I’m not going to lie – I think I have this online dating thing about figured out.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I’m kidding – kind of.  Ok the fact of it is – that I had no intention of pursuing online dating AT ALL but then I met some dudes who seemed to be pretty cool and as I engaged in contact with them I realized there were similarities in relationship patterns.  It’s quite fascinating!!!

Oh and watch for my upcoming book “Online Dating for the Dense.”  HAHAHAHAHA – just kidding – for real this time – well 90% for real.  I think I COULD prolly write a book on my studies but we’ll save that for another post.

Step Seven – A pretty big deal

Step seven is a pretty crucial step in online dating.  Yeah – that’s right – it’s a pretty big deal.  No more hiding behind words – the dude you’re talking to will now be able to HEAR you laughing at him, HEAR the cynicism in your voice, HEAR excitement – whatever – he can HEAR it.  And omgosh – don’t let me forget – umm – say hello to AWKWARD PAUSES.  (though nothing is worse than an awkward pause on skype – but that’s like level NINE so we’ll discuss that another day.)  So yeah – voice calls – a pretty big deal.

Timing is Key – calling too soon

WHY??  It’s just a phone call!!  Well because you need to make sure the timing is right.  Accurate voice call timing is crucial. Too soon and you may find yourself ending the phone call being like, “Umm alright -so yeah …” and you feel like you SHOULD say, “Talk to you soon” but you know you’re NEVER going to talk to him again so it’s a bit awkward.  PLUS if he’s all like, “This was great – I’m so glad we talked” blah blah blah – well – you feel even MORE awkward when you realize you don’t want to talk to him again.

Timing is Key – waiting too long

And then you have the other side of the fence – waiting too long before the voice call.  When this happens – you’ve been instant messaging so long that you already have an idea of how you think the other person sounds – or reacts – or just IS.  You THINK  you have an idea of their personality and then because of course you’re wrong – when you hear their voice you’re like, “omgosh – you sound like a nasal-y star trek geek who probably studies vulcan in your time off.”  WHAT DO YOU DO THEN??  Here you had these great expectations and then you talk to him and you have a mini online dating crisis.  Is this guy his voice??  Or is he his words??

Phone Calls – Golden!!

ANYWAY – if you’ve already made it through the first six steps of online dating and are prepared to take it to the next level – it’s a good sign.  Buuuutttttt – BEWARE.  Voice calls are not all they’re cracked up to be.  (haha especially if your voice cracks while talking.)  HOWEVER it’s not all gloom and doom.  Sometimes you talk to someone on the phone and are pleasantly surprised.  Suddenly you’re like, “Omgosh – I could totally see myself talking to you on a continual basis – you’re fun!”  And THAT is pretty dang cool.

Oh wait – let’s not get too excited yet.  Let’s be real – if you feel that it went SO AWESOME there’s a good chance he thought YOU sounded like a 16 year old girl who giggles too much.

Yeah – such is my life.  I bet you can’t WAIT to read about Webcams.  ;)

ANYWHO – Tonight I watched the sun set …

It was pretty.  :)

And because I heart me some seagulls :)  Here are a few of them:

(I hope you love these pics ScoMan.)

The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts

My naive inner cyber child asked my grown-up real life self, “Daisy, where do cyber-babies come from?”  And I have to be honest – I was a little stumped.  Cyber babies?  Wtheck?  And why do I have an inner cyber child?

Anyway, it has been my unfortunate experience as of late, to be the target of cyber-pressure.  Say WHAT??  Yeah.  I know.  I was shocked too.  WTHECK??

Call me naive but I had no idea how similar cyber-dating was to RL dating.  IN FACT – it’s actually worse than real life dating.   Why?  Because I added the word CYBER to the front of it.  And not only does that make it SOUND worse but it also allows for a whole new breed of douchebags.  Cyber Douchebags.  And guess what?  Cyber Douchebags are SUPER douchebags.

