Category Archives: Just a little sarcastic – just a little

Do men have hearts, feelings OR the ability to fall in love?

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Here’s the one-sided conversation I had with my mother today.  It WOULD have been TWO sided but she was still asleep.  And WHY am I still awake??  PROLLY cuz my really cool neighbors are outside playing rockband with trashcans and sticks.  I’m sorry but seriously – karaoke is NOT cool to hear at 1:30 am.  And it’s ESPECIALLY not cool when you can hear the microphone make that whiney terrible rotten noise as it get too close to the speaker (how do they have speakers if they have to use garbage cans for DRUMS??) and if you can imagine it being EVEN WORSE THAN THIS well guess what??  The dude singing?  Is out of tune.  And kinda sounds like a creaky gate swinging on its rusty hinges.  You know that sound?  You know?  It just kinda makes you want to shudder.

Ugh.

Anyway – back to the one sided convo – I’m good at these….

part 1

PART 2

PART 3

North Sydney got a similar email.  And no – I’m not bitter AT ALL!  nope nope nope – I’m in a FABULOUS mood.  hmphf!!

Are you for REAL?? Don’t hate Twitter but please make fun – oh and cool video and sweet pics. :)

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Maybe I’m still pepped up from yesterday’s post but I’m throwing out a little sass today with a list of “Are you for real?”zz

  • I spied with my own little eyes some REALLY SMART GIRL on FB who said in a status comment “another weekend and I would totally of gone”  Totally OF gone?  Maybe she should totally OF gone to skool so she’d be heaps smart likes me is.
  • Ok next – Twitter Haters – are you for real?  I know you SAY you’re too busy to tweet and all because you like have a life and stuff and I know you’re totally saying it like you’re so super self-important and have better things to do with your time – but for real?  GET OVER YOURSELF.
  • And now – Twitter-maker-fun-of-ers?? Please DON’T stop because you provide me with LOLs.  Like this awesomeness:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4te5cZa6sM[/youtube]

  • And yeah … I should probably go to bed now so we’ll stop there.  Except you should see this pic that I got from fannypackantics.com’s post – Purple Rain who apparently got it from fivestrongs.blogspot.com
  • touristcloakAre you for real?  HAHA!  That cloak is magically terrible and terribly AWESOME!
  • Oh can’t forget to add THIS beautiful product that I discovered on “This is why you’re fat” .com.  It needs no comment:
  • food-28

Alright then – I think I can end it there … yeah …

OH WAIT!!!!  Almost forgot this gem too.  One more for your viewing pleasure – picture from gofugyourself.com

57325995

I need those pants.  ;) Good night!!

You mean a kiss ISN’T a contract for marriage?

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I sent CC+4 who is now CC-450 a courtesy email yesterday to see how an appt. went because that’s what friends do and blah blah whatever who cares right?  right.  HOWEVER it reminded me of THIS POST which I never published.  But it’s a GGGRRRRR-ATE! one so please enjoy.

____________________________________

March 23, 2009

Ordinarily I would forward music onto CC-450 HOWEVER I’m afraid he may believe that a song is like the second witness signature (next to the kiss) on the contract for marriage? Say what? Are you confused yet? me too.

Someone, who will remain nameless but has 2 “C”s and a “-450″ in his code name, ACTUALLY ASKED ME, “You’re not like the type of girl who like… well you don’t think … I mean you don’t think if you kiss a guy it means …  umm … like you’re not one of those girls that thinks a kiss means like marriage are you?”

[pause.  long pause.]
[pause some more.  look to the side quizzically.]
[look straight again.  what did he just say?]

You’re not the type of girl who thinks a kiss is a contract for marriage are you?

Whew.  I thought maybe he said something else.  Glad we got that straight.

Umm hello!  OF COURSE I THINK A KISS IS A CONTRACT FOR MARRIAGE! And this is why, in pursuit of my dream to be the world’s most famous bigamist, I made sure to kiss him, Adorable Boy, Glitter Boy and another boy who will remain nameless all within the same week.  GASP!  DAISY!!!  You kiss slut!!!  How do you live with yourself?? Hey you – yeah YOU – the one judging me – I think that’s just about enough out of you. It wasn’t PLANNED – I mean – wait - just kidding.  It WAS PLANNED because hello?  How am I going to score myself 40 husbands unless I start knocking off those kiss contracts as quickly as possible?

(Though in all fairness to my image, I didn’t kiss any other boys in the northern hemisphere after I kissed CC-450.  No no – I’m a reformed kiss slut.  :D [insert I can't believe I'm writing this])

Wow – ok you still with me?  We’re getting close to the end. :)

Now look … I’m feeling guilty generous, so although I WAS going to count all of the ways in which what he said to me was like the WORST THING TO SAY TO A GIRL EVER (which would have been like a 12km long list) instead let’s just say – he shattered my dreams. Darn it! I’m going to have to rethink EVERYTHING now. If kissing boys doesn’t insure me those illustrious rings so many girls are chasing after – what do I do now?

Oh – oh hold up!  Wait wait.  Just had a thought!  this is a good one.  :) And I swear this is almost over.

Before I go doubting myself just because some boy wanted to make sure I know he isn’t interested in the R word [insert gee really?  thanks mr. obvious] … let’s think back.

Oh yes!  Yes I remember now!

I don’t have to have a broken heart quite yet. I remember now.  I DID get a memo on how kissing IS a contract for marriage. WAHOO!!!

He’s the one who is wrong.

Nice!  Score at LEAST one for Daisy!!  I’ll have to forward him the memo along with another sweet song. I’m pretty sure a diamond ring should come by FedEx in like at most a week right?  ;)

The latest bitter girl rock band – Tooth Brush Tree feat. Daisy ;)

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Ok – Writing Prompt (click here) 20somethingwriters.com.  Create an Album Cover, backstory and inspiration for your fictional music group based on 3 random texts from 3 not random sources.

album-cover-copy1

Toothbrush Tree is an edgy girl band with a passion for payback.  With track names like, “You’re my number one DB” and “You’ve been played – playa” to “I don’t get jealous” and “Take your double standards and shove em” you experience firsthand how these girls play the game.  Toothbrush Tree takes bitter lyrics and mixes them with booty shakin’ bass lines and groovin’ tempos so that sass and scorn never sounded better!  Before you know it you’re singing along to “I hate you.  Yes, yes I do.  You say wha? wha? I don’t care.  JustbcuzIkissedya doesn’t mean Iwannaknowya.”

  • Vogue Magazine called it “Empowering album for any woman who has ever felt neglected or scorned.”
  • Women’s Health raved, “Best new workout album for the summer.  Getting in shape as revenge against your ex never felt so good.”

It started while lead singer Daisy was living abroad in Sydney.  “I was fed up with the double standard.  I like to kiss boys.  I like to date.  I like to play.  But this doesn’t mean I fall in love with every guy I crush on.  This album was a way for me to explore the nature of double standards and men whose egos can barely fit into an auditorium.”

“The name ‘Toothbrush Tree’ came from the idea of always needing a spare toothbrush.  If you know what I mean.” [Daisy winks]  “Blindness of Strangers” refers to the idea that you don’t KNOW unless you KNOW.  Judging just isn’t cool.”

mag-cover-copy In a recent interview with RollingStