Category Archives: And I was like … umm … WHAT???

A letter to … dun dun dun … MYSELF. YAY you didn’t kill #3

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Dear Daisy,

Since you obviously refuse to go to sleep on time (this is a bad habit btw) let’s recap the weekend.  What did you do?  Oh wait – don’t tell me.  I remember now.  You went with #3 to a business/dinner party and then went on a little getaway to Palm Beach (in Sydney.)  How was that?

actually – never mind.  Let’s not focus on the negative.  Let’s focus on the positive.  :) YAY!!!  You didn’t murder anyone this weekend.  Hooray for you!!

I’m very proud of you for not killing #3.  Very impressive.  When he told you that he thought you were making stuff up about the latest article you read just because HE didn’t happen to see it himself – I know you were furious.  But good on you for holding your tongue until AFTER you left the party.

And let’s be real.  When he introduced you half the time as “Daisy” and the other half by an incorrect pronunciation of your Christian name.  You DID want to strangle him.  But you didn’t.  And that’s pretty freakin’ sweet.

It was also darn impressive that you didn’t roll your eyes in frustration every time you had to explain to very confused strangers that he calls you by two COMPLETELY different names (ONE OF WHICH HE WASN’T EVEN PRONOUNCING RIGHT!!!!!!!)

[deep breath]

And now, let us please not forget the most impressive feat of the entire weekend. When you didn’t stab him with your fork for suggesting that your opinion on the latest book you’re reading was googled and that you didn’t REALLY read the book.  That took some crazy will power and I’m still impressed by you.

OMGOSH!  I can’t even believe it.  I ALMOST FORGOT that you showed one more admirable restraint. 

Thank you for not sending yourself to jail when:

  • A – he said that even though you’ve never mentioned ANYTHING about his drinking he believes that your abstinence from alcohol is a judgment against him.  (WWHHHAAAATTT????)
  • B – he said that because he can feel this [deep breath Daisy this is about to upset you again] that he can FEEL this JUDGMENT that you never gave and that he is projecting onto you that he now has the right to fuss and complain over any food that you like which is fattening.  (WWHHHHAAATTTT?????)
  • C – while complaining about the fact that you like french fries, he suggested that you will be a porker when you grow up and that he’s concerned you will blow out.   WTefF?
  • D – he said that breakfast burritos are gross even though he has NO IDEA WHAT THE FLIP ONE IS and said that it’s DISGUSTING THAT I WOULD EAT A BREAKFAST BURRITO and that it just goes to show that AMERICANS ARE FAT (even though Aussies are statistically fatter) and that YES I WILL blow out.

Yes dearest Daisy – you are now officially AMAZING.  Because if you could make it through a getaway with #3 after he said all of THAT you must have some SERIOUS mojo/conflict resolution/forgiveness skillz.  HAHA but we both know you didn’t REALLY forgive #3 because when you tried to TELL HIM THAT HE HURT YOUR FEELINGS he MOTHER TRUCKING DISMISSED WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY AND CHANGED THE SUBJECT!!!!! So actually let’s change this …

YOU ARE ONE AMAZING ACTRESS!!!!

And I fully condone operation spite #3 for being a total DB.  What a stupid jerk.

WHO THE FLIP TELLS A GIRL WITH A HISTORY OF diagnosed EATING DISORDERS that HE THINKS SHE’S GOING TO pork out BECAUSE SHE LIKES french fries AND breakfast burritos????

[deep breath - ANOTHER deep breath]

Try and relax – you need your beauty sleep.

xoxo ~Moi

toes = numb, fingers = blue, heart = ice

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My dad wrote the last blog post and he used a SWEAR WORD!!  Omgosh.  I’d tell on him but I haven’t quite figured out how to tattle on your father.  Hmm …. doesn’t dad-ee-O know that we only use FAKE SWEAR WORDS on this blog??

ok so I have a lot of random thoughts today and if it weren’t so MOTHER TRUCKIN GOSH DARN FLIPPIN COLD inside my house right now I’d probably maybe take the time to sort through the randomness and blog it all with love.  But my heart has turned to ice, my toes are numb, my fingers are blue and I created a playlist on my ipod called “It’s so effin cold outside – I need to get warm” filled with booty shakin’ music which gets under my skin so that I would be inspired to move around and be warm.  Pathetic?  North Sydney says “Not pathetic hun, just special.”  Great.  Luv that.

Ooh speaking of North Sydney GUESS WHAT?  I’ve officially called quits on the non-platonic inclinations between the two of us because I am kinda sorta “seeing” #3.  This is great and terrible.  GREAT because it’s surprisingly brought North Sydney and I closer together as friends (I can’t wait to see his son again on Saturday!!) and it’s TERRIBLE because:

OMGOSH! Do you know what this means?  This means I must kind of like – umm – well – like – LIKE #3.   AGH!  And that is TERRIBLE!   I don’t even know if he kind of like – umm – well – like LIKES me in return.  I would suppose that he does at least KIND OF like me but – OOH let’s change the subject.  Sunday after #3 and I went to the rally/protest we headed over to Manly.

manly-1

And it was SO PRETTY!!  There was a Wine and Food Festival going on and people were walking around with wine glasses strapped to their necks. WHHHAAATTT????  You mean you’re actually too lazy to HOLD your wine glass?  You have to WEAR IT around YOUR NECK??

