Category Archives: When things don’t feel quite right

Breathe me – Sia

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I don’t have much to say today.  This song is a bit how I feel …

[audio:http://www.therealkylestewart.com/biscuits/jan08/Breathe_Me.mp3|autostart=yes]

Darn, darn, darn, I think I’m engaged again ;) & Things you should NOT do when hitting on me

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I shouldn’t joke about something so serious.  I’m actually quite outraged.  A kiss may be a contract for marriage but NOT WHEN THE KISS IS FORCED ON YOU!!!  Today’s blog project (I’ll explain the project another day) is to write a list.  I think that’s grand and all but I’m angry about tonight and want to vent.  SO – here is a LIST of things you should NOT do when you are trying to hit on me.

If you want to increase your odds of success when hitting on me DO NOT:

  • spill your drink on me.
  • step in front of my male friends who are talking to me because you think they are a threat.  I am not your prey you stupid pig.  [insert fake but sweet smile]
  • repeat yourself over and over and over and over and over again.
  • have wandering hands after I have REPEATEDLY TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF YOU STUPID SWEARWORD!
  • talk to me after you’ve drank so much that you’re an idiot (giving you the VERY GRACIOUS benefit of the doubt that you MAY have not already been an idiot before the drinks.)
  • mention, suggest or use the words -fate, destiny, kismet, karma, fortune- or anything that even resembles any of those words when speaking about our recent introduction.
  • tell me you’d like to apologize for your outrageous behavior and then try to kiss me.
  • blame your unacceptable behavior on the alcohol.  I met a nice hottie last weekend who had been drinking but was still respectful.
  • continue to attempt to kiss me even though I asked you to please stop trying to kiss me.
  • grab my arms and forcefully prevent me from walking away.
  • forcefully kiss me.
  • And last but not least – don’t be a mother effin’ jack@$#!!!!

I know I lived in a little bubble back home.  And I understand that my old school traditional upbringing has left me a little naive and ill suited for the REAL world.  I probably should have seen all of the above coming tonight – but I didn’t. And yes it all happened.  And yes it made me upset.

I broke down and saw an international student counselor at school 2 weeks ago.  Things haven’t felt right for awhile and I wanted suggestions to deal with the stress.  Want to know what she said to me?  “I don’t normally advise this.  But in your case, maybe going home wouldn’t be such a bad idea.  It’s worth considering.”

I didn’t want to hear that.

So we’ll pretend she didn’t say it- at least for now.  Instead let’s focus on the fun part of my day – here are a couple pics from my first experience at the races.

races 1

Me and my FM – yay!!  He’s a blast.

races 4

races 3

This is a new friend from school – she’s an absolute doll!

Unspoken Words Writing Prompt

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20 Something Writers had an interesting writing prompt.  I’m 20 something and have some unspoken business so yeah – here we go – though I’m not promising any creativity.

We all have something we want to say to someone. Maybe it’s someone in your life now. Or, maybe it is something you wish you said to someone who is no longer in your life. It could even be Mr./Ms. Random Person that you saw in the local coffee shop today. What do you want to say that you were never able to?You can leave the person(s) identity anonymous, if you’d like. Feel free to feature more than one person. Do it in letter form or any form you prefer. Show us that creativity!

I haven’t deleted your number from my phone.  And up until very recently I would find myself thinking, “Oh I should call him about that.”  It’s silly.  I know.  But old habits die hard. I also haven’t deleted your email address or contact information from my address book.  Your birthday is still marked on my calendar. I still think about gift ideas for you at Christmas.

Sometime I dream about you and feel sick when I wake up and realize you’re gone.  Fairly frequently I have nightmares that it was all an accident and we misunderstood.  You didn’t leave for good but now you will.

I see myself becoming more and more like you. I wish I could talk to you about it.  I wonder what you would think if you knew I moved to Australia.  I wonder if you would like it here.

I miss your dry humor.  I miss making fun of people with you.  I miss you.

You were so unhappy with your life.  I hope you don’t feel that way anymore.

I understand why you left.  I love you.

~That is what I would love to say to my brother – may he rest in peace.~

AND NOW here’s to the rest of you who I’ve been dying to talk to:

  • Please shave your legs.
  • You’re not the brightest bulb on the tree and though some people can get away with the F bomb – it happens to make YOU look even less intelligent.
  • I wish I could see you and your fannypack again.
  • I gave you all of the pictures I had of you – please stop self-obsessing and get over it.  :) :)
  • You remind me why it is I like being alone.  :)

Whew – what a list!  Glad I got that off my chest.  ;)