you.”
Umm – WHAT??? then she tried to back track and be like, “Oh narcissism isn’t that bad – it’s just another way of saying vanity.” But the damage had already been done. She called me narcissistic! Me? Narcissistic? I mean I only have a blog dedicated to my life, I participate in photo projects that include taking a picture of myself every single day for a year, and I like to dance in front of the mirror. What’s so narcissistic about that?
;) hahahahaha
ok ok – maybe she had a LIL bit of a point. But only a LIL bit. Then she goes, “I think you should put away your scale and your mirrors for a week.” AND to add insult to the injury, she said, “Don’t worry, most people who are narcissistic just have really low self-esteems and we already knew you had a low self-esteem.”
Ohhhhhhh kaaaaaaayyyyyyyy
Look – I was already FLOORED by her narcissistic accusation. SHOCK! Hello?? She wasn’t supposed to be so BLUNT! And then she tells me to give up my scale and MIRRORS for a week?? And tells me my narcissism is a front for low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Say WHAT? I stood up to leave (the session was over) and she added, “Oh and this includes reflections in buildings or glass – but you can look at your face in the mirror if you want.”
I walked out of her office in complete and utter disbelief. I’m still in a little bit of disbelief. And then on the way home when I realized how many reflections I had to STOP myself from looking into – HAHAHAHAHAHA that’s when I decided – ok – I’ll do it. But just because I CAN – even though you all don’t believe that I can. :)
Tonight – here’s what I’ll be dancing to – with no reflection. My mirror is covered up. Oh dang. Can I really go SEVEN DAYS???
Why blog? FEEL IT!
I’m kinda over blog-haters.
Guess what? I blog and I like it.
I blog because I can. I blog because I want to. I blog because there are a lot of really cool people out there that you can meet through blogs (like all of you whom I follow and follow me – Hearts to you all!!!) And I blog because I have thoughts – and I’m not afraid to share them. So here’s to you – all of you who blog! And here’s to you – all of you who read! Long live blogging. :)
In other news – sometimes you just need to get lost in music. Here’s what I’m lost in tonight – really really loud. Three 6 Mafia – FEEL IT!
Would it come as a huge shock if I told you I felt moderately numb as of late? With the stress of being sick for AGES and then finals – and now a summer class – and a move back home after 17 months of being in another country – yeah … music is my escape. My lifeline.
Orange Sky – Sand Storm – Bondi Beach and Part 5 :)
Ok – so today is supposed to be my LAST 200 words about online communities but BEFORE we get to it (cuz I know you’re all like SUPER DUPER EXCITED about it) I want to show you what I woke up to this morning.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PltMz1gQBJM[/youtube]
CRRAAAZZZYYY! I’ve seen the world glow before. A bright moonlit night with snow all around makes for a stunning BRIGHT night. But glowing red, orange and sometimes blood orange? Today was a first. Definitely a wow!
Ok so I’ve come to realize that online communities and our identities within online communities are complicated topics!!! There’s no way we could really have a full blown conversation about it in only 200 words per pop. But hey – it’s the effort that counts right? :) Thanks to the commentors (scoMan, dave, ebonyJewel and MattyMatt) for commenting!!! It’s always great to hear others’ insight!!
And for those of you who I have no doubt WANTED to comment deep down in your heart (which is everyone else i.e MOM, TIM, ALEXIS, SCOTT and all of my other bloggy friends) thank you ALSO because life is more fun with family and bloggy friends!!! :) ) Oh and it’s not too late to throw in your 2 cents because I’ve decided to write my final paper in a different class on this topic. :)
Down to bizness.
ONLINE COMMUNITIES – You and Me are a CommuniTY – part #5 – wrap up.
(btw anyone notice that I did part NUMBER 5 or part NUMBER 4? LOL I did it just to be silly. I am fully aware, thank you, that it SHOULD be part 5 or just #5. hee hee)
I’ve decided that I am fascinated by this topic. 100%. Our world is becoming more and more digital every day. We move to online communities more and more every day. Our selves, our identities, and our culture are all being impacted by this change. And though I suppose our identities, cultures and selves always change, I think it’s important to recognize the significance of online avatars/identities and how this increase in control over image may affect our core definitions.
I took this opportunity to round up some (only 3 because most of them were dumb) quotes on self image.
1“The ”self-image” is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.”
2“Our self image, strongly held, essentially determines what we become”
Maxwell Maltz quotes (US plastic surgeon, motivational author, and creator of the Psycho-Cybernetics, 1927-2003)
3“If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?” 
Chuck Palahniuk quotes (American freelance Journalist, Satirist and Novelist. b.1961)
I suppose one interesting thing about networks and identities is they change with time. As I meet and become connected with more people, my network grows. As my connections meet and become connected with more people, my network grows. As my identity is tried and tested with time, it evolves and takes stronger shape. I don’t believe we can STOP a network or an identity. We may take on new layers, new directions and new flavors, but the network around us and our identity (regardless of how many we choose to have) all overlap a bit with each other. We can’t go backward – only forward.
Part #4 – You and Me are a CommuniTY – Avatars
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You MUST MUST MUST watch these videos – LOL and you should watch them simultaneously if possible. :) Same song – different actors. In one version you see an ACTUAL person. In the other version you see their AVATAR (or online identity.) SO CLASSIC!!!!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCgHS0TwIA8[/youtube]
We left off yesterday thinking about how many identities we have and how our online identities may differ from our “real life” selves. I confessed that years ago I presented my identity on mySpace differently than on Facebook. I was the same person – but my online identities differed. ScoMan made a good point about how our identities change according to context. Dave philosophized that our TRUE identity is found somewhere between our dreams (identities we wish we could try out – or do try out in the online world) and our fears (the identity we present to the actual world – held back by fear or societal pressure.)
Soo… let’s get on with it. 200 words or less. :) Let’s talk AVATARS!!! :)
(First you should PROLLY for fun – turn a picture of yourself into an avatar-ish pic at BeFunky.com – why? because it’s FUN! :)
Dr. Suler from Self Help Magazine explains,
“The basic assumption of a psychotherapy using avatars is that all of the personae created in the virtual scenario are the various manifestations of the person’s psyche.”
DO YOU AGREE?? Is the picture you choose to use as an avatar a manifestation of your psyche? I think it might!! We choose the clothes we want to wear and how we present ourselves. It says something about us. How is choosing how we present ourselves online be any different?
This begs the question – if the avatar we choose is an alter ego then is it our alter ego interacting in the network or online community? For example if Jane is a thin, elderly woman but her avatar in her online community is a fat man – is it the fat man or thin Jane engaging in the network?? And if our avatar becomes besties within a social network with the fat man, are we really only networked with thin Jane? Because we THOUGHT we were besties with a fat man!!
This next clip is an example of how online identities can be so very, very different than real life.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge2FHDf_L78[/youtube]
Alright – that’s enough for this part!! We’ll conclude tomorrow!! :)