Category Archives: It’s an “Oh no!” or “GRRR” or “:(” day

Dancing on the soccer field – I confess to CC+4

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I know what you’re probably thinking … you’re probably thinking I have some sort of ill wish on my heart because I keep hanging out with CC+4.  Why would I do that???  The more time we spend together the more we get to know each other – the more we get to know each other the more we like each other – and the more we like each other the more fun we have.  I can’t resist – and even though I know the more fun we have the more sucky the goodbye will be again when I leave him a second time on Monday -

I can’t resist.

-3 was a total douchebag for so many more reasons than I ever was willing to blog about – but he was right about one thing.  I wasn’t into it 100%.

I couldn’t be.  Here’s another pic from that boating day …

CC+4 and Daisy

I’ve said all along I needed resolution with CC+4 before I’d ever be able to give my heart fully to anyone else – and coming back to Utah – realizing that CC+4 is the ONLY person who can tempt me away from my reclusive family life – and yeah – I don’t know where I’m going with this – but you know that feeling when you’re in a crowded room, or stadium, or party but you feel completely secure, almost oblivious to the chaos around?

The world kind of disappears when I’m with CC+4 -

I’m THAT into him.

Last night he asked me out on a proper date.  He invites me to do things ALL OF THE TIME but generally I have other plans and yeah – anyway – it was Pioneer Day yesterday so we went to a Major League Soccer Game – he was fun and flirtatious – looked fly as always – and we were with a big group and he made sure that everyone knew he was taken for the night.  lol.  After the game we went onto the field to watch the fireworks – he held me close and we sat away from our group.

AAANNNDDD then AFTER the fireworks -

the stadium lights turned on

and there in the middle of the soccer field …

he grabbed me and we danced.

Yes – we danced.

He spun me around, held me close, danced me in circles and put #3′s elevator dancing to complete shame. lol.  I’m teasing – but let’s compare.  A quick dance in an elevator – a long dance in front of tons of people on the field of a major league soccer field? I guess it’s not just Australians who know how to romance a girl.

And as a quick fyi – my FM should be proud – we salsa-ed.  :)

After the fireworks we went back to his house for a party and then snuck away.

And that’s when I did it!!!  Oh wow – this was a big one.

I’m new at this heart-to-heart define-the-relationship stuff so I didn’t go THAT far but here’s how it went …

Me – “You  make my life complicated.”

Him – “What??  I make your life complicated?” He chuckles.

Me – “Yeah – you know how you kinda had a GF when I first got back?” – he nods – “Well I kind of had a BF too.” – SHOCK on his face.  I continue – “He was really nice.  We had fun – he told me he loved me about a week ago – we talked about having kids – blah blah blah – and then he dumped me a couple of days later.”

Him – laughs in surprise – “He told you all of that and then broke up with you?”

Me – “Yep.  He said I wasn’t into it 100% and he was right.”  I give him a long sultry look ;) and then look away a little shyly.  I continue – “It’s hard to be 100% into someone when you’re in Utah and into someone else.” pause –

We lock eyes for like what feels like forever and

then he kisses me.

I don’t even think I’ll see him again before I leave – tonight he’s out of town – tomorrow is my family farewell dinner and tomorrow he’s headed into the mountains for his best friend’s bday party – I was invited – but family first …

I leave Monday …

Now what??  Will he get scared off?  Will we continue our long distance friendship?  Will I see him again?  Only time will tell … but my fingers are crossed…

And this is not related but I la-la-la-LOVE this pic – my niece and my sister-in-law (her mom.)  She’s so funny – AND she’s met CC+4 and she not only likes him but asks me when she’ll see him again.  Big bonus points for CC+4 – he’s GREAT with kids.

BRECKY VERSION BLACK AND WHITE WITH GREEN

I’m an introvert – maybe that makes me boring +pics

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Want to know a secret?  I am an introvert.  Believe it or not – it’s the truth.

Sometimes I feel guilty about this – sometimes I even feel like I SHOULD feel embarrassed or ashamed.  Lots of times I would rather hang out with my dogs than go and be “social.”  Some people would judge this as anti-social and problematic.  I think what people forget is that being introverted doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being social.  It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy parties, meeting new people, telling jokes, or being outgoing – it just means at the end of the day I don’t feel “whole” without a little – well – quiet time.

peace

It’s difficult to be an introvert in an extroverted world.  People often give me a hard time for not going to parties or for turning down dates.  They look at me like I’m a weirdo when I tell them I declined an offer to do this or that and played frisbee with my dogs instead.

the girls

It’s just that in the grand scheme of things I look at it this way.  Will I remember the party I went to this weekend in 10 years?  Probably not.

Will I remember making a music video with my nieces and nephew?  The family doggy birthday party I threw for Duchess and Chloe (they turned 4 btw) ?  How about the afternoon with my nephew when he taught me all about water balloons?

Yes.  Yes I think I will.

She has my lips - aw!!!

Does this mean there is something wrong with me?  Maybe.  But I’m ok with that.

WHY AM I BRINGING THIS UP???  Because people give me a hard time about it.  They insinuate that I’m not living my life to the fullest.  But seriously – I’m on VACATION I don’t want to date when I COULD be spending quality time with my peeps (family and dogs.)  :)

My favorite little people

It’s funny how differently people define fun.  Or maybe it’s just funny how I personally define fun.  But for me?  Fun is hearing my 4 year old niece tell me she loves me, having my 10 year old niece confide her feelings in me, having my 11 year old nephew send me text messages, cuddling with my dogs, and sitting outside on the patio chatting with my family.

