Ugh.

Anyway – back to the one sided convo – I’m good at these….

North Sydney got a similar email.  And no – I’m not bitter AT ALL!  nope nope nope – I’m in a FABULOUS mood.  hmphf!!

• I spied with my own little eyes some REALLY SMART GIRL on FB who said in a status comment “another weekend and I would totally of gone”  Totally OF gone?  Maybe she should totally OF gone to skool so she’d be heaps smart likes me is.
• Ok next – Twitter Haters – are you for real?  I know you SAY you’re too busy to tweet and all because you like have a life and stuff and I know you’re totally saying it like you’re so super self-important and have better things to do with your time – but for real?  GET OVER YOURSELF.
• And now – Twitter-maker-fun-of-ers?? Please DON’T stop because you provide me with LOLs.  Like this awesomeness:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4te5cZa6sM[/youtube]

• And yeah … I should probably go to bed now so we’ll stop there.  Except you should see this pic that I got from fannypackantics.com’s post – Purple Rain who apparently got it from fivestrongs.blogspot.com

• Are you for real?  HAHA!  That cloak is magically terrible and terribly AWESOME!
• Oh can’t forget to add THIS beautiful product that I discovered on “This is why you’re fat” .com.  It needs no comment:
• 

Alright then – I think I can end it there … yeah …

OH WAIT!!!!  Almost forgot this gem too.  One more for your viewing pleasure – picture from gofugyourself.com

I need those pants.  Good night!!

That should kill two birds with one stone METAPHORICALLY that is – I’m not really into the whole throwing rocks at cute little creatures that better NEVER EVER ever EVER touch me because they’re cute to THINK about but WAAAY too scary to touch. 

Yeah – that’s about right.  Metaphorically I think all of my problems are solved.  (is it still opposite day?)

____________________________________

March 23, 2009

Ordinarily I would forward music onto CC-450 HOWEVER I’m afraid he may believe that a song is like the second witness signature (next to the kiss) on the contract for marriage? Say what? Are you confused yet? me too.

Someone, who will remain nameless but has 2 “C”s and a “-450″ in his code name, ACTUALLY ASKED ME, “You’re not like the type of girl who like… well you don’t think … I mean you don’t think if you kiss a guy it means …  umm … like you’re not one of those girls that thinks a kiss means like marriage are you?”

[pause.  long pause.]
[pause some more.  look to the side quizzically.]
[look straight again.  what did he just say?]

You’re not the type of girl who thinks a kiss is a contract for marriage are you?

Whew.  I thought maybe he said something else.  Glad we got that straight.

Umm hello!  OF COURSE I THINK A KISS IS A CONTRACT FOR MARRIAGE! And this is why, in pursuit of my dream to be the world’s most famous bigamist, I made sure to kiss him, Adorable Boy, Glitter Boy and another boy who will remain nameless all within the same week.  GASP!  DAISY!!!  You kiss slut!!!  How do you live with yourself?? Hey you – yeah YOU – the one judging me – I think that’s just about enough out of you. It wasn’t PLANNED – I mean – wait - just kidding.  It WAS PLANNED because hello?  How am I going to score myself 40 husbands unless I start knocking off those kiss contracts as quickly as possible?

(Though in all fairness to my image, I didn’t kiss any other boys in the northern hemisphere after I kissed CC-450.  No no – I’m a reformed kiss slut.  [insert I can't believe I'm writing this])

Wow – ok you still with me?  We’re getting close to the end.

Now look … I’m feeling guilty generous, so although I WAS going to count all of the ways in which what he said to me was like the WORST THING TO SAY TO A GIRL EVER (which would have been like a 12km long list) instead let’s just say – he shattered my dreams. Darn it! I’m going to have to rethink EVERYTHING now. If kissing boys doesn’t insure me those illustrious rings so many girls are chasing after – what do I do now?

Oh – oh hold up!  Wait wait.  Just had a thought!  this is a good one.  And I swear this is almost over.

Before I go doubting myself just because some boy wanted to make sure I know he isn’t interested in the R word [insert gee really?  thanks mr. obvious] … let’s think back.

Oh yes!  Yes I remember now!

I don’t have to have a broken heart quite yet. I remember now.  I DID get a memo on how kissing IS a contract for marriage. WAHOO!!!

He’s the one who is wrong.

Nice!  Score at LEAST one for Daisy!!  I’ll have to forward him the memo along with another sweet song. I’m pretty sure a diamond ring should come by FedEx in like at most a week right? 

Toothbrush Tree is an edgy girl band with a passion for payback.  With track names like, “You’re my number one DB” and “You’ve been played – playa” to “I don’t get jealous” and “Take your double standards and shove em” you experience firsthand how these girls play the game.  Toothbrush Tree takes bitter lyrics and mixes them with booty shakin’ bass lines and groovin’ tempos so that sass and scorn never sounded better!  Before you know it you’re singing along to “I hate you.  Yes, yes I do.  You say wha? wha? I don’t care.  JustbcuzIkissedya doesn’t mean Iwannaknowya.”