So right here and now – I’d just like to throw it out there that I have a Cyber Chastity Belt.  And GUESS WHAT??  I don’t lower my standards just because YOU have an iCloak of anonymity which gives you more courage to cyber hit on me.  And want to know what else?   I kind of  think you’re cybersluts!  Yep.  Cybersluts.  And cowards.  Maybe I’m wrong but I have a feeling you wouldn’t DARE speak to me that way in real life.  And if I could CYBERSLAP you, I would!!!!!

HOWEVER – with that said – I think it’s completely different when two people are getting to know each other and start cyber flirting and having a little cybersexy time.  That’s normal.  And I think it’s kind of fun to have an iCrush on someone.  In fact I DO have an iCrush on someone :)  BUT!!!!! What’s NOT normal are all the dudes from UTAH fronting to be religiously devout and “ohsoMoral and wonderful” but are REALLY cyberdirty and gross!   Oh SNAP!!!  Yeah – I did  - I went there.  I said it – and I think it’s time more people started taking a stand against cyber douchebags!!  Do you really think that morals don’t translate into the digital world?

There will be no iBirds and iBees busy making iSpring happen on THIS computer with any Cybersluts.  I have cyberstandards and iMorals!!!!    And I’m not going to have a one-night cyber-fling with you just because you think the internet is a guilt-free realm.  It shouldn’t be!!!! and I DO think your computer has a virus and I DON’T want it to infect mine.

I’ve got a super-fire-wall-cyber-chastity-belt.

And just like in REAL LIFE – in my CYBERLIFE, I can’t be PRESSURED into any cyberGROSS with you.

Umm – WHAT??? then she tried to back track and be like, “Oh narcissism isn’t that bad – it’s just another way of saying vanity.”  But the damage had already been done.  She called me narcissistic!  Me?  Narcissistic?  I mean I only have a blog dedicated to my life, I participate in photo projects that include taking a picture of myself every single day for a year, and I like to dance in front of the mirror.  What’s so narcissistic about that?

;)  hahahahaha

ok ok – maybe she had a LIL bit of a point.  But only a LIL bit.  Then she goes, “I think you should put away your scale and your mirrors for a week.”  AND to add insult to the injury, she said, “Don’t worry, most people who are narcissistic just have really low self-esteems and we already knew you had a low self-esteem.”

Ohhhhhhh  kaaaaaaayyyyyyyy

Look – I was already FLOORED by her narcissistic accusation.  SHOCK!  Hello??  She wasn’t supposed to be so BLUNT!  And then she tells me to give up my scale and MIRRORS for a week??  And tells me my narcissism is a front for low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.  Say WHAT?  I stood up to leave (the session was over) and she added, “Oh and this includes reflections in buildings or glass – but you can look at your face in the mirror if you want.”

I walked out of her office in complete and utter disbelief.  I’m still in a little bit of disbelief.  And then on the way home when I realized how many reflections I had to STOP myself from looking into – HAHAHAHAHAHA that’s when I decided – ok – I’ll do it.  But just because I CAN – even though you all don’t believe that I can.  :)

Tonight – here’s what I’ll be dancing to – with no reflection.  My mirror is covered up.  Oh dang.  Can I really go SEVEN DAYS???

I’ve always known I like doubles – I mean I did adopt TWO cats.  Then later when I was ready for more responsibility I adopted TWO dogs.  I usually get dumped by two people at once (or TWICE) I double recipes almost all of the time.  I sleep on a double bed (only in AUS though) and yeah – I accidentally bought the same pair of jeans twice as well.  I thought they were different.  They weren’t.

I blame the throat infection which I’ve had twice in a row for my latest mind voids.

Wait … you’ve had a throat infection twice in a row??  But doesn’t that just mean you’ve had it for a really long time?

NOPE.

Apparently I had like a strep throat infection and then WHILE I was recovering from my throat infection I got a throat VIRAL infection – leaving me sick with a husky voice TWICE!!!   I have to sleep twice as much.  I do homework 2222 times more slowly (which is twice of what would be twice the numeral two – oh forget it) and I am twice as lethargic as I would be on an ordinary lazy day (hence why I am NOT going to delete the doubles right now.)

