Category Archives: Did I just admit that?

Daisy says the Darndest Things days 20-31

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It’s been awhile.  Like over-a-week-awhile.  Like the longest-I’ve-ever-gone-without-blogging-while.  Not a good thing.  What’s happened in the last 11 days??  A whole lot of not a whole lot.  Yeah – that’s right.

First I had an assignment due – a big one.  That was due 2 weeks ago.  I still haven’t handed it in.  Things haven’t been going as smoothly as hoped.

Day 20, 21 & 22- when I was still optimistic about my essay

20/365

21/365

22/265

Day 23 and 24 – Remember how I decided no more kissing North Sydney because HE IS A COMMITMENTPHOBE who FREAKS OUT every time HE kisses me!?!?  Yeah – that didn’t last long.  And then I went to my international adviser and she told me that she struggling to try and work with me because I’m smarter than her and my life is very complicated.  Gee – that’s encouraging. (insert glare.)

23/365

24/365

Day 25 and 26 -  I think it was about THIS point in my life when I discovered North Sydney didn’t remember ANYTHING about our meeting, his “stalk you later” phone calls and our very brief romance a year ago.  I very bluntly called this to his attention. :)  He tried to kiss and make up – I rolled my eyes and laughed.  Then I tried to do my essay and fell asleep over and over again.  Oh and I discovered I can tell the difference between fresh and not-as-fresh M&Ms. oh yes.

My angry face hee hee 25/365

Chocolate on My Lips 26/365

Day 27 – I went and met with the adviser again and this time she was more encouraging.  We determined that I’m having issues with essay writing because of my first semester as a graduate student when I had a super nasty teacher who used her dislike of my nationality to influence the marks she gave me.  As a straight 95% and above student my whole life – I lost all confidence in my ability to be a student after I received her grades and this lack of confidence is a detriment to my current studies.  :(  We agreed that discrimination and racism are out of my control and I need to try and move forward.  I decided to study in the park under the bright and beautiful sun.

Studying in the Park 27/365

Day 28 -  I actually went to class – instead of staying home sick like I did the rest of the week.  Class was REALLY good – I’m in the process of animating a girl on a swing set.  It’s a lot of fun and I can do it for hours and hours without getting bored.  A BIG relief from essay writing.

Flip Flop Season!! 28/365

Day 29 and 30 – I’ve had insomnia like no other the past couple of weeks.  “Bones” the television series has become my nightly insomnia treatment.  It also makes for great dreams.  I’ve never been a better crime fighter/super hero/pretend anthropologist in my life. :) lol.

Watching Bones 29/365

Bedtime!! 30/365

Day 31 – One month down – 12 more to go.

I love you! 31/365

It means “I love you” in sign language.  I might have accidentally kind of said something that would indicate the possibility that I COULD be in love with North Sydney.  I didn’t mean to!!  It slipped out!!!

He said- “You need to have kids.  You will be a great mom.”  (a nice compliment bcuz he has a child.)

I said – “Yeah but finding the right guy is going to be next to impossible.  I think I’ll just settle with my dogs – they’re like my kids.”

He laughed and said, “You’re getting close.  If you mix CC+4 with -3 you’d almost get the perfect man for you.”

I said, “Yeah but I’m never going to meet someone who is perfect and there isn’t going to be a guy out there who is a cross between all the good of CC+4 and all the good of -3.”

He said, “You never know…”

I said, “What I really need is just to find the American version of you – then I’d be set.”

I CAN’T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!!!

I told my flatmate that I couldn’t believe I let that one slip out!!!  North Sydney gets scared off every time he kisses me – and then I tell him he’s like the perfect guy for me??  My flatmate said, “Yeah but do you feel that way?”  I said – “Yes.”  And my flatmate said, “Well then you told the truth.  You shouldn’t be worried about it.”

He’s right.  I told the truth.  And fortunately for me – North Sydney DIDN’T freak out – he just took it as a compliment – and things are the same as always.  :)

Horoscope Month Day 1 – battlefield or dancing??

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Oh get ready for this!!!

Daisy’s horoscope came true!!

- mostly. :)  And what does that mean?  Cue soap opera music please – but make it COOL music – like with a hip beat k?  Thanks!!  It means that I have a little soap opera blissness for y’allz.

INTENSE BATTLEFIELD

Keeping my NONCOMPETITIVE goal in mind today I was delighted to speak to an old friend on IM this morning.  We have often misunderstood each other – in like full blown semantic WAR – because our articulation choices are very, very VERY different – but what do you know??  Oh yeah – we figured it all out.  NO JOKE!  And I look forward to chillaxing with him soon.  :)  YAY!!!