I told #3 I HAD to sneak a pic of it and so he walked right up to the dude I was trying to photo stalk and was like, “Hey she’s from out of town and would LOVE to get a picture of one of those wine glasses.”  So the dude totally was like – well see for yourself:

manly-3

And #3 scored himself some extra bonus points for humoring my whims and for being bold enough to make it happen!  (He also scored points because he made me try oysters and I LIKE THEM. YAY!)

Ok in other news – it’s still freezing cold, my heart is still ice, my fingers are still blue but my toes are a BIT warmer.  :) AAANNNDDDD tomorrow I go back into the dumb Dr.  I’m SO SICK OF DR’s APPOINTMENTS!!!  Remember awhile back when I finally caved and decided I’d “get better” and stop being so obsessed with my weight and image??  – You don’t?  That’s ok.  FYI – I did.  :) And now I’m like WHAT WAS I THINKING???  Getting better sucks and is a crap ton lot of work. No for real – it is.

Oh but here’s another pretty picture.  :)

manly-2

I think I’m mostly only dreading tomorrow because I didn’t do what she asked me to do *guilt* and because it’s at 8:30am and is an hour away.  SUCK!!  But for real – did I REALLY have time to read the book she suggested at the end of the semester?  probably.  But not definitely.  And did I REALLY have time to make appts with the OTHER specialist she wanted me to see?  probably BUT I think my subconscious deliberately lost the number I needed to call.  Oops!  Soooooooo yeah ….  tomorrow starts the next chapter in recovery because tomorrow I have to account for myself.  Suckity suck suck suck.

Textual Misunderstandings – A Cryptic Post (heehee)

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Somebody (I won’t say who but his code name is a #) said he pashed on the roof of one of Sydney’s ICONs (the one where people bellow like LAAAAAAAA or LALALALALALA  in Italian and French and sometimes even English.) Catch my drift?  YEP! Can we spell risky? (yay! I did! – spell it that is.)  Dancing in elevators and pashing on icons gives this man a little bit of “Mmm I like your style.”  Intriguing isn’t he?

Well for you Sydney siders (or those who aren’t) here is a link to LUMINOUS, a little thinga-ma-gig they’re doing where they make the Opera house different colors.  TADA! (I grabbed a pic of it for you who are too lazy to check it out. ;))

01

I suggested to SOMEBODY that we check it out and he was all like, “That could be a bit dangerous” and I was like, “Who said anything about a repeat performance?” AND THEN WE HAD A TEXTUAL MISUNDERSTANDING!!!

Oh boy.  [shake head]

You all know what I meant by that right?  No?  Was that cryptic?  Was it written in American?  Because I really tried to write it in NOT-regionally-dependent-English. AGH!

Here’s WHAT HE READ, “I’m not pashing with you again and I was performing/faking enjoying pashing last time.” wait a minute.  Umm … ???  But didn’t I just say … wait WHHAAATTT???

Oh boy. [shake head and deep breath – hold it – keep holding – exhale)

And they say girls are hypersensitive and read too much into things?? Geez!  He sent a text saying, “You were performing?”

WHHHAAAATTTT??????   So I sent a follow-up “No no. not at all! I meant u rumblin’ on the roof.”

OMGOSH! wowsers.  The Texts of My Life.  Sa-sa-sa-sa-soooooooo much fun.  Or not.

Oh and then today N. Syd (who I talk to like EVERY SINGLE DAY) was like, “K so I’ll see you soon.” And then I was like, “Yeah except actually we don’t have anything planned – so when will that be?” and he was like, “I don’t know because I suggested a night but you already have plans with #3.”  Umm …. WHHHAAAATTTT????  oh.my.gosh.  Well if he wants to be all WHATEVER about it let me just remind the world that I SUGGESTED AN ALTERNATIVE NIGHT TO PLAY w/N. Syd and he said HE WAS FREE THAT NIGHT but refused to “pencil me in” because I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHY.  But for.real. heaven forbid I already have plans on the ORIGINAL night he wanted to play.  Grrr.  8o| jealousy? I don’t THINK so … but come on now – what’s up with that?  (that emoticon makes me laugh btw – that’s why I use it.)