Am I boring?  I guess so.

But … am I happy?

Brecky Bug

Certainly.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE FUN??  “Fun is …”

Terrific Tuesday!!

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So WHOA! ok I feel like I’ve been living in a deep dark damp cave for the past week and a half.  My life has consisted of sleeping, coughing and watching really weird movies.  CRAZY!

This post is going to be really short – no for realzzzzz – it is.  All I have to say is what a difference a couple of weeks makes!!  Awhile back I confessed that I’d like to sleep life away and have TRIED! (no I didn’t try and off myself btw – i was just trying to sleep and sleep and sleep) but now that ALL I’VE BEEN ABLE TO DO IS SLEEP – well ..

Merci Beaucoup Karma Gods

yes yes – Thank you!  I don’t want to sleep life away anymore.  I was FORCED to this past week and I realized – the hard way – that sleeping life away is NO WAY TO LIVE.  Tackling adventures as they come and having ENERGY is so much cooler.  :) yes yes – SO MUCH cooler.  :) YAY!

Don’t write essays when you’re drugged up – just a little bit of advice

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When Miss Piggy came to visit last week I should have known that greedy hunk of bacon would overstay her welcome and leave me with the flu.  Hmph!  RUDE!  They say you can’t get the swine flu from eating pigs – and so NEXT TIME maybe I’ll roast good old Piggy next to Kermit, toss in a couple eggs and have myself a regular old green eggs and ham breakfast.  mmmm.  I bet it’d give me LOTS of energy instead of leaving me BED RIDDEN FOR FIVE SOLID DAYS!!!

Yeah so remember all of those parties and plans I had this past weekend?  No?  Oh wait that’s right – I never got to blog about them OR go to them because I had the SWINE FLU!  grr.  extra grrr.

ANYWAY – I had a couple assignments due yesterday and so guess what?  I did them.  :D yay!  Happy days for Daisy!

EXCEPT

I was totally drugged up on flu medicine when I wrote them.  Want to know why this is a problem?  Because I wrote the following in my paper:

Someone else could read this conversation and think that Marie has a crush on Sharon and is being overly strict with her in order to prevent the lesbian soap opera gossip around the office.

It gets better.  I also wrote this:

Sharon could be upset for a multitude of reasons. If we throw out the lesbian soap opera option and only look at the surface, we see that Sharon’s needs and wants are not being heard.

And the sentence that makes my paper the coolest druggy paper ever???

Depending on the reality of proposed behind closed doors antics, there could be a lot of fiery gender battles interwoven in this conversation.

Let’s repeat this one because it’s THAT GOOD:

Depending on the reality of proposed behind closed doors antics, there could be a lot of fiery gender battles interwoven in this conversation.

It’s ok though – I saved the paper with this fantastic conclusion:

Sharon, who could potentially have a crush on her manager Marie, may also be a man hater. If this is the case she would be especially furious that her partner and boss was putting her career on the back burner for a guy. Or if Sharon suspects there is a relationship between Marie and John, she may believe that she is being sexually harassed. Eitherway, Marie was not an effective team-manager when she allowed John to take control of the situation.

Yep – THAT’s what happens when you write a paper while drugged up on flu medicine.

Take a lesson from my mistakes and don’t try this one at home.

Want to know what it’s like to have Swine Flu??

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It comes from nowhere.  Your throat hurts a bit – but you write it off as something else.  It’s SUMMER!!  Like you’re going to get sick in summer.

8 hours later you are coughing.  It starts as a bit of a dry cough and then before you know it your throat is ON FIRE and your cough is productive.  It feels like you are coughing up razor blades.

A night of rest does nothing to mend your ailments.  You have 4 winter blankets covering you – IN SUMMER – but you are still cold.  SHIVERING.  You’re running a 103+ degree fever.

The next morning you wake up coughing more than ever and every nerve ending in your body is sensitive and painful.  It hurts to adjust the blankets.  You can’t think clearly but you finally admit you’re sick.

The Dr. gives you a face mask with orders to wear it for the next 24 hours.  You are still coughing and you wonder if you’ll be alive long enough to pick-up your prescriptions.

When you arrive at the Chemist/Pharmacy you get to witness firsthand how it feels to have people shrink away from you in horror – wearing a face mask is like wearing a badge saying “I have something that could kill you.”  :(

And when you almost faint while standing in line – you get to witness the inner struggle of help/protect.  You’re disoriented, you can’t speak coherently, your head is spinning, your eyes can’t focus – EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU’RE ABOUT TO LOSE IT – everyone wants to help – but no one wants to touch you.  Finally a compromise is reached and a woman shoves a chair under your legs – you get help without anyone touching you.

After recovering/resting at the store, you drive home, pop a billion pills and follow the Dr.’s orders.  “Sleep as much as you can – 24 hours a day if you can.”

The sleeping/pain pills he gave you work but you still wake up every 6 hours to take a new dose.  You’re miserable.  It sucks.  And no one can take care of you because taking care of you puts them at risk.  You have the swine flu.  An incredibly contagious, possibly life threatening illness.  And you’re all on your own.