Life is more fun with love

Posted on July 24, 2009 by Daisy

After -3 told me he loved me, asked me to imagine what it would be like to be pregnant with his kids, suggested that we could “mix our genes” one day, and sent me $350 worth of Victoria’s Secret AND THEN DUMPED ME 4 DAYS LATER!!! I decided to spend an additional week in Utah mending my broken heart. Ok ok – mending my wounded pride.

ALRIGHT FINE!!! Also mending my broken heart. Stupid -3. I actually DID imagine having kids with him, imagined a life with him – blah blah blah sappy sappy sappy – let’s just say – I liked my imaginings. And now?? Now I imagine how great I will look in that sexy lingerie parading in front of a mirror – or maybe (mom just skip the next sentence) MAYBE even ONE DAY parading it in front of a hot rebound. HAHA! -3 had asked for pictures and then when he DUMPED me he very astutely observed that “I probably won’t be getting those pictures now will I?” NO. Haha – actually I think he will!! A couple sexy pics (NOT SCANDALOUS THOUGH – I’m from UT) wouldn’t hurt him would it? In fact I think it would be incredibly gracious of me – a nice way to say “Thank you!” and “Please feel sick at what you are now missing out on.”

Oopsie! Did I just say that out loud? NOPE! But I did type it on a public blog so I think that’s CLOSE enough.

Anyway – back to the point. I got a little distracted for a second talking about the old man (did I mention he was 42?) Anyway … because I decided to stay an extra week in Utah I’ve taken this opportunity to spend as much QUALITY time as possible. :) YAY!!! I love quality time. Quality time = time with my dogs, time with my nieces and nephew and time with my family and close friends. YAY!!!

BTW!!! HUGE UPDATE!!! Everything is back to normal with my family. I heart them with my ENTIRE HEART (and always have.) And I hear I have a pretty hefty heart so that’s a LOT. :) And it’s been a wonderful dream to spend time with all of them like we used to before things went a little sour. Nothing better to heal a heart than a little unconditional family love. oxoxoxoxo

Here’s a little video of some of my family – we’re just being silly and having fun. This is what I call quality time. :)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjBa-0l3BGM[/youtube]

The L word, Pics, CC+4, #3 and Love really IS a battlefield

Posted on July 13, 2009 by Daisy

It’s late at night and I’m going to overshare. It’s not that I don’t recognize that I should create rules for myself – like maybe “If you know you are tired and are aware that you could be admitting/confessing information that may be best to NOT share on a public website – DON’T!!” because I totally do. I KNOW I should be careful when I’m tired but at the same time when I’m tired I can’t be bothered to follow rules. GASP! Yeah yeah – I know – I’m in love with rules but tiredness makes me EXTRA apathetic.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?? *big smiley face*

It means I’m going to give you a debriefing on CC+4, #3 and that new Jordin Spark’s craptastic song that I downloaded because well – LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD – oh and I’m also going to explain why I am at war.

THAT’S RIGHT! I’m AT WAR!!! … or at least my heart is …

LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD

The song says “Don’t try to explain your mind I know what’s happening here. One minute it’s love and suddenly it’s like the battlefield. … I never meant to start a war.”

I’m trying to decide how to make this long story short – ah ha! OUTLINE!!!

#3 calls and quizzes me on my “sportiness”
I wonder why the BLEEP he’s telling me he wants to get me into the gym
#3 confesses he thinks I’m wonderful
I say, “Yeah except you think I’m fat.”
#3 FREAKS OUT!! He just wanted to spend quality time with me
I think “oopsie!”
#3 decides we don’t understand each other and wants to get to know the “real me”
#3 tries to upset me
I get upset
#3 drops the L bomb

#3 DROPS THE L BOMB!!!!!!

And then I say, “What? No I don’t think so. You can’t drop that on me right now while you’re PURPOSEFULLY TRYING TO MAKE ME UPSET!!”

He blah blah blahs some more and his phone dies. And I’m left bewildered.

