In case I still haven’t found an internet connection … here is a true story written a little differently. 

The assignment: 2nd person narrative – direct commands to self.

Pull into your parking spot. Jump out of the car. Hurry, you’re running late. Wait! Don’t forget to lint brush.

Let your love for your dogs who shed incredible amounts of fur show in your face as you think about all the hair you have to remove from your pants. Remember they are worth the extra fuss and the few stray hairs that the lint brush never gets.

Now, quickly throw the lint brush back in the car and grab your keys which you left in the ignition. Try not to be so ungraceful. Secure your badge. Straighten up! Press the “lock” button on your key remote at least twenty times. Maybe try to remember to replace the battery soon!

Work it while you walk because … try as you may … you were totally ungraceful when you were grabbing your keys from outside the car, struggling around the steering wheel and then grabbing for stuff on the passenger seat – all without actually having your body in the car.

Move those hips – you have some making up to do!!! Don’t look behind you because the super hottie is RIGHT THERE!

Wave good morning to the security guard. Move in closer for a more formal hello. Glance over your shoulder to see where super hottie ended up. Look away! Look away! Say goodbye to the security guard and smile to yourself because super hottie wasn’t only looking at you when you glanced over your shoulder but he was laughing at you too. Feel content that you entertain him because any attention is better than no attention. Be grateful that he at least notices you.

Also, make a mental note to be more graceful when you are in a hurry. Do the math in your head and realize he would have seen the dance you did while lint brushing your butt. And then recognize that he would have also watched you wrestle with the steering wheel and witnessed you fall over yourself to get your stuff out of your car.

Pick up the pace to make it to the elevator. Be aware that super hottie totally just slowed down for you to catch up. Smile politely at him as you walk past him. Act like you don’t notice he slowed down to walk with you. Remain mysterious.

Be self conscious that you missed a few stray hairs on the back of your black pants as you wait for the elevator. Try not to fidget because super hottie is standing DIRECTLY behind you.

Graciously thank super hottie for being a gentleman when he extends his arm toward the open elevator right next to him, signaling for you to go first.

For real – stop fidgeting, you’ve been alone in the elevator with him before. Cast a quick glance in his direction and then look straight forward. Don’t let your eyes falter. Keep your eyes on the door, he’s closer than you were aware and he will notice if you look at him again… and he probably noticed the quick glance you threw in his direction already.

Breathe. Remember to breathe. Count the floors silently as you pass them. Take a deep breath – it’s ok that it’s taking 40 times longer to get to your floor than usual. Don’t lose your patience just because you’re nervous. Be aware that you’re about to hit his floor but don’t look at him. Stop turning your head in his direction. Wait … stop looking at him. Don’t make eye contact. Hey – stop making eye contact. Don’t smile! STOP SMILING!

Well don’t be surprised that he’s talking to you now. And make sure that he doesn’t see the shocked jubilation all over your face.

Analyze his smirk… it’s teasing … perfect. Look at him innocently. Observe his voice, smooth and deep, “So… Dog or a cat?” Comprehend the question. Really do try not to blush!

Answer, “Two dogs actually.” Smile coyly. Now ramble because you’re nervous, “Kind of a lot but that’s what lint brushes are for. They work ya know?” Feel dumb because you just said something dumb.

Experience relief as he gives you a happy smile and nods his head in affirmation while saying, “Yep.”

Say goodbye as he exits the elevator. Allow the feeling of elation to sink in because he talked to you. Shake your head softly in disbelief and smile as the elevator continues to your floor. Sigh because he’s so adorable.

Marvel that you keep getting stuck in the same elevator with him but be cautious not to label it fate just yet – although it really is amazing that out of the thousands of people in the building he is the only one you happen to ride the elevator with time and time again.

Dream about the next time you will see him. Hope it will be soon.