Category Archives: When I should have gone to sleep instead of writing this post

Umm – Whaaat? Eew kissing is gross!

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HAHA!  Today I was so like “I’ll show him!” and then at the end of the night it was like, “D@@@@@mn – he showed me!”

Look the guy blew my mind with his wit and sarcasm the first night I met him and that same night after hours of conversation he ended the night with a peck – and only a peck – on my lips and walked away.  I was surprised yet happy about it – though BEWILDERED because the dumbdumb guy didn’t ask for my digits.  What?  Yeah he didn’t.

Well time went on and I ran into him again.  He confessed his dumbdumbness regret about the digits and then whisked me off my feet.  Pretty literally.  AANND he took no time at all to turn the peck from the time before into a little badaboom vroom vroom and we totally pashed.  [wait - no reprimands yet please.]

THEN we saw each other a few times and he pulled a DTR on me.  WHAT?  A DTR is a “Define the Relationship” talk where you decide if the badaboom really has enough vroom vroom to go anywhere. I was FURIOUS.  I had prevented and managed to escape any and all forms of DTRs for the past 2 years.  And then what – I go on like 2 or 3 dates with this dude and he’s asking me where it’s going?  Umm – No thank you please.  Go away.

So I told him I didn’t see it going anywhere and he was like, “That’s good because I was worried you may be looking for something and I really want to take this slow” and then he slowly faded from my daily life.  Hmm … surprise surprise right?  Who wouldn’t slowly disappear after what I said?  (let’s NOT mention how I also pushed away CC-450 by telling him I was dating tons of people right now even though I WAS dating significantly less because I really really liked CC-450 even though he APPARENTLY didn’t like me and ok? thanks! xo)

I’ve got issues!  I know!

So blah blah blah – I met up with this “wow” when I got back from holiday and he was so NOT wow.  In fact he was a total DB.  To the EXTREME.  And then FM forbade me from seeing him again.  Until finally TODAY I decided it’s been long enough and I could see him again.  :) But I strictly or not so strictly decided I was going to just be his FRIEND - a NO KISSING friend (we were always JUST friends anyway – whatever.)

Well I was doing well when I saw him.  He went in for the customary kiss on the cheek greeting but wait – hold up – he wasn’t going for my cheek – umm … what do I do?  umm … pause – awkwardness – dart left, dart right – darn darn – why did he just move when I went for his cheek?

UGH!  Look I TRIED to go for his cheek.  I did.  I promise.  But he was NOT going to let that happen.  So I got a smooch.  Which is WHATEVER because I KNOW he does that with his other friends – wait what?  Yeah – he’s like a kiss slut and NO that doesn’t mean he and I are destined to be together.

So then we had a lovely dinner.  We had a lovely chat after dinner and before we knew it we had talked for HOURS.  And then he drove me home (but in the American way which means we got into his car and drove to my house and not in the AUSSIE way which means something very different.)  At my house I said goodbye and went in for a kiss on the cheek again – because I’m strong like that :) and THAT was when he smooched me AGAIN! And THEN I pulled away and he stayed there.  And stayed there.  And stayed there.  And I was like, “Umm …”

Ok just kidding it was more like I went in for the cheek and didn’t feel bad at ALL when he went for the lips and then I pulled away but noticed he stayed so I went back.  hee hee.  I’m bad I know.

BUT GET THIS!  That’s it.  Yeah.  I know!

And then he asked me to come do some work for him on the side next week. Umm … ???      ????

Well alrighty then – that’s fan-flippin-tastic. We’ve gone from friends to friends who pash to friends who don’t talk to friends who smooch to business??  Wait – but that’s not what I had in the cards!!!  OOOH!  I got PLAYED!

Yes-sir-ee-bob I was played.