And then I went boating and well – see for yourself. Me w/CC+4.

max-and-kerilynn-3 max-and-kerilynn-2

A picture speaks a thousand words. And this pic in color – well – it speaks volumes. Volumes and volumes. It’s a great picture but I can’t go down this road again. It hurt too much last time. He crushed me when suddenly stopped logging onto skype, stopped responding to emails – he deserted me. And yet the feelings were instantly rekindled when I got home … but I don’t work that way.

I CAN’T TURN MY HEART OFF AND ON LIKE THAT!!! And seeing him again … I can’t … I can’t. I’m slipping – I have feelings for him. But …

I can’t. I really really can’t. My heart can’t take it. Not now – not when I’m supposed to leave in a week. Not when #3 is dropping the L bomb on me. Not when – well – not now.

My life is in Syndey now right? I live there. It’s where I’m supposed to be.

right ?

And I REALLY like #3.

So CC+4 – well … maybe I need to let him go. Figuratively of course. I need to tell my heart to let him go. I need to focus on what’s REAL. And although my feelings for him are most definitely real – CC+4 has not done anything to lead me to believe he has any intentions for long term. And if I can fully let him go – my heart will have no strings holding it back from #3.

I guess that settles things. I have feelings for #3. I have feelings for CC+4. #3 has feelings for me. CC+4 – ?? #3 wants a relationship. CC+4 and I live 8,000 miles apart. And now I just have to convince myself that spending time with CC+4 will do nothing but make the break in my heart more painful when I leave. It’s time to let go.

But … if that’s the case – why does my heart feel this way??

toes = numb, fingers = blue, heart = ice

Posted on June 10, 2009 by Daisy

My dad wrote the last blog post and he used a SWEAR WORD!! Omgosh. I’d tell on him but I haven’t quite figured out how to tattle on your father. Hmm …. doesn’t dad-ee-O know that we only use FAKE SWEAR WORDS on this blog??

ok so I have a lot of random thoughts today and if it weren’t so MOTHER TRUCKIN GOSH DARN FLIPPIN COLD inside my house right now I’d probably maybe take the time to sort through the randomness and blog it all with love. But my heart has turned to ice, my toes are numb, my fingers are blue and I created a playlist on my ipod called “It’s so effin cold outside – I need to get warm” filled with booty shakin’ music which gets under my skin so that I would be inspired to move around and be warm. Pathetic? North Sydney says “Not pathetic hun, just special.” Great. Luv that.

Ooh speaking of North Sydney GUESS WHAT? I’ve officially called quits on the non-platonic inclinations between the two of us because I am kinda sorta “seeing” #3. This is great and terrible. GREAT because it’s surprisingly brought North Sydney and I closer together as friends (I can’t wait to see his son again on Saturday!!) and it’s TERRIBLE because:

OMGOSH! Do you know what this means? This means I must kind of like – umm – well – like – LIKE #3. AGH! And that is TERRIBLE! I don’t even know if he kind of like – umm – well – like LIKES me in return. I would suppose that he does at least KIND OF like me but – OOH let’s change the subject. Sunday after #3 and I went to the rally/protest we headed over to Manly.

manly-1

And it was SO PRETTY!! There was a Wine and Food Festival going on and people were walking around with wine glasses strapped to their necks. WHHHAAATTT???? You mean you’re actually too lazy to HOLD your wine glass? You have to WEAR IT around YOUR NECK??

I told #3 I HAD to sneak a pic of it and so he walked right up to the dude I was trying to photo stalk and was like, “Hey she’s from out of town and would LOVE to get a picture of one of those wine glasses.” So the dude totally was like – well see for yourself:

manly-3

And #3 scored himself some extra bonus points for humoring my whims and for being bold enough to make it happen! (He also scored points because he made me try oysters and I LIKE THEM. YAY!)

Ok in other news – it’s still freezing cold, my heart is still ice, my fingers are still blue but my toes are a BIT warmer. AAANNNDDDD tomorrow I go back into the dumb Dr. I’m SO SICK OF DR’s APPOINTMENTS!!! Remember awhile back when I finally caved and decided I’d “get better” and stop being so obsessed with my weight and image?? – You don’t? That’s ok. FYI – I did. And now I’m like WHAT WAS I THINKING??? Getting better sucks and is a crap ton lot of work. No for real – it is.

