Category Archives: I can’t sleep and hate insomnia

My Australian Story Part 3 – Our Dance

Posted on by
1

Do you ever feel like you need a week to just catch up on life?  Things have been so crazy hectic for me the past couple weeks – I feel like I’m behind on everything – including just THINKING!  I have been so busy I’ve barely had time to think!!  I keep wondering when things are going to slow down – get back to “normal” – but my life is just go-go-go.  I don’t see it changing either – I start an intensive summer school course in 2 days and then a new semester so yeah … But this is NOT a complaint.  I’m happy to be busy – I’m just a little surprised I guess.  )

So if you missed the background of “My Australian Story” you can click on the following links to catch up.  )

Where did I leave off?  Oh yes.  We locked eyes in the crowd and then he disappeared.

I was totally ok with it.  Say what?  It may surprise you to learn that I didn’t mind losing him in the crowd but I was in VEGAS of all places – not my ideal place to meet men (no matter how much electricity our gaze may have held.)  But then as I was weaving through a different crowd our eyes met again and my resolve to be stubborn weakened.  He was keeping me in sight – and I liked it.  And there was just something about him…

An exasperated Sheryl grabbed my arm and literally pulled me onto the dance floor.  She said we had to dance to give him the chance to find us.  I resisted.  We were in VEGAS!!  What was the point?

A very drunk Australian came over and tried to dance up on us.  His accent was so heavy.  I told Sheryl he was probably faking it.  LOL!  I ignored the Aussie until Sheryl grabbed me again and said, “What is wrong with you?  This guy is with your boy!  They’re from Australia and are just passing through Vegas for the night.”  Oh roll my eyes!  My already not-going-to-happen Vegas fling just turned into impossible.  He’s from another country?  Now there’s REALLY no point!!  (Btw – this was a year ago ok?  D I am not quite as negative now.  lol.)

And then there he was introducing himself to me, “Hi I’m Dave.”  Choke – cough!  Please he did NOT just say his name was Dave!!!  I hid my laughter.  It figures that would be his name.  Want to know how many Daves I’ve dated?  Too many.

We started talking.  Really talking.  His dating resume was impressive – intelligent, hot, fit, world traveler, ambitious etc.  He really WAS too good to be true – except there he was in front of me and it WAS the truth.

When he tried to kiss me 2 hours later I turned my cheek.   He didn’t give up.  I let him kiss me on the eighth attempt.

Oh if I could only describe the butterflies in my stomach and the smile on my face.  I tried to fight it … but there is no escaping your fate once you are on the right path.  We had to meet.  I had to meet him.  That chance encounter – the dance – the kiss … they were the pebbles tossed into the glass lake of my life whose ripples changed everything.

I spent 5 hours with him.  The chemistry was amazing.  The conversation was amazing.  We clicked.  And when we said goodbye he said the one thing I never expected.  “I WILL see you again.”

What?  How?  He was going back to Australia in a couple hours.  But he looked me directly in the eyes and said it again, “I WILL see you again.”  And as I walked away from him I believed it.  I didn’t know how it would happen – I didn’t know how the whole night had even happened.  But looking at him – those eyes – I knew he meant it.

I can’t believe I’m posting tonight

Posted on by
Reply

It’s totally Christmas Eve right now and though I made the suggestion to myself that I shouldn’t post tonight or tomorrow here I am – posting.  WAHOO!  What am I doing??  Why am I sitting around writing for my blog on CHRISTMAS EVE?

Ok so before you label me as TOO pathetic – give me a little credit here.  ) It’s s already like 11:00 pm – the fam is all tucked away in their beds and I did stay busy the whole day.  ) YAY!

Ooh – speaking of staying up really late every single night and never being able to sleep – (wait a minute – I didn’t say anything about that!) do you think I’ll catch Santa tonight?  What a shame Santa is MARRIED and not hot.  It takes away the appeal of meeting someone late at night under the mistletoe.

And speaking of catching mommy kissing Santa Claus (umm … ???) guess what?  I’ve never actually kissed anyone under mistletoe and I think that is also a big shame.  Maybe next year.