Here’s the pics I uploaded TWICE – but lucky you – I’ve decided to only upload them ONCE to the blog.  Oh and you can click on them if you want to see the full deal:

Oh and I know this is probably Too Much Info!!  But I’ve been losing hair like TWICE as much since I got sick – maybe it was the antibiotics?? I don’t know but seriously GROSS!!!  Like for real – I have long hair – we all know that stray strands of hair found here or there are one of the inconveniences of having – well – of having hair in general.  Long hair makes it a little bit more noticeable.  It’s part of life.  But seriously – SO MUCH of my hair has been falling out I ALMOST took a picture to gross you all out.  I can just imagine – you’d be like SSSSIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCKKKKKK.  And I’d be like – yeah – tell me about it.  My shower complains every day.

Ok since I’m TWICE as rottenly delightful as ever – I’ll stop here.  Have a WONDERFUL whatever day you are on – I’ll be on Wednesday – maybe Thursday – or actually just if you’re not in Australia – just add a day – it’s easiest that way.  And don’t worry – the world isn’t going to end tomorrow because I’m living tomorrow and yeah – the world is still around.  :)

Pretty peaches and tangerines!  Night all!

Ugh.

Anyway – back to the one sided convo – I’m good at these….

North Sydney got a similar email.  And no – I’m not bitter AT ALL!  nope nope nope – I’m in a FABULOUS mood.  hmphf!!

Hmm … I think a bullet point list ought to do.  YAY!!!  a LIST!!!  Wahoo!!!

What does this picture say about me??

1. I love ketchup
2. I don’t just LOVE ketchup but I totally <3 HEART <3 it TOO!!!  YAY!!!
3. Engineering CATASTROPHES kinda sorta bug me – kinda sorta in the way that I actually bother to take a picture of the catastrophe to post on my blog.  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WASH MY HANDS IN WARM WATER WHEN MY ONLY OPTIONS ARE BURNING HOT AND ICY COLD???  And no it doesn’t work to try and lightning fast swing back and forth between the two.  And even though the cold does feel pretty ok after SCORCHING your hand on BURNING HOT WATER – it doesn’t make it ok.
4. I attend the University of Sydney where these sinks are found.
5. I’m on pain pills for my back.  What? you couldn’t tell that from the picture?  OOOHHH.  Well now – look again dear friend and you MAY just see that I got ON THE WRONG TRAIN today for the first time EVER because I’m  a little YAYHAPPYDAY-DOTOODOOO space cadet.  I discovered my error when I landed in a town I couldn’t pronounce in an area I couldn’t pronounce next to a guy whose name I SURELY couldn’t pronounce.

And the best part??  The pills don’t even really work!  And thanks to the Dr. I went from a 6 on the Frowny Face scale to a whopping 8.8!!!  He said “Can you move your head like this?” and then proceeded to move my head BEFORE I COULD REACT and then YOWSERS!!  8.8 on the Frowny Scale.  The pill brought me back down to an 8 but I’d say a -0.8 reduction does NOT speak highly of the medicine.

Nighty night!!

oh and p.s. #3 has a new GF and – well – you ALL know what I won’t say right about now.  But what I WILL say is that they look really cute together!!  :)  And it appears those french fries that #3 told me I wasn’t allowed to eat because he was afraid I’d PORK OUT have landed smack dab on his hips while all that extra alkeehall he drinks now that his partner drinks with him has landed squarely (or should I say roundly?) on his belly.  HAHAHA! Karma’s a be-otch!

SNAP! I know I shouldn’t point fingers while I’m eating a bag of M&Ms – but seriously – you try being a space cadet while having EIGHT degrees of frown all up in your neck.

Violent Femmes – Blister in the Sun

omgosh – just KIDDING??  What is that?? it’s a foreign language!!  Let’s try this one instead …

First I had an assignment due – a big one.  That was due 2 weeks ago.  I still haven’t handed it in.  Things haven’t been going as smoothly as hoped.

