Category Archives: Didn’t you know I’m a superhero/villain?

Bic is NOT a Venus Razor

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I SHOULD be too embarrassed to admit this. But should-ing yourself to death is no way to die. I want to go out in a blaze of glory where I COULD-ED myself to death because I actually believed I DID turn into a superhero and could do ANYTHING!! YAY!

I LUV the Venus razor. It’s great right? Right! Well the other day I was going to wear a skirt to a club and though I had shaved my legs that morning with my trusty Venus – I wanted a fresh shave for the night. I didn’t have time to run home so I stopped off at the store and bought the necessary ingredients for a Vegas shave (lotion and a razor.) It works like a charm!

Or at least it does with the Venus.

I was in a hurry and just grabbed a cheap-o disposable razor because my girlfriend said it works just as well in a bind.

Umm …

WRONG!!!

I bet you already see where this is going! Did you see about 40 trillion gajillion little pricks of blood all over my cut-up legs? If you did then you must be psychic! Congrats! That’s a cool superhero power. And I bet you also saw that I would NOT be wearing a skirt because of it either. A great way to save time right? I got to waste even MORE time changing clothes!!!

Life lesson? Don’t trust the people who tell you cheap-o disposable razors are ok in a bind. It’s not true.

And on a positive note I felt like a pre-teen again shaving my legs for the first time. Ah – such happy – terrible horrible very traumatic – memories.  Hooray for me!

Oh and I don’t know why but I feel the need to tell you I’m in love with the song “Day N Nite (Crookers Remix)” by Kid Cudi.

Superheroes, Pop Art, Kissing and ME!

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If you were magically transformed into a superhero/villain TOMORROW and you had no choice in the matter – which one do you think you would be?  (not which one you want to be)  Are you a Clark Kent type of guy?  Are you a Wonder Woman?  Maybe deep down you know you’re kind of evil?

jean-grey

I’m pretty sure I’d be turned into Jean Grey/Phoenix.  (see picture at left)  I’ve given this some SERIOUS thought because it’s SUPER important ;) – and Jean Grey who is also Phoenix is my conclusion.

Where is all of this coming from?  I was bored tonight so I started a Pop Art Photoshop tutorial (see picture below/right) and turned myself into a comic book dream ;) (except it was my first try so it kind of sucks.)

super-hero-daisy-11

My comic book message for today is “Please send me mixed messages and then insult me.  It’s fun!”   This is a little shout out for MIUB.  YOU SUCK!  Ok not really.  We’re friends and I enjoy talking to him.

ANYWHO – today we started talking about how many people we’ve kissed this year.  AND NO THIS WASN’T A COMPETITION – it was more of a Matty-Matt-gives-me-a-hard-time-and-so-I-want-to-know-if-he-is-justified/ “Am I above the normal range?” compare-and-contrast type of talk.  So apparently I AM above the normal range – (for Utah) but whatever – MIUB is too.  And that actually made me feel better – in a weird twisted way.  Should I really be happy that he kissed as many people as me this year?  I think yes.  It means we’re about par with each other.  )

EEWWW! but GET THIS!! He had the nerve to say, “Where do you meet all of these guys?”  WHAT??  Oh so he can meet that many girls (which I was one of them btw) but I can’t find the same in return?

WHAT.EVER.

But the good news is (despite all of this) he told me that some of his memories of our time together go through his mind on replay.  And so yeah – I’m glad I’m not forgettable.  D

Why Video Games are Good for You and How They Gave Me Mad Skillz

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I’ve been sharing/confessing so much over the past few days I’ve decided to keep it up! I surely didn’t create the new label “Did I just admit that?” for nothing!

Back in the good old U.S. of A. I have a Wii that is probably collecting dust. (Is it Scott Pete?) I loved my Wii. And I LOVED Wii Boxing. I was like, seriously, I was like ACE at that game. I could take down ANYONE.

Sore losers would always be like, “Yeah but this is just a video game.”

And in my head I’d be like “Whatever loser. You’re just jealous because I’m like the girl version of Rocky.”

Tonight I went to my very first boxing CLASS. And not a Wii class btw – this one was the real deal and was down at the beach. My instructor was so impressed with my skills that he asked me where I learned to punch and move as well as I do.

Want to know what I told him?

Oh yeah baby – that’s right. I told him I earned my skills on a video game. That’s right. My mad moves come from Wii Boxing. Take THAT Sydney!

Oh and p.s. – I’m sore already. I’ll be lucky if I can lift my arms above my head tomorrow.

I have the internet again – YAY!!!

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RIGHT NOW – I’m sitting on the futon that is supposed to be my bed, in a closet that is supposed to be my room. I should be able to move into my REAL room with a REAL bed in the next month. But not yet.

I tried to kill the same spider 6 times today – I’m pretty sure I was successful on the 6th try. I killed one yesterday too. I think my superhuman peripheral spider radar vision is stronger than ever. My spider paranoia is also stronger than ever.

It’s pretty flippin amazing how out of shape I became in only 9 days. I exercised this morning and was huffing enough to audition for the Big Bad Wolf. All I did was WALK.

BIG NEWS!!! I took the bus for the first time in my life today. And then I took the train. And THEN I walked a mile from the train station to class. I wore my backpack. My backpack suffocates my back. It was pretty darn sexy when I finally got to class and took my backpack off. The back of my shirt was drenched in sweat.

gross.

And while I’m sharing embarrassing things… I’m listening to Jesse McCartney right now. On REPEAT.

Spiders give me the heebie-jeebies

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I have a 6th sense for spiders. In fact, I have superhuman peripheral spider radar vision. Yeah – it’s true. And try to say THAT ten times fast. No not “that” ten times – try to say superhuman peripheral spider radar vision ten times fast. Oh yeah – it’s not easy to say.

Which is why this gift is such a burden. Superhuman powers that are a mouthful to say are more special than the ones that aren’t. Let’s just agree that I’m right.

It’s like the time in the middle of the night that I crawled out of bed to go to the bathroom and caught by the reflection of moonlight the spider crawling up my bare thigh. If I wasn’t cursed with this amazing gift I wouldn’t have had to SCREAM, freak-out, and in a spasm to get that blasted thing OFF of me I wouldn’t have bruised my hip on the bathroom counter.

Or today when I noticed on the ceiling above my shower a little BIG HUGE spider that was most assuredly harmless a deadly one that was more scared of me than I was of it wanted to not only BITE me but to burrow under my skin causing a slow and painful death… if I didn’t have this gift I wouldn’t have had to try and balance precariously on the toilet and use a roll of toilet paper to try and kill it. And then when it didn’t die and started crawling along the toilet paper roll toward my SKIN I wouldn’t have dropped the last roll of toilet paper into the running shower, screamed, fallen off the toilet and then panicked to try and find out where the spider landed.

Oh the joys of superhuman powers. And p.s. heebie-jeebies is a word. I attached the definition.