And I liked it. :)

My Pretty Sucky Essay and the Ugly Dandelion

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It’s done!!!  hip-hip-hooray!!  It SUCKED.  Yes it SUCKED.  Big time.  Super big time.  However – it’s done!!! and that means I have more time to do other stuff.  :) Here’s the link to the sucky glory of my essay (probably DON’T click HERE)  I haven’t proofread it.  honest to death – in fact – I haven’t even read it.  I wrote it – and then sent it WITHOUT reading it. Not a smart thing to do.  But I’m trying to live life on the edge. :) anyway … it was 1500 words and I resented EVERY SINGLE WORD which is why I haven’t read it over – but my mom said she’d read it – even though she doesn’t want to. :)

NOW BACK TO LIFE.

I have to tell you that I wrote this super great post for today – and then I sent it to my mom and she LOL-d.  And not because she’s my mom – but because it was funny.  :) :) :) BUT THEN SHE SAID TO NOT POST IT – say what?  Yeah – she thinks it would be best to wait because it’s a little TOO current.  So I’ll wait – ohIdon’tknow – a week.  Yeah – a week.  Maybe next week I can tell you about dumb boys.

In the meantime I should tell you a different story.

ONCE  UPON A TIME (oh this will take forever … remember the story of the ugly duckling?  Substitute a dandelion for the duckling and a daisy for the swan and you’ve got the jist of the story. ;) )  Ok so I just spared you 90% of the story.  :) WAHOO!!  I’m being economical.  :)

The part you missed was when this ugly dandelion/tom boy/ NERD was like 10 years old she was diagnosed with asthma.  But it was a hassle and the inhaler WASN’T COOL so she couldn’t be fussed and then FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT!

Fast forward to Daisy time. I went to the Dr. because some days I can jog-it-up left and right and others I feel like I’m going to kill over after 1 minute!  Not cool.  So the Dr. was like, “Hmm – that’s strange.” So he took FOUR vials of blood and gave me a heart x-ray (this was last week) – everything came back normal except he said I need to eat more red meat – and THEN he said, “No one in your family has asthma do they?”

DARN DARN DARN DARN DARN

I smiled.  “Umm … well … I was diagnosed with it when I was like 10 but surely I don’t have it anymore right?”

[long pause.]

Let’s skip the part where he reacted to my news and I felt dumb.  :) We DEFINITELY can skip that part.

Well anyway … he made me do some dumb breathing test at the lab – which I failed – and now I have an inhaler.  LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME.

But the good news is that I go back in one month to see if my daily treatments help.  I’m hoping he’ll tell me it was all a misunderstanding. :) Hey – it could happen.  Sure the asthma thing explains a whole lot – but I’m not convinced.  AND if I fail the breathing test AGAIN in a month I can be like “See?  I DON’T have it – I just have poor breathing test technique.”  :) -IT COULD HAPPEN-

It’s official – I’ve hit my late 20s

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When may I start lying about my age?  I guess it’s never too soon to start is it?  Hmm … what age do I want to be this year?  I don’t think 27 is the age I want to be right now.  Why does it even matter?  I suppose it doesn’t.  Or does it?  I’m really not sure.

I can tell you that I never imagined that I’d turn 27 in a foreign country.  And I always imagined I’d feel much more grown up by the time I became ancient and ohsowise in my late 20s.  Shouldn’t I have a full-on, full-blown career by 27?  Shouldn’t I be living in New York City?  Ah well … Sydney’s not too shabby.  ;)

So – what am I doing to celebrate today?  First I’m going to go to sleep (staying up past midnight every night is a terribly immature and mid 20s thing.)  And then if I’m lucky, fate will be kind and I’ll be able to snap a pic of that macho fannypack strutting man at the Junction.  Oh if only I could be so lucky …

Anywho – since I’m only a few minutes into my late 20s I don’t have anything profound to share with you yet … maybe by tonight when I’ve been ohsowise for 12+ hours I’ll have something wonderfully fantastic to share…  But so as not to disappoint – please allow me to share a profound thought and a few beautiful pictures from my Sunday morning walk:

Profound Thought – “You are what you eat – and tonight I’m passionfruit gelato.” haha!  Just teasing – how about this:

Man makes plans; God laughs.

Quite a fitting thought for me on my birthday, yes?

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Can you believe this view?

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Have I mentioned how much I love TAKING pictures?  Not just of myself either.  :)

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We were out walking for 4 hours today.