Day 20, 21 & 22- when I was still optimistic about my essay

Day 23 and 24 – Remember how I decided no more kissing North Sydney because HE IS A COMMITMENTPHOBE who FREAKS OUT every time HE kisses me!?!?  Yeah – that didn’t last long.  And then I went to my international adviser and she told me that she struggling to try and work with me because I’m smarter than her and my life is very complicated.  Gee – that’s encouraging. (insert glare.)

Day 25 and 26 -  I think it was about THIS point in my life when I discovered North Sydney didn’t remember ANYTHING about our meeting, his “stalk you later” phone calls and our very brief romance a year ago.  I very bluntly called this to his attention. :)  He tried to kiss and make up – I rolled my eyes and laughed.  Then I tried to do my essay and fell asleep over and over again.  Oh and I discovered I can tell the difference between fresh and not-as-fresh M&Ms. oh yes.

Day 27 – I went and met with the adviser again and this time she was more encouraging.  We determined that I’m having issues with essay writing because of my first semester as a graduate student when I had a super nasty teacher who used her dislike of my nationality to influence the marks she gave me.  As a straight 95% and above student my whole life – I lost all confidence in my ability to be a student after I received her grades and this lack of confidence is a detriment to my current studies.  :(  We agreed that discrimination and racism are out of my control and I need to try and move forward.  I decided to study in the park under the bright and beautiful sun.

Day 28 -  I actually went to class – instead of staying home sick like I did the rest of the week.  Class was REALLY good – I’m in the process of animating a girl on a swing set.  It’s a lot of fun and I can do it for hours and hours without getting bored.  A BIG relief from essay writing.

Day 29 and 30 – I’ve had insomnia like no other the past couple of weeks.  “Bones” the television series has become my nightly insomnia treatment.  It also makes for great dreams.  I’ve never been a better crime fighter/super hero/pretend anthropologist in my life. :) lol.

Day 31 – One month down – 12 more to go.

It means “I love you” in sign language.  I might have accidentally kind of said something that would indicate the possibility that I COULD be in love with North Sydney.  I didn’t mean to!!  It slipped out!!!

He said- “You need to have kids.  You will be a great mom.”  (a nice compliment bcuz he has a child.)

I said – “Yeah but finding the right guy is going to be next to impossible.  I think I’ll just settle with my dogs – they’re like my kids.”

He laughed and said, “You’re getting close.  If you mix CC+4 with -3 you’d almost get the perfect man for you.”

I said, “Yeah but I’m never going to meet someone who is perfect and there isn’t going to be a guy out there who is a cross between all the good of CC+4 and all the good of -3.”

He said, “You never know…”

I said, “What I really need is just to find the American version of you – then I’d be set.”

I CAN’T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!!!

I told my flatmate that I couldn’t believe I let that one slip out!!!  North Sydney gets scared off every time he kisses me – and then I tell him he’s like the perfect guy for me??  My flatmate said, “Yeah but do you feel that way?”  I said – “Yes.”  And my flatmate said, “Well then you told the truth.  You shouldn’t be worried about it.”

He’s right.  I told the truth.  And fortunately for me – North Sydney DIDN’T freak out – he just took it as a compliment – and things are the same as always.  :)

Daisy’s horoscope came true!!

- mostly. :)  And what does that mean?  Cue soap opera music please – but make it COOL music – like with a hip beat k?  Thanks!!  It means that I have a little soap opera blissness for y’allz.

INTENSE BATTLEFIELD

Keeping my NONCOMPETITIVE goal in mind today I was delighted to speak to an old friend on IM this morning.  We have often misunderstood each other – in like full blown semantic WAR – because our articulation choices are very, very VERY different – but what do you know??  Oh yeah – we figured it all out.  NO JOKE!  And I look forward to chillaxing with him soon.  :)  YAY!!!

DEEP FEELINGS OF MAGICAL INTENSITY

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore my Australian BFF?  Did I also mention that he was the leading star of the ORIGINAL Days of My Life in Bondi 2026??  Well you can imagine that our on and off again “non-platonic inclinations” lead to a very – umm – confusing relationship.  Sometimes I get a kiss on the lips as a greeting (ok I always get one) and sometimes I DON’T get a kiss goodbye??  What??  Sometimes we have plans to spend ALL DAY together – other times it’s like, “ok I’ll meet you here and drop you off after.”  Hmm … complicated.