Today was a fun day.  Lots of laughing and smiling.  I like that.  ) And now I’m smiling because of Holiday Bejeweled.  Ooh the addicting pleasure!  Part of the fun at our house are our traditions.  I thought I’d share a few of them.

CHRISTMAS EVE TRADITIONS

  • Mexican Fiesta. There is no Christmas poultry at our house.  No no – we spice it up with a little Mexican buffet every Christmas Eve.  Homemade burritos, tostadas, tacos, enchiladas, chile verde, slow cooked meat, rice, beans, guacamole, salsa etc served up on gorgeous china.  MMMMM.  My SIL (sister-in-law) admitted she thought it was a little unusual the first year but it didn’t take long to convert her.  lol.  Now she looks forward to it like the rest of us.  MMMMMMMM YUMMY!
  • GAMES, GAMES, and MORE GAMES! We try and introduce a new game every year.  As I mentioned in a previous post we picked Blokus this year but what I didn’t mention is that we added another at the last minute.  It was a gift from my Aunt.  The game is Stack It. And we played for a few hours competing against each other to see who could stack the fastest.  I’d like to announce I hold two family records.  Oh yes.
  • The Muppets Christmas Carol – oh how I love the witty banter in this movie.  And then of course I ADORE the song which the Ghost of Christmas Present sings.

Oh and in other news I’ve solidified my position as a poser with the addition of a terribly recognizable designer hoodie to my jacket collection.  Hey – it’s hot ok?  Even my parents were like “Wow that looks awesome” even though it is funky/wild like the rest of this brand’s collection.  [shake my head at myself - at least I'm honest about it!]

You really should probably check out Holiday Bejeweled btw – it’s just so much fun!

Kindred Spirits

Posted on by
Reply

I LUUUUVVVV Anne of Green Gables.  The books make me laugh out loud and the movie is delightful.  I’m telling you this because (mostly) I want to bore you.   I mean seriously, who cares about a scrawny little redheaded girl with too many opinions and an imagination that runs wild?  (Don’t answer that.)

Anywho -  Tonight I met the cutest girl (a new friend of Matty Matt’s) and we hit it off instantly.  She even teased Matty Matt that she was excited to meet a kindred spirit (me ).)  HOLD UP!  Did she actually use the phrase “kindred spirit?”  YES!!!  And that basically like sealed the deal because for real!  Who else even uses that phrase except for me?  lol.  We are obviously kindred spirits!!  And now we can hang out all of the time.  D D Oh wait – except that I’m about to go back to AUSTRALIA. (

Being back home has been so much fun and I can’t believe it’s almost time to start packing again.  Everyone told me that I was going to go home (to Utah) and realize that I LOVE Sydney and be so excited to return.   They said memories are better than the real thing and when I got back to Utah I’d realize it wasn’t as good as my memories.  WRONG!!

I have the COOLEST family.  My little brother is not only a kindred spirit but a BFF.  My parents are sa-weet.   My older brother and his family are freakin’ awesome.  My BFFs are the BEST!!!  I meet kindred spirits left and right (not so in Sydney) and if all of this weren’t enough – my dogs are here!!!

12 months ago moving away from Utah to “find myself” was the most important goal in my life.  Now that I’ve left it seems I’ve “found myself” right where I accidentally left my heart – in Utah.  My most important goal now?  Moving back.

11 months to go.  I wonder if I’ll still feel this way next November when it’s time to move back for good.  I’ll laugh if November rolls around and I write a post saying instead of moving home I’m shipping my dogs to Australia.  I doubt it will happen but my life never ends up the way I expected.

A little Music Therapy

Posted on by
Reply

I have a weakness: loud music, pumping bass, and a sweet beat.  Give me these three things and I can’t sit still.  I’ll bounce in the car, dance in the shower or shake it like a rockstar at a party.  I LOVE dancing and I love to FEEL the music.

So tonight when I went to a sick party – the DJ was AMAZING – the bass was popping, the beats were addicting – I decided to get my groove thang on like there was no tomorrow.  Plus, I’m being dumb about HIM and I needed to pound out a little frustration with some hard core booty poppin.