DEEP FEELINGS OF MAGICAL INTENSITY

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore my Australian BFF?  Did I also mention that he was the leading star of the ORIGINAL Days of My Life in Bondi 2026??  Well you can imagine that our on and off again “non-platonic inclinations” lead to a very – umm – confusing relationship.  Sometimes I get a kiss on the lips as a greeting (ok I always get one) and sometimes I DON’T get a kiss goodbye??  What??  Sometimes we have plans to spend ALL DAY together – other times it’s like, “ok I’ll meet you here and drop you off after.”  Hmm … complicated.

But it’s ok because I ADORE him.  And he tolerates me (heehee) ;)

So there I was – sitting at his computer helping him fix something when he has me get up so he can sit down.

He pulls me into his lap

I’m thinking – hmm – ok – wow he’s sure making a lot of eye contact with me.  I mean – I’m like IN HIS LAP RIGHT NEXT TO HIS FACE!!!  Does he NEED to be staring at me?  NOPE.  But I like it (clear my throat) I mean EEEW GROSS HE HAS COOTIES!!!

The eye contact continues.  Hmm – wow ok we’re definitely making a LOT of eye contact.  In fact – I don’t think he’s looked at that computer screen – AT ALL.  Is he going to kiss me? But … but … didn’t he just tell me he doesn’t want complicated??  Didn’t he tell me only YESTERDAY that Captain Charisma would be a good “phone-a-friend?”

I look away.

I look back.

Hazel eyes looking deep into mine.  I adjust my position so that I can look at him directly.  I’m nervous.  Am I ready for complicated??

He takes a hand, traces it down my back and then pulls me close.  WHICH IS REALLY CLOSE BECAUSE UMM HELLO??  I was already sitting on his lap!!!  I look up at him and as his lips touch mine I’m swept off my feet as if I’m as light as a feather – and I am SO not as light as a feather – but there I am – in his arms, whisked off my seat ;) quite literally and want to know what happens next??  Complicated goes out the window.    Probably the same open window that was letting in the softest sea breeze.

The next thing I know we’re on the love sac staring at the harbour, cuddling.

YEAH CUDDLING!

This is a G rated blog  :)

We spend the rest of the day together and he kisses me goodbye.

When will I see him again?

I have no idea … but day one of the horoscope was pretty fun!!! (oh and don’t forget to head over to ScoMan’s blog and see how day one of his horoscope month ended up :)

TOMORROW

Including others in your plans is a good idea now, for it will ultimately make your day more efficient and also more fun. A close friend or partner could be holding an important key to your future, and if you don’t involve anyone else, you’ll never know what might have been possible. Don’t let an old fear of failure sabotage your current dreams by discouraging you before you even start.

SAWEET!!!  Tomorrow I am making PLANS!!!  Wahoo!!!  :)

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT!!!  As inspired by AussieErin I’m starting my very own 365 Day Project :)  Here’s day one – I only get to submit one – I chose the bottom one.  :)

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Crazy going slowly am I

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crazy

Whenever I reached the ultimate heights of boredom as a child I would recite, “I am slowly going crazy, crazy going slowly am I” over and over while I puttered around doing whatever it is I could find to do.  Aaannnndddd OMGOSH seriously – that sounds a lot worse than it really is.

No seriously.

WHAT??  You mean NORMAL people don’t do that?  WhatevvvvER.  Scott Pete sometimes did it too.  We’d recite it together and then get the giggles – yep yep.

I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY

True story – 5 minutes ago I bumped my bobby pin holder off my dresser.  I looked down and was like “What a mess.”  And then I said this outloud:

“Sweet!  At least I now have something to do for a minute.”

THAT’S RIGHT!  I talk to myself :)

But I think the most disturbing part of this story is not that I talk to myself but that I was actually happy to clean up a pile of bobby pins.

Before you think I’m TOO pathetic!!

It’s not that there aren’t things I COULD do – of COURSE there are things I could do.  It’s a matter of WANTING to do them.  I’ve done all of the boring stuff – unpacked, cleaned, made my bed – ya know – boring stuff.  And now?  I think I’ve done so many boring things that now I’m not just bored – now nothing even sounds fun!!  Lame.

Goss update:

#3 – sent me my phone via post – I thanked him via text (sms) and I think that’s the end of him.