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Which is good because I have like 5-10 kg (10-15 lbs) to lose!!!

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Speaking of weight … I decided to give up my self-consciousness for a day…

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And notso rocked a bikini at the beach yesterday …

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I felt super self-conscious and was relieved to get in the water – EXCEPT

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It’s been awhile since I wore a bikini like that so I wasn’t prepared for the waves and …

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I learned the hard way that if you’re not careful, you’ll 1-butt-cheek-flash people.

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And then I learned the hard way that big waves like the ones yesterday ALSO can make you accidentally 2-butt-cheek-flash people (or “moon” – whichever you prefer)

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And then I learned the hard way that these same waves can make you do the “no-bikini-bottom” flash …

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And last but not least, I learned those waves ALSO make you boob-flash people.

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Wow – ok – so yay for Bondi!  They got more than they bargained for yesterday.  But it’s all good.  I was on the Gay Side of the beach (yes – it’s true – there is a Gay Side and they are VERY proud if it) so even though I was flashing people left and right (on accident) no one was perving.  Haha!  Except for ME – I’ve never seen so many perfectly chiseled and hot men in one place in my life.  The Gay Side of the beach is now the side for me.

Another First Day of School – and I’m a cougar??

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Today started shortly after midnight.  (yeah yeah – I know.)  But you see I had gone to bed on time!  BEFORE midnight – for once!!!  But little good that did me because I was awoken shorty after the time when I should have turned into a pumpkin.  It was my toe.  Something bit me and my toe was burning.  Probably something that looked like this!

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And NoooOoooOooo this is not a wikipedia picture – I took this one all by myself – TODAY. :) I didn’t die (yeah yeah – I know) and I finally fell back asleep, only to be woken by a buzzing.  Bzzzz.  Killer spiders and now killer moths AGAIN!  Apparently announcing my woes last night in my blog resulted in their recurrence.  (Wait – Daisy – do moths actually buzz? – I don’t know – but what else could be buzzing in my ear in the middle of the pitch black night?  Don’t answer that – I may be less scared of moths than whatever your answer is.)

Ok so I was up and at it by 6:30 this morning and you can imagine just how chipper I was after a night of almost no sleep.  Superduperchipper.  Though my mood lightened a bit when I caught the early bus which ended up being slow; HOWEVER it was filled with hotties.  Superduperhotties.  Man oh man – if only I had understood that correct train/bus time is critical for superduperhottie stalking I could have filled up my name page with like 40 more boys!!!

My first class was through this door.

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Did I mention that I’ve switched from the Uni of Syd to the Ghetto Jungle?  I just hope they have hip hop inside.  Hip hop makes everything better.  :) No seriously – it makes everything better.  Even ice cream.  And pancakes.

Ok – that was weird.  Moving on!  I liked class number 1, I also liked class number 2 and I thoroughly enjoyed these local hang outs:

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I noticed a couple interesting things on campus today.

  1. My skirt was too short – but not as short as everyone else’s dresses and shorts.
  2. I look as young or younger than many of the undergraduate students.
  3. I’m about to turn 27 and there are 19-22 year old men/boys eying me.  I think this makes me a cougar?  Hmm … I suppose I’m ok with that.  FM’s GF and I discussed (outrageously!) that maybe to celebrate my entrance into the late twenties that I should date someone from every age between 19 to 26 before 2010.   That’s quite a lofty goal – 8 men in one year – but considering I went on 7 dates with 7 different men in only 6 days back in January 2009 (yes – it’s true) – I may be able to swing it.  ;) AGH!  I’m a shocka!!!  The only difficulty with this “aspiration” is that I still have a stupid crush on CC+4 even though I know I’m being ridiculous by still having it – and since I’ve decided to look for substance I just don’t see how I can look for substance AND date hot boys based on their age.  Darn it – there goes that fab idea out the window!
  4. Spicy Salmon rolls are NOT as good as Salmon and Avocado rolls.
  5. And if I swing it correctly – lunch time could become my new networking/social endeavor.