Unfortunately for me, most of the girls there were too stuffy to dance and so instead of participating in some heart healthy goodness they sat back and hated.  Ooh – frigid losers!  GRR!!!

Anyway I was at the party to hear my friend Simeon perform some hits from his new CD and didn’t know many people there.  ScottPete (my brother) and Matty Matt (my BFF) came with me.  We hung out in the back and I danced in front of them while they did a little chit-chatting.

A little cutie in the center of the room caught my eye and I wandered off to get closer to him and that’s when some stuffy, not cute, rudette came up to the boys and said to them, “Oh so looks like you guys were getting your own private show huh?”  MattyMatt just looked at her and said, “Yep, that’s how I roll.”  ScottPete didn’t hear her but when he found out what she said he was SO p.i. double s. ed.  Yep.  P. I. double S. ed.

Private show?  She can shove it.  The only “show” I was giving was how to look good while droppin’ it on the dance floor.  Maybe instead of being such a hater she should have tried to learn a few moves.  She needed a little tutoring for sure!  Her arms were flailing about like she was the propellers of a broken, twisted, dink helicopter.

But even though some people were being haters, the party rocked and I had so much fun dancing.  For me, there is nothing quite like it.  It’s so therapeutic.  I go on the dance floor,  the music and bass are at that perfect level, it seeps into my body and I just move.  And attract a lot of attention.

I feel much better about HIM today.  The dancing and music worked wonders!  I just had a few moments of weakness over the past couple days.  But I think I’m better now.  ) And if not?  Well tomorrow I’ll do a bit more dancing.

Insomnia – the joy of my nights

Posted on by
Reply

I used to get insomnia ALL of the time.  And I mean ALL of the time.   Sure it sucked but I dealt with it.  It was my life – what else could I do?

It kind of went away when I moved to the land down under (which coincidentally was the same time I gave up gluten) and I announced myself as cured!  YAY!  I was officially free from my sleeping disorder (diagnosis made by the magic powers of Daisy’s mind.)

Then about 6 weeks ago the insomnia started again.  I wonder if it could have anything to do with the bajillion things going on in my mind.

And then of course there’s this problem of HIM.  Yes – HIM.  My mind always drifts to HIM during the long hours at night when I want to sleep but can’t shut my mind down.  OF COURSE I think about HIM when I have insomnia – he has it too.  AND he’s never far from my mind. WHY??!!!???

Somewhere along the line he became an unconscious habit – one that I’m just barely recognizing.  I had it under control when I was in Sydney.  I very decidedly told myself that I was not allowed to think about him AT ALL and I was at least 80% successful.  You see, he kind of almost broke my heart. And he WOULD have broken it but I kept that pretty under control too.  I’d say I was at least 80% successful.  ;)

Ok so about 3 weeks before I came home though, I FINALLY admitted to my BFF to the extreme, Crysta, and my mom that I still had feelings for him.  AGH!!!  I’m so dumb!!!   And then of course now I’ve come back to memory lane.  And everyone asks about him because of course they ALL knew about him before I left. I was completely at least 80%  infatuated with him and at one point he was at least 80% infatuated with me in return.  Oh and did I mention he just happened to live in Australia?  WOW!  Imagine that!  (Full story coming soon.)

So everyone asks and that pushes him to the forefront of my mind – and ERR!!!

I guess today was just a little bit extra sucky because I went and saw all of my old coworkers who were there with me from the beginning of the infatuation.  And of course they asked – they ALL asked about him – and even though I told them I was moving to Australia for SCHOOL and not a boy they all secretly hoped it would work out and conveniently forgot that he lost interest BEFORE I EVEN ARRIVED!!!!  I reminded them of this tiny detail and they were like, “Oh yeah that’s right.  So he didn’t regain interest when he saw you again?”

NOPE!  AND THANK YOU FOR RUBBING IT IN!!!

Oh I can do nothing but laugh.  My silly heart.  It’s all good though, my thoughts of him now are nothing but wishes that he’s doing well and is happy.  Ok that’s a lie – sometimes they’re a bit more complicated than that – sometimes they’re memories – or silly wishes.  But for the most part, I don’t ever dwell.  I just wonder what he’s up to and hope he has a smile on his face.  )