CC+4 – I sent him this totally groovin’ ‘get your groove thang on’ song bcuz it’s SO HOT except I decided to ruin the song for him by telling him I think about him when I listen to it.  I feel mildly guilty for this – however the mild guilt does not suppress the devilish delight that makes me chuckle at the thought of it.  I will be going on another singles cruise in January – he’ll be there also – only time will tell if we’re ever cruise crushes again … but I doubt it.

Captain Charisma – OMGOSH!  We haven’t talked about him in a LLLLOOOOONNNNNGGGGG time.  But he’s back in the picture bcuz well – he’s hot and he likes American humor.  :)   Ok ok – also because I’m boyless and he always seems to be around when I am free.  :)

North Sydney – seeing him tomorrow – excited but a little nervous too.  AGH!

Work – they’re not giving casual workers any hours until October – so very quiet on that front.  However I went in to say hi and that was fun.

Ok – that’s enough out of me – I think I’ll play eyeshadow for a bit and then go buy nail polish remover.  Sweeeeeet.

Dancing on the soccer field – I confess to CC+4

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I know what you’re probably thinking … you’re probably thinking I have some sort of ill wish on my heart because I keep hanging out with CC+4.  Why would I do that???  The more time we spend together the more we get to know each other – the more we get to know each other the more we like each other – and the more we like each other the more fun we have.  I can’t resist – and even though I know the more fun we have the more sucky the goodbye will be again when I leave him a second time on Monday -

I can’t resist.

-3 was a total douchebag for so many more reasons than I ever was willing to blog about – but he was right about one thing.  I wasn’t into it 100%.

I couldn’t be.  Here’s another pic from that boating day …

CC+4 and Daisy

I’ve said all along I needed resolution with CC+4 before I’d ever be able to give my heart fully to anyone else – and coming back to Utah – realizing that CC+4 is the ONLY person who can tempt me away from my reclusive family life – and yeah – I don’t know where I’m going with this – but you know that feeling when you’re in a crowded room, or stadium, or party but you feel completely secure, almost oblivious to the chaos around?

The world kind of disappears when I’m with CC+4 -

I’m THAT into him.

Last night he asked me out on a proper date.  He invites me to do things ALL OF THE TIME but generally I have other plans and yeah – anyway – it was Pioneer Day yesterday so we went to a Major League Soccer Game – he was fun and flirtatious – looked fly as always – and we were with a big group and he made sure that everyone knew he was taken for the night.  lol.  After the game we went onto the field to watch the fireworks – he held me close and we sat away from our group.

AAANNNDDD then AFTER the fireworks -

the stadium lights turned on

and there in the middle of the soccer field …

he grabbed me and we danced.

Yes – we danced.

He spun me around, held me close, danced me in circles and put #3′s elevator dancing to complete shame. lol.  I’m teasing – but let’s compare.  A quick dance in an elevator – a long dance in front of tons of people on the field of a major league soccer field? I guess it’s not just Australians who know how to romance a girl.

And as a quick fyi – my FM should be proud – we salsa-ed.  :)

After the fireworks we went back to his house for a party and then snuck away.

And that’s when I did it!!!  Oh wow – this was a big one.

I’m new at this heart-to-heart define-the-relationship stuff so I didn’t go THAT far but here’s how it went …

Me – “You  make my life complicated.”

Him – “What??  I make your life complicated?” He chuckles.

Me – “Yeah – you know how you kinda had a GF when I first got back?” – he nods – “Well I kind of had a BF too.” – SHOCK on his face.  I continue – “He was really nice.  We had fun – he told me he loved me about a week ago – we talked about having kids – blah blah blah – and then he dumped me a couple of days later.”

Him – laughs in surprise – “He told you all of that and then broke up with you?”

Me – “Yep.  He said I wasn’t into it 100% and he was right.”  I give him a long sultry look ;) and then look away a little shyly.  I continue – “It’s hard to be 100% into someone when you’re in Utah and into someone else.” pause –

We lock eyes for like what feels like forever and

then he kisses me.

I don’t even think I’ll see him again before I leave – tonight he’s out of town – tomorrow is my family farewell dinner and tomorrow he’s headed into the mountains for his best friend’s bday party – I was invited – but family first …

I leave Monday …

Now what??  Will he get scared off?  Will we continue our long distance friendship?  Will I see him again?  Only time will tell … but my fingers are crossed…

And this is not related but I la-la-la-LOVE this pic – my niece and my sister-in-law (her mom.)  She’s so funny – AND she’s met CC+4 and she not only likes him but asks me when she’ll see him again.  Big bonus points for CC+4 – he’s GREAT with kids.

BRECKY VERSION BLACK AND WHITE WITH GREEN