But it’s ok because I ADORE him.  And he tolerates me (heehee) ;)

So there I was – sitting at his computer helping him fix something when he has me get up so he can sit down.

He pulls me into his lap

I’m thinking – hmm – ok – wow he’s sure making a lot of eye contact with me.  I mean – I’m like IN HIS LAP RIGHT NEXT TO HIS FACE!!!  Does he NEED to be staring at me?  NOPE.  But I like it (clear my throat) I mean EEEW GROSS HE HAS COOTIES!!!

The eye contact continues.  Hmm – wow ok we’re definitely making a LOT of eye contact.  In fact – I don’t think he’s looked at that computer screen – AT ALL.  Is he going to kiss me? But … but … didn’t he just tell me he doesn’t want complicated??  Didn’t he tell me only YESTERDAY that Captain Charisma would be a good “phone-a-friend?”

I look away.

I look back.

Hazel eyes looking deep into mine.  I adjust my position so that I can look at him directly.  I’m nervous.  Am I ready for complicated??

He takes a hand, traces it down my back and then pulls me close.  WHICH IS REALLY CLOSE BECAUSE UMM HELLO??  I was already sitting on his lap!!!  I look up at him and as his lips touch mine I’m swept off my feet as if I’m as light as a feather – and I am SO not as light as a feather – but there I am – in his arms, whisked off my seat ;) quite literally and want to know what happens next??  Complicated goes out the window.    Probably the same open window that was letting in the softest sea breeze.

The next thing I know we’re on the love sac staring at the harbour, cuddling.

YEAH CUDDLING!

This is a G rated blog  :)

We spend the rest of the day together and he kisses me goodbye.

When will I see him again?

I have no idea … but day one of the horoscope was pretty fun!!! (oh and don’t forget to head over to ScoMan’s blog and see how day one of his horoscope month ended up :)

TOMORROW

Including others in your plans is a good idea now, for it will ultimately make your day more efficient and also more fun. A close friend or partner could be holding an important key to your future, and if you don’t involve anyone else, you’ll never know what might have been possible. Don’t let an old fear of failure sabotage your current dreams by discouraging you before you even start.

SAWEET!!!  Tomorrow I am making PLANS!!!  Wahoo!!!  :)

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT!!!  As inspired by AussieErin I’m starting my very own 365 Day Project :)  Here’s day one – I only get to submit one – I chose the bottom one.  :)

Whenever I reached the ultimate heights of boredom as a child I would recite, “I am slowly going crazy, crazy going slowly am I” over and over while I puttered around doing whatever it is I could find to do.  Aaannnndddd OMGOSH seriously – that sounds a lot worse than it really is.

No seriously.

WHAT??  You mean NORMAL people don’t do that?  WhatevvvvER.  Scott Pete sometimes did it too.  We’d recite it together and then get the giggles – yep yep.

I AM SLOWLY GOING CRAZY

True story – 5 minutes ago I bumped my bobby pin holder off my dresser.  I looked down and was like “What a mess.”  And then I said this outloud:

“Sweet!  At least I now have something to do for a minute.”

THAT’S RIGHT!  I talk to myself :)

But I think the most disturbing part of this story is not that I talk to myself but that I was actually happy to clean up a pile of bobby pins.

Before you think I’m TOO pathetic!!

It’s not that there aren’t things I COULD do – of COURSE there are things I could do.  It’s a matter of WANTING to do them.  I’ve done all of the boring stuff – unpacked, cleaned, made my bed – ya know – boring stuff.  And now?  I think I’ve done so many boring things that now I’m not just bored – now nothing even sounds fun!!  Lame.

Goss update:

#3 – sent me my phone via post – I thanked him via text (sms) and I think that’s the end of him.