• Vogue Magazine called it “Empowering album for any woman who has ever felt neglected or scorned.”
• Women’s Health raved, “Best new workout album for the summer.  Getting in shape as revenge against your ex never felt so good.”

It started while lead singer Daisy was living abroad in Sydney.  “I was fed up with the double standard.  I like to kiss boys.  I like to date.  I like to play.  But this doesn’t mean I fall in love with every guy I crush on.  This album was a way for me to explore the nature of double standards and men whose egos can barely fit into an auditorium.”

“The name ‘Toothbrush Tree’ came from the idea of always needing a spare toothbrush.  If you know what I mean.” [Daisy winks]  “Blindness of Strangers” refers to the idea that you don’t KNOW unless you KNOW.  Judging just isn’t cool.”

In a recent interview with RollingStone Daisy stated, “I hope this album reaches out to girls who are feeling neglected and misunderstood.  I want this to reach out to the women who are fed up with men thinking they’re in love with them.  And I want to reach out to the women who have been judged according to a double standard.  Stand up!  No more!  Be empowered.”

Only time will tell, but this reporter predicts Daisy’s gusto and attitude will launch her straight into multi-platinum status.

HAHAHAHAHA!  Ok – there you have it.  Sure sounds like I am a bit bitter eh?  Hmm.  Well it WAS just a writing prompt.  Or was it?  I guess only YOU can decide how much of the content REALLY has to do with my life right now (that is if any of it did.) 

And NoooOoooOooo this is not a wikipedia picture – I took this one all by myself – TODAY. I didn’t die (yeah yeah – I know) and I finally fell back asleep, only to be woken by a buzzing.  Bzzzz.  Killer spiders and now killer moths AGAIN!  Apparently announcing my woes last night in my blog resulted in their recurrence.  (Wait – Daisy – do moths actually buzz? – I don’t know – but what else could be buzzing in my ear in the middle of the pitch black night?  Don’t answer that – I may be less scared of moths than whatever your answer is.)

Ok so I was up and at it by 6:30 this morning and you can imagine just how chipper I was after a night of almost no sleep.  Superduperchipper.  Though my mood lightened a bit when I caught the early bus which ended up being slow; HOWEVER it was filled with hotties.  Superduperhotties.  Man oh man – if only I had understood that correct train/bus time is critical for superduperhottie stalking I could have filled up my name page with like 40 more boys!!!

My first class was through this door.

Did I mention that I’ve switched from the Uni of Syd to the Ghetto Jungle?  I just hope they have hip hop inside.  Hip hop makes everything better.  No seriously – it makes everything better.  Even ice cream.  And pancakes.

Ok – that was weird.  Moving on!  I liked class number 1, I also liked class number 2 and I thoroughly enjoyed these local hang outs:

I noticed a couple interesting things on campus today.

1. My skirt was too short – but not as short as everyone else’s dresses and shorts.
2. I look as young or younger than many of the undergraduate students.
3. I’m about to turn 27 and there are 19-22 year old men/boys eying me.  I think this makes me a cougar?  Hmm … I suppose I’m ok with that.  FM’s GF and I discussed (outrageously!) that maybe to celebrate my entrance into the late twenties that I should date someone from every age between 19 to 26 before 2010.   That’s quite a lofty goal – 8 men in one year – but considering I went on 7 dates with 7 different men in only 6 days back in January 2009 (yes – it’s true) – I may be able to swing it.  AGH!  I’m a shocka!!!  The only difficulty with this “aspiration” is that I still have a stupid crush on CC+4 even though I know I’m being ridiculous by still having it – and since I’ve decided to look for substance I just don’t see how I can look for substance AND date hot boys based on their age.  Darn it – there goes that fab idea out the window!
4. Spicy Salmon rolls are NOT as good as Salmon and Avocado rolls.
5. And if I swing it correctly – lunch time could become my new networking/social endeavor.

Ok so this post is already outrageously long!  So I’ll sum up the rest of the day with a couple pics:

First Day of School Picture – I’m not sure what I’m listening to – probably one of the kick-A songs that CC+4 sent.  The “Hot Thing” one was sweet – but “Pop the Glock” was even better.  There’s also a chance I was listening to some Meiko – I love her songs “Reasons to Love you” and “Piano Song.”

What a crappy pic eh?  Oh well – on to the next.  First semester I met Bruce -  he is a kindred spirit and a life saver!!!!  Pic from Semester 1:

Pic from semester 2: Bruce says I look younger … but I’m pretty sure my name isn’t Benjamin Button.

It was amazing to catch up with Bruce – he is like a wise fortune teller.  Except he doesn’t predict the future.    He just has an uncanny knack for really understanding the HERE and NOW.

Next I saw the following sign – wteff?  and I learned another latin dance.

So there you have it.  A VERY long day.  Very very long.  I didn’t get home until midnight and feel like I haven’t slept for days.  I am SOOOOOO crashing tomorrow – and maybe doing some reading on the beach.  Which btw – I have some great points to make on the book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” – so maybe I’ll get to that this week.  Oh and I haven’t forgotten – I need to post my cricket video!  YAY!!!

Does anyone else salsa dance?  How long did it take you to learn?  I seriously suck.

