My heart’s a stereo – and I’m going to start sharing “deep stuff” ;)

Posted on June 26, 2011 by Daisy

It is trite and dramatic to mention my entire world has changed over the past 8 months; of course it has! Hasn’t everyone’s? How can you LIVE and love and not change or grow? But yet I find myself wanting to say it!

I have changed. I am changed.

I am also Queen of the Obvious!

But there! I said it – I got it out of the way. We can move forward. :) haha – ok I’m not like COMPLETELY changed. My sense of humor is still about the same. :) which let’s be real – that is a HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!

YAY!!!!!

You see, I LOVE to laugh and I think I’m funny. So the fact that I STILL think I’m funny?!?!! Wahoo!! :) :)

Anyway I’m only mentioning this because I’ve done moderately well at being “adjusted” despite my – umm – well – my life. I’ve tried to maintain a happy perspective, I’ve worked at being optimistic and I’ve NEVER taken the “why me?” attitude; though I have most certainly wondered about the purpose of life. But I’ve adjusted; I’ve adapted. I’m still here and most days I’m still laughing. :)

Up until recently I didn’t want to really admit… (continue reading on my new blog here.)

Or if you just want to stick with the light stuff …

Let me share with you my new favorite-est-est-est song!!! I’ve mentioned that my BF and I have a soundtrack of US. (you should read it the story – it’s cute) And this song makes it on the list. The lyrics ring true in my heart. I love J, and I WOULD carry him around even if he were an old school 50lb boombox, and I’d hold him on my shoulder wherever I walked, and turn his volume up in front of the cops, and crank it higher every time they told me to stop. hee hee ;) Yes – My heart’s a stereo.

If you haven’t done it – do it. and Tip One – Finding inner happiness

Posted on October 22, 2009 by Daisy

Ok so I’m trying not to give up hope yet … but I was only down by 800 yesterday – today I’m down by 1000. The odds are most definitely NOT in my favor however I’ve started – and there’s no point stopping until it’s over right? :) Sure I started 2 weeks late – and THANK YOU for the 500+ votes I’ve received over the past week!!! But unless I start pulling 200 votes+ a day – I’m not going to catch up. Sooo…. if you haven’t voted yet today – if you haven’t asked your blog readers to vote – if you haven’t thrown out a tweet or a FB status update – please, please do!! :) I’m almost at 100 votes a day – and if all of my voters get just ONE MORE PERSON to vote – voila! 200+ votes a day. :)

Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

AAANNNDDD I kind of think that maybe even if I don’t get the job – I think dedicating one day a week to writing about finding and maintaining inner happiness might be a great way to go. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know much about the subject (only because I learned about it the hard way) but other times I’m grateful when I can share a few words with someone in need.

Finding inner happiness – part 1

Have you ever felt free? Free from the pressures of work. Free from the pressures of family, society, money,etc.? Have you ever thought, “I never want this moment to end” ??

Take a moment today and relive that experience. Take a moment and feel where you were – what you were doing – the sounds, sights, smells. Maybe you were catching a nice wave while surfing. Maybe your cat sat purring in your lap. Maybe it was while you played a musical instrument, or it was after a long day of work and you were chilling on your bed with your feet up. :) Maybe it was outside when you eyes beheld breathtaking beauty. A waterfall, a peaceful spring, seeing a wild dolphin swim next to you. Maybe it was beauty from the heart – coming home to a big happy hug from your adorable child. Or maybe – just maybe – if you were me – you were laying outside under a big willow tree with two beautiful dogs by your side watching the clouds go by.

You don’t have to be doing anything “special” to experience this escape. You simply have to live.

Stop the torrent of thoughts scrambling around in your mind. Set aside your worries for 10 minutes. Breathe. Look. See. Feel. And then? And then take a big sigh and smile.

happy day!!! Our actions may not be directly related to the patterns of our thoughts and changing our thinking doesn’t ensure change in behavior.

On the other hand, our thoughts are most certainly directly affected by our actions. And if we choose to act in ways we may not feel (if we try to attempt happiness when we are sad), if we keep this up, eventually the thoughts will follow. Maybe we can’t let go of it all today – maybe there is just too much stress. Ok. That’s ok. Go back in time and relive a prior experience. Remember how it felt. Feel it again.

Sigh and let the world go for one minute. Then smile and feel the energy around you. Laugh. Love. Live.

It only takes a moment. Try it today.

Live in the moment and your memories will last forever

Posted on September 16, 2009 by Daisy

The future is not entirely within our control. We can shape and mold, hope and pray, but the future is never certain. What will tomorrow bring? Where will I be in a year? Who will leave my life? Who will enter?

It’s exciting and overwhelming. The options are endless and the possibilities are likely beyond our scope of imagination.

Daunting? yes.

Lucky for us – we can choose HOW we look at the future and we can choose optimism OR pessimism. We have a choice. And we can prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.

And though we may not get to pick the story of our MadLib game – we get to pick adjectives, adverbs, pronouns, and verbs.

“”"(insert name) was so lucky to go to a/an (insert sport) game. He/she was (insert emotion) even though his/her (insert food) dropped and landed right on his/her (insert body part.)”"”

(btw – if you don’t get this MadLib reference/metaphor – you missed a great part of being a kid! :) )

September 14th is a bittersweet day.

A few years ago I always planned on phone calls, birthday dinners and/or birthday FUN around the 14th. Now? Well now my brother isn’t around to celebrate birthdays. So those plans, along with hopes for the future, dreams of having same aged kids and huge family reunions with a genius brother whose style was impeccable and grammar was without reproach are all gone.

But want to know what isn’t gone?? My memories.