Are you for REAL?? Don’t hate Twitter but please make fun – oh and cool video and sweet pics. :)

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Maybe I’m still pepped up from yesterday’s post but I’m throwing out a little sass today with a list of “Are you for real?”zz

  • I spied with my own little eyes some REALLY SMART GIRL on FB who said in a status comment “another weekend and I would totally of gone”  Totally OF gone?  Maybe she should totally OF gone to skool so she’d be heaps smart likes me is.
  • Ok next – Twitter Haters – are you for real?  I know you SAY you’re too busy to tweet and all because you like have a life and stuff and I know you’re totally saying it like you’re so super self-important and have better things to do with your time – but for real?  GET OVER YOURSELF.
  • And now – Twitter-maker-fun-of-ers?? Please DON’T stop because you provide me with LOLs.  Like this awesomeness:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4te5cZa6sM[/youtube]

  • And yeah … I should probably go to bed now so we’ll stop there.  Except you should see this pic that I got from fannypackantics.com’s post – Purple Rain who apparently got it from fivestrongs.blogspot.com
  • touristcloakAre you for real?  HAHA!  That cloak is magically terrible and terribly AWESOME!
  • Oh can’t forget to add THIS beautiful product that I discovered on “This is why you’re fat” .com.  It needs no comment:
  • food-28

Alright then – I think I can end it there … yeah …

OH WAIT!!!!  Almost forgot this gem too.  One more for your viewing pleasure – picture from gofugyourself.com

57325995

I need those pants.  ;) Good night!!

Umm – Whaaat? Eew kissing is gross!

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HAHA!  Today I was so like “I’ll show him!” and then at the end of the night it was like, “D@@@@@mn – he showed me!”

Look the guy blew my mind with his wit and sarcasm the first night I met him and that same night after hours of conversation he ended the night with a peck – and only a peck – on my lips and walked away.  I was surprised yet happy about it – though BEWILDERED because the dumbdumb guy didn’t ask for my digits.  What?  Yeah he didn’t.

Well time went on and I ran into him again.  He confessed his dumbdumbness regret about the digits and then whisked me off my feet.  Pretty literally.  AANND he took no time at all to turn the peck from the time before into a little badaboom vroom vroom and we totally pashed.  [wait - no reprimands yet please.]

THEN we saw each other a few times and he pulled a DTR on me.  WHAT?  A DTR is a “Define the Relationship” talk where you decide if the badaboom really has enough vroom vroom to go anywhere. I was FURIOUS.  I had prevented and managed to escape any and all forms of DTRs for the past 2 years.  And then what – I go on like 2 or 3 dates with this dude and he’s asking me where it’s going?  Umm – No thank you please.  Go away.

So I told him I didn’t see it going anywhere and he was like, “That’s good because I was worried you may be looking for something and I really want to take this slow” and then he slowly faded from my daily life.  Hmm … surprise surprise right?  Who wouldn’t slowly disappear after what I said?  (let’s NOT mention how I also pushed away CC-450 by telling him I was dating tons of people right now even though I WAS dating significantly less because I really really liked CC-450 even though he APPARENTLY didn’t like me and ok? thanks! xo)

I’ve got issues!  I know!

So blah blah blah – I met up with this “wow” when I got back from holiday and he was so NOT wow.  In fact he was a total DB.  To the EXTREME.  And then FM forbade me from seeing him again.  Until finally TODAY I decided it’s been long enough and I could see him again.  :) But I strictly or not so strictly decided I was going to just be his FRIEND - a NO KISSING friend (we were always JUST friends anyway – whatever.)

Well I was doing well when I saw him.  He went in for the customary kiss on the cheek greeting but wait – hold up – he wasn’t going for my cheek – umm … what do I do?  umm … pause – awkwardness – dart left, dart right – darn darn – why did he just move when I went for his cheek?

UGH!  Look I TRIED to go for his cheek.  I did.  I promise.  But he was NOT going to let that happen.  So I got a smooch.  Which is WHATEVER because I KNOW he does that with his other friends – wait what?  Yeah – he’s like a kiss slut and NO that doesn’t mean he and I are destined to be together.

So then we had a lovely dinner.  We had a lovely chat after dinner and before we knew it we had talked for HOURS.  And then he drove me home (but in the American way which means we got into his car and drove to my house and not in the AUSSIE way which means something very different.)  At my house I said goodbye and went in for a kiss on the cheek again – because I’m strong like that :) and THAT was when he smooched me AGAIN! And THEN I pulled away and he stayed there.  And stayed there.  And stayed there.  And I was like, “Umm …”

Ok just kidding it was more like I went in for the cheek and didn’t feel bad at ALL when he went for the lips and then I pulled away but noticed he stayed so I went back.  hee hee.  I’m bad I know.

BUT GET THIS!  That’s it.  Yeah.  I know!

And then he asked me to come do some work for him on the side next week. Umm … ???      ????

Well alrighty then – that’s fan-flippin-tastic. We’ve gone from friends to friends who pash to friends who don’t talk to friends who smooch to business??  Wait – but that’s not what I had in the cards!!!  OOOH!  I got PLAYED!

Yes-sir-ee-bob I was played.

And I liked it. :)