Oh but here’s another pretty picture.

manly-2

I think I’m mostly only dreading tomorrow because I didn’t do what she asked me to do *guilt* and because it’s at 8:30am and is an hour away. SUCK!! But for real – did I REALLY have time to read the book she suggested at the end of the semester? probably. But not definitely. And did I REALLY have time to make appts with the OTHER specialist she wanted me to see? probably BUT I think my subconscious deliberately lost the number I needed to call. Oops! Soooooooo yeah …. tomorrow starts the next chapter in recovery because tomorrow I have to account for myself. Suckity suck suck suck.

3 nights with #3 plus pics – is he my Rob P? or just a DB?

Posted on June 1, 2009 by Daisy

I’m pretty sure we can call today like the LAZIEST day in all of history pour moi. SOOOoooo I’m going to attempt to put in a little extra UMPH in this post to ease my nagging conscience. Hope it works!! (and I KNOW you liked that little french action in the first sentence. ) Oh and BTW NO PICS OF #3 ARE IN THIS POST. hee hee. But there ARE plenty of pics.

Night 1

went well. We encountered a bit of the social crowd gossip by appearing together at a social crowd function but we avoided all conversational attempts to define our being there together. (and my oh my did people try to get us to talk about it!!!!) We snuck out of dinner early and walked around the Opera House – which looked like this:

He was charming and I didn’t hesitate to agree to seeing him on night 2. Score? (who scores things? apparently me.) He passed with distinction (or like an A-/B+.)

Night 2

also went well though he went to get “food” and came back with bread and cheese (which he does actually know I can’t eat. Hmm….) But the rest of the night was great and he ended up getting another pass with distinction – he threw in some extra credit at the end by being trustworthy and teaching me about some interesting conceptual ideas. We parted on Night 2 knowing we would see each other night 3 but it wasn’t actually set that we would go to the night 3 function together.

Pic of Bertie Blackman Concert:

Night 3

was amazing fantastic and ohsogreat happy cuddles and butterflies! And this morning BEFORE I recapped night 3 with my mom – I was all like #3 could be my Rob P. – SAWEET! Yay! happyjoy!

But then as I was recapping with my mom, hindsight made my vision a little more clear and I realized #3 could possibly be a D.B.!!! The jury’s out on this one …

But here are a couple pics from the party:

This is one of #3′s friends. He and I were booted out of the party during dinner.

This is on the way down the lift after being booted out of the party during dinner. I’m like SO excited can you tell?

BFA and Moi after dinner (I wasn’t booted out for good! Just couldn’t eat the dinner.)

LUV dressing up!!

I feel like it would make me less lazy if I told you WHY #3 was a DB but I typed it up and it was so bad that I decided I’d let it sit for a couple days first. He and I are in that really awkward phase where we’re seeing each other 2-3 times a week but we’re not officially TOGETHER and so public appearances together are a BIG SUCKS! Combine that with the fact that he was a SUPER DRINKER for the first couple hours (until I guess he decided to step up his game and sober up for me) – well – yeah – he said some REALLY stupid things. 8o| Oh and I just LUVED how he dropped my hand on the street when we ran into fellow party goers. Umm hello?!? It’s not like they didn’t see we were holding hands anyway – and dropping my hand and shoving it in his pocket was a DB thing to do. But HAHA! he got his Karmic Justice when these same people wanted to share a cab and discovered that I was getting out at his house with him. He couldn’t hide THAT!!!!

What are we – in JUNIOR HIGH?? HE DROPPED MY HAND! Not cool. Soooo not cool.

Neither was the fact that he didn’t up his PDA until AFTER he had scoped out the party. Though to be fair – he arranged for us to arrive together – and leave together – and left dinner early to be an outcast with me and his friend … so yeah – the jury is still out on this one.

OOH but I did break a few drunken hearts. Because although HE may have wanted to HIDE I was SO HAPPY that he could save me from the WAY-TOO-forward drunken advances of his friends. So so nice – I miss my BFF Matty Matt. He would ALWAYS save me and it was nice that #3 could as well.