That’s right – and barring brain disease or injury – NO ONE can take away my memories. I’ll have them for as long as I live. And this September 14th I relived a few memories. And I’m so grateful that I have GREAT memories on which to reflect.

We don’t know what will happen tomorrow – but if we live TODAY and every day to its full potential then tomorrow – no matter what happens, we’ll always be able to remember yesterday with fondness.

Paradigm Shifts – Half-full cups sound better (plus pics plus sweet cover song)

Posted on September 11, 2009 by Daisy

When I began this post I was going to title it “What I’m missing out on.” But then I stopped.

Yes – it’s true – I DID miss out on the family party shown below (pics courtesy of my older brother and father) but labeling it as “what I’m missing” makes it bittersweet. And quite frankly – though I LOVE dark chocolate, I like my life to be a bit more on the sugary side. :) So INSTEAD – let me show you what I have to look forward to in about 4.5 months. :)

This Smile

These Puppies

My precious nieces

Family Fun

Bocce Ball

Giggles and puppy play

Unconditional Love

That’s right – I have a whole lot of GOOD to look forward to – and although I may be missing out on some of it at the moment – it will be waiting for me when I finish here in Australia.

My adviser has been talking to me a lot about refocusing unconscious situational judgments.

I do it ALL of the time. “Ooh – I missed out on that” instead of “Sweet! I can’t wait for next time!” Or “Last semester SUCKED!” instead of “Last semester was a good growing experience.” AAANNNDDD I refer to 6 months ago as “when I was fat” when I only weighed 7lbs more than I do now!! Problems?? I think so.

My adviser ALSO talked to me about learning to FEEL small emotions instead of rationalizing them away.

I’m the queen of logic. Yes-sir-ee-bob! I sure am! And guess what??

Emotions aren’t logical!!

So although I tease a lot about “hating” this or being “bugged” by that – I usually rationalize away my feelings and never take the time to ACCEPT that I feel this way. It’s ok if this sounds confusing – it is. :) But the jist of it is that although I use exaggerated negative language to describe situations – I never actually ACKNOWLEDGE my feelings about the situation. Of course exaggerations aren’t to be taking seriously and I never take my feelings that seriously either.

Anyway – I’m now working on this … and I’m just OVERJOYED about it. ;) HAHAHAHAHA! teasing.

oh and I’m sorry if I haven’t commented for awhile!! I am still a faithful reader to the people I follow – I just haven’t had time to comment. :) I will be fixing this!!

Day 39-41

Bleeding Love COVER by Mystery Jets – LOVE IT!!

Overcoming Despair

Posted on August 12, 2009 by Daisy

Yesterday I read a blog which expressed feelings I know all too well.

Why is THIS all worth it? Why??

(You can substitute the word THIS for many, many things – having your heart broken, deciding to get a much-needed divorce, working through your problems with a friend, recovering from an eating disorder, recovering from depression, dealing with hardships of school, life and life’s hardships in general, being nice to people who are mean, working at a crap job, etc – I think most people have a THIS – and what I’m about to say should apply to most of it.)

So seriously – Why is THIS all worth it? Why are these challenges and heartaches worth it?? Why bother??

The blog I read was searching for meaning in the hardship – a meaning for the end result – a meaning for the acceptance/recovery/healing/hardwork. And that’s when I found myself answering a question I’ve so often asked myself – why is it worth it? Why continue? Why push on? Why NOT give up?? Well … because:

It IS worth it – but you have to change the goal.

Here’s an elaborated version of the comment I left:

camelias

When I start thinking about it all being ‘worth it’ then – if I’m not careful – I quickly revert back to old habits or want to give up. I KNOW what I’m getting myself into with old habits – but who knows what the future holds? The future could be WORSE. – or it could be just as bad – but with a lot of extra heartache.

It is then – when I’m lucky and am able to step back a bit from my troubles – that I look at that question a little more closely.

Who knows what the future holds??

No one. And isn’t that a grand thing?

The future is ours for the shaping.

Maybe the goal shouldn’t be the end result or finish line. Maybe we should stop looking at “when I finally recover” or “when I finally leave him” or “eventually I’ll be over my eating disorder.” Sure it’s good to have hope for a brighter tomorrow – but life is about so much more than this.

Life is the experiences along the way – the detours, the speed bumps and sometimes?

Sometimes life is even about the stop signs.

Look – I’m not saying life is great. Life kinda sucks!! And I DEFINITELY haven’t wanted many of the experiences I’ve had – image issues, divorce, the death of loved ones… and has any of that been “worth it”?? H.E.DOUBLE NO. or for those of you who don’t speak fake swear words – that’s a big HELL NO.

But that’s when my conscience kicks in with an old saying:

“Life isn’t about learning to weather the storms – it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

We can’t control all of the storms that come our way – but we can control our attitude and our courage. If the point of it all is not recovery in itself but instead the challenge of accepting these trials while smiling through them – even when you want to give up – well that right there is something.
I totally understand the whole – “Yeah but WHY would I choose to go through this when I don’t HAVE to?”
WWWWEEELLLLL – life is about progressing – stagnancy gets you no where. :) You won’t learn a whole lot if you wallow in your misery or give up. But if you move forward:
you challenge yourself,
you learn,
you grow,

you LIVE.

WHY BOTHER??
Because it’s a challenge, an opportunity for learning and growth and a way to experience life and ALL of life’s emotional intensity. It’s not about the destination – no no – it’s about the journey. And if you make the JOURNEY the meaning – then regardless of the outcome – it WILL be worth it.

rainbow

Pics of the day – 9, 10 and 11

1, 2, 3… ELEVEN Petals

a petal for every passion, life is just one of them

Category Archives: Happiness is a choice