Ok so this post is already outrageously long!  So I’ll sum up the rest of the day with a couple pics:

First Day of School Picture – I’m not sure what I’m listening to – probably one of the kick-A songs that CC+4 sent.  The “Hot Thing” one was sweet – but “Pop the Glock” was even better.  There’s also a chance I was listening to some Meiko – I love her songs “Reasons to Love you” and “Piano Song.”

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What a crappy pic eh?  Oh well – on to the next.  First semester I met Bruce -  he is a kindred spirit and a life saver!!!!  Pic from Semester 1:

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Pic from semester 2: Bruce says I look younger … but I’m pretty sure my name isn’t Benjamin Button.

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It was amazing to catch up with Bruce – he is like a wise fortune teller.  Except he doesn’t predict the future.    He just has an uncanny knack for really understanding the HERE and NOW.

Next I saw the following sign – wteff?  and I learned another latin dance.

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So there you have it.  A VERY long day.  Very very long.  I didn’t get home until midnight and feel like I haven’t slept for days.  I am SOOOOOO crashing tomorrow – and maybe doing some reading on the beach.  Which btw – I have some great points to make on the book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” – so maybe I’ll get to that this week.  Oh and I haven’t forgotten – I need to post my cricket video!  YAY!!!

Does anyone else salsa dance?  How long did it take you to learn?  I seriously suck.

GO UTES!!! Boys suck.

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Do you hate people who say “Woot!  Woot!”??  I kinda do.  ;) But probably only because they spell it like that.  Don’t get me wrong – I totally cheered today when the University of Utah Utes won the Sugar Bowl – but I absolutely did NOT cheer with a “T” on the end.  (Oh and btw – I almost spelled it Suga without the R and that’s a big problem – that’s the Aussie way.  AGH!)

So I was right about LOSER (that’s his new name) – I’ve added our text convo at the end of this post for your drama/gossip pleasure.  It was so awesome it made we want to “woot!  woot!” forty times in a row.  If you missed yesterday’s post click here.

Want to know what Crysta (my BFF) wrote on my facebook wall?  “Nice snowman.  Where are his eyes, mouth and nose?”  Say what?  You mean those three completely deformed globs of snow balancing precariously on each other don’t count as a snowman?

Want to know what my mom said to me after watching my snowman video?  “I feel like Chloe was neglected in your video and that you are showing favoritism to Duchess.”  So mom – just for you – Chloe.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOLiFH_fOp4]

EEW!  Gross!  My dog was on my bed?  Sick!!!!  How do I live with myself?  ;)

Oh and here is a great picture (not!) to show you just how AWESOME today has been – and yes I DID stick my finger in an electrical socket to get my hair like that.  I call this picture “Today is so Gee Whiz Awesome.”  And it is – because on any other day there is NO WAY I’d ever post such a crappy picture – but TODAY?  Anything goes.  Including LOSER!  He’s going right out the door to the dog house – no no – not the dog house – the PIG house.  My dogs live in style.

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TEXT CONVERSATION WITH LOSER:

Daisy – Hey Sexy! ) What time were you thinking?

Loser – I’m not sure.

Daisy – Not sure?  lol.  Do you want me to play it by ear on a FRI night?  I usually like to make plans … ) so if you have other plans …

Loser – Yeah let’s play it by ear.  I’m moving today and then there’s ____’s party so I’m not sure what time will work.  Sorry.

(side note – _____’s party was a game day party – it wouldn’t and didn’t get over until after 10:00 PM! – so his plans were to see me AFTER 10:00 PM!!! – not cool.)

Daisy – lol.  I was saying I like to have plans because I DON’T play fri nights by ear. Xx.  )

Loser – (TWO HOURS LATER) – Oh I ment (yes he spelled it wrong) to say if you need to make other plans that’s cool.  Sorry.

Daisy – Oh no worries.  ) I think a bunch of us are meeting up for the game and then going out dancing or to other parties after.  If you are free later you should join us.

Loser – Ok.

PHONE CALL – not to ME -  Loser has his roommate call Matty Matt and ask which game party we’re going to.  Matty Matt tells him and then Voila!  Loser decides to NOT show up.  Which ended up being pretty sweet because the party was SOOOOO fun and it would have been AWKWARD.