Ok – here’s the gossip from the weekend

Posted on May 26, 2009 by Daisy

Want to know what had my mom LOLing for AGES last night at around 1:10 am my time (which was around 9:10am her time the day prior)?? This little juicy gossip for you. Woot! Woot! But FIRST let’s dish the scoop from the weekend.

Friday night I played with North Sydney. North Sydney who? Here he is in 141 characters or less:

He’s hot, funny, hypersensitive, self-absorbed, ambitious, has conflicted feelings 4 me & says we’re “friends with non-platonic inclinations”

So it was great fun to see him if you consider the fact that he “shares” with me all of the time how he’s let me into his life so much more than other people – and I “get” him and can “diffuse” him and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH – oh and he finds me attractive and enjoys kissing me (eew gross!) but we’re just FRIENDS. Which is fine with me – really truly – but I don’t think FRIENDS should kiss. SOOOooooo I think I’m going to have to put the X on the non-platonic inclinations. We can be besties/BFFs and that will be FUN – YAY! but no kissing.

Saturday night I played with North Sydney again. North Sydney who? JUST TEASING! Same as above. We went and saw Star Trek and I had to take a COAT into the theater with me because it gets THAT cold in there. EVERY TIME. Yeah I’m serious – I pack a coat every time I go to the movies. And NO you sly little devils out there – cuddling is NOT an option to keep warm because 1 – we’re JUST FRIENDS and 2 – the stupid theaters don’t have those adjustable arm rests.

Next up! Sunday. After dinner with N. Syd on Saturday and his suggesting that I should give #3 a chance – #3 who? oh boy – here we go again. #3 in 141 characters or less:

He’s hot, funny, super duper intelligent, way too motivated, incredibly energetic, older, spontaneous, and very intriguing – but a big drinker

YES N. Sydney DID suggest I should give #3 a chance – even though we (N. Syd and I) totally pashed the day prior. (pash = make out) Umm … right. ok so NO MORE NON-PLATONIC INCLINATIONS. Grrrrr. 8o| (that was JUST FOR YOU MOM! oxox)

ANYWHO after work on Sunday I caught up with My Flattie (she’s so cute! and her BF is my Agony Uncle – SO CUTE!) and Uncle Agony suggested I send a text to #3 – yada yada yada – I ended up catching up with #3 for dinner HOWEVER because I had HOMEWORK I only agreed to meet him because he said he’d like to help me with my essay.

YES I WAS SKEPTICAL TOO!!! Like WHAT? Seriously – he wants to help me with my homework?? Right – and I went and saw Witch Mountain only because it looked realistic – it wasn’t because THE ROCK who is oh so hunky and fine now that he’s lean and trim was in it – no no no. Uh huh – yeah right. So why did I agree? Because he made a convincing argument and happens to have firsthand knowledge in my area of study.

Dinner ended up not being dinner – apparently #3 had already eaten – WHAT?? But that’s ok because I got served piping hot chips (french fries) by the absolute most SMOKIN’ Canadian fire brigade dude. When we left Mr. May (fire brigade) made sure to give me a personal invitation to come in ANYTIME and #3 commented that he was surprised Mr. May didn’t find a way to slip me his number. (big sigh – he was so dreamy.)

Then #3 was like, “Come back to my place and we’ll actually WRITE your essay” and he was so super duper enthusiastic about it and I was like, “Umm it’s 9:30 pm – Yeah right x 100″ and he was like, “No for real” and I was like, “Not a chance under the moon” and he was like, “I swear.” and this is the Daisy abbreviated version of the conversation – I don’t think #3 has ever used the words “no for real” in his life. ANYWAY – I took his solemn oath that we’d write THREE PAGES of my essay if I went back to his house. STOP LAUGHING!!!

No seriously. STOP LAUGHING. And yes – this is why my mom laughed too. Why? Because I DID go back to his house and we DID work on my essay. YES. That’s right. We worked on my essay. And then I went home. Yep!! HE WAS SO MUCH HELP!!! He gave me a killer dramatic opening for the paper as well as a bangin’ closing line. AND if that doesn’t score him triple quadruple double brownie points – I don’t know what would.

I’d say if this were Super Mario he scored a 1up – and it makes Mr. May look like Mr. Maybe Can’t Compete with #3.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Oqx2GqUvs4[/youtube]

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