CC+4 – I sent him this totally groovin’ ‘get your groove thang on’ song bcuz it’s SO HOT except I decided to ruin the song for him by telling him I think about him when I listen to it.  I feel mildly guilty for this – however the mild guilt does not suppress the devilish delight that makes me chuckle at the thought of it.  I will be going on another singles cruise in January – he’ll be there also – only time will tell if we’re ever cruise crushes again … but I doubt it.

Captain Charisma – OMGOSH!  We haven’t talked about him in a LLLLOOOOONNNNNGGGGG time.  But he’s back in the picture bcuz well – he’s hot and he likes American humor.  :)   Ok ok – also because I’m boyless and he always seems to be around when I am free.  :)

North Sydney – seeing him tomorrow – excited but a little nervous too.  AGH!

Work – they’re not giving casual workers any hours until October – so very quiet on that front.  However I went in to say hi and that was fun.

Ok – that’s enough out of me – I think I’ll play eyeshadow for a bit and then go buy nail polish remover.  Sweeeeeet.

I can’t resist.

-3 was a total douchebag for so many more reasons than I ever was willing to blog about – but he was right about one thing.  I wasn’t into it 100%.

I couldn’t be.  Here’s another pic from that boating day …

I’ve said all along I needed resolution with CC+4 before I’d ever be able to give my heart fully to anyone else – and coming back to Utah – realizing that CC+4 is the ONLY person who can tempt me away from my reclusive family life – and yeah – I don’t know where I’m going with this – but you know that feeling when you’re in a crowded room, or stadium, or party but you feel completely secure, almost oblivious to the chaos around?

The world kind of disappears when I’m with CC+4 -

I’m THAT into him.

Last night he asked me out on a proper date.  He invites me to do things ALL OF THE TIME but generally I have other plans and yeah – anyway – it was Pioneer Day yesterday so we went to a Major League Soccer Game – he was fun and flirtatious – looked fly as always – and we were with a big group and he made sure that everyone knew he was taken for the night.  lol.  After the game we went onto the field to watch the fireworks – he held me close and we sat away from our group.

AAANNNDDD then AFTER the fireworks -

the stadium lights turned on

and there in the middle of the soccer field …

he grabbed me and we danced.

Yes – we danced.

He spun me around, held me close, danced me in circles and put #3′s elevator dancing to complete shame. lol.  I’m teasing – but let’s compare.  A quick dance in an elevator – a long dance in front of tons of people on the field of a major league soccer field? I guess it’s not just Australians who know how to romance a girl.

And as a quick fyi – my FM should be proud – we salsa-ed.  :)

After the fireworks we went back to his house for a party and then snuck away.

And that’s when I did it!!!  Oh wow – this was a big one.

I’m new at this heart-to-heart define-the-relationship stuff so I didn’t go THAT far but here’s how it went …

Me – “You  make my life complicated.”

Him – “What??  I make your life complicated?” He chuckles.

Me – “Yeah – you know how you kinda had a GF when I first got back?” – he nods – “Well I kind of had a BF too.” – SHOCK on his face.  I continue – “He was really nice.  We had fun – he told me he loved me about a week ago – we talked about having kids – blah blah blah – and then he dumped me a couple of days later.”

Him – laughs in surprise – “He told you all of that and then broke up with you?”

Me – “Yep.  He said I wasn’t into it 100% and he was right.”  I give him a long sultry look ;) and then look away a little shyly.  I continue – “It’s hard to be 100% into someone when you’re in Utah and into someone else.” pause –

We lock eyes for like what feels like forever and

then he kisses me.

I don’t even think I’ll see him again before I leave – tonight he’s out of town – tomorrow is my family farewell dinner and tomorrow he’s headed into the mountains for his best friend’s bday party – I was invited – but family first …

I leave Monday …

Now what??  Will he get scared off?  Will we continue our long distance friendship?  Will I see him again?  Only time will tell … but my fingers are crossed…

And this is not related but I la-la-la-LOVE this pic – my niece and my sister-in-law (her mom.)  She’s so funny – AND she’s met CC+4 and she not only likes him but asks me when she’ll see him again.  Big bonus points for CC+4 – he’s GREAT with kids.