I LUV the Venus razor. It’s great right? Right! Well the other day I was going to wear a skirt to a club and though I had shaved my legs that morning with my trusty Venus – I wanted a fresh shave for the night. I didn’t have time to run home so I stopped off at the store and bought the necessary ingredients for a Vegas shave (lotion and a razor.) It works like a charm!

Or at least it does with the Venus.

I was in a hurry and just grabbed a cheap-o disposable razor because my girlfriend said it works just as well in a bind.

Umm …

WRONG!!!

I bet you already see where this is going! Did you see about 40 trillion gajillion little pricks of blood all over my cut-up legs? If you did then you must be psychic! Congrats! That’s a cool superhero power. And I bet you also saw that I would NOT be wearing a skirt because of it either. A great way to save time right? I got to waste even MORE time changing clothes!!!

Life lesson? Don’t trust the people who tell you cheap-o disposable razors are ok in a bind. It’s not true.

And on a positive note I felt like a pre-teen again shaving my legs for the first time. Ah – such happy – terrible horrible very traumatic – memories.  Hooray for me!

Oh and I don’t know why but I feel the need to tell you I’m in love with the song “Day N Nite (Crookers Remix)” by Kid Cudi.

I was all pumped to take “Coaching in Organizations” for my summer school class.  I registered, applied for a prerequisite waiver, and waited.  Then when I never heard anything I called.  Then I called again.  And again.  And again.  I was ASSURED that the class I was SO EXCITED to take was all good and I was set to take it.  So I started doing packing preparations because I’m supposed to leave in a few days and then I thought – I better call one more time (as if the 15 trillion times before weren’t enough.)  Why did I call again?  Because nothing at the University of Sydney is ever easy and this process smelled kinda fishy.

THANK GOODNESS I CALLED AGAIN!!!!

My prerequisite waiver was NOT actually accepted.  Wait what?  But wait a minute – didn’t they say it was accepted last time I called?  It’s all good in a terribly horrible way.  I’m not surprised.  For some reason Aussie English and American English are completely incompatible and the language barrier is almost insurmountable.  ERR.

But on the bright side of the black hole (umm Daisy? Black holes don’t have any light) I am super duper lucky because now I get to take the lamest, suckiest (whatever spellcheck – underline away!  suckiest IS a word ) class EVER!!!  The class: Counterterrorism and Human Rights.  LAME!  Sooooo not what I wanted to take.  But it means I can postpone packing for a bit.

Maybe if I’m even luckier the class will be taught by another hippy anti-American convict.  And she can pick me out of the class every session like I’m in high school and ask me what I’m whispering about.  I’ll lie like I did every last session and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t understand what was said.”  When REALLY I was whispering about “What the flip is she wearing today?  Seriously?  Two headbands that don’t match, five bangle bracelets, two shawls, one, two, three – I can’t count how many earings and oh no she didn’t – please tell me those are not white socks with those ugly black lace-up commando boots.”

Cross your fingers for me!

Or the other people who THINK they can answer every question correctly and then fight about what really is the right answer.  As if it’s sooooo important to know the name of which cricket star in 1938 and a half led his team to a 40 trillion billion to stupid zero victory but then lost the title of “I’m so superduper cool” because he was involved in a secret scandal that wasn’t discovered til (name that year) with the wife of (name that guy who got cheated on by his wife) in the country of (who the flip even cares?)

No – I think I only hate trivia because I never know the right answer.

The part about which lake that I’ve never heard of in which country that I’ve never heard of that was discovered by some weirdo that I’ve never heard of in a year that was so long ago that I don’t really care – I don’t really hate that part.  Nope – that part’s ok.

But I do really wish they’d ask more questions about cockroaches. I’d get ALL of those right.

Did you know that there is actually a species of cockroach that people keep as pets?  WHAT?  It’s called the Giant Burrowing Cockroach.

The Giant Burrowing Cockroach

And people keep these as pets.  And I will now keep the memory of the name “Giant Burrowing Cockroach” in my memory until the end of my days and have nightmares about this special burrowing GIANT cockroach that is probably harmless but because it has the name GIANT BURROWING COCKROACH I will imagine that this cockroach is going to burrow into my brain!!!  Whew that was a run-on and totally didn’t make 100% sense.

But if only I’d get a question about THAT – then maybe I wouldn’t hate trivia so much.

In my wanderings I found a detox drink recipe that we are ALL supposed to have every morning.  It’s made with lemon, cayenne, honey and water.  I decided it was time for me to make it.

What a foul drink.  Please kill me now!  I will NOT drink cayenne pepper with honey and/or lemon ever again.  If I’m supposed to have more lemon in my day – fine.  I’ll add THAT to my water.  If I’m supposed to have cayenne in my diet – fine.  I’ll sprinkle it on my food to give it a little spicy kick.  But I will not EVER drink cayenne pepper in water with honey again.

I’m scarred for life.

Hey but if YOU want to try it – maybe you’ll like it.  Just mix 8 oz water, 2T lemon, 1/4 tsp cayenne and 1T honey.  Give it a go!  It may turn out to be your FAVORITE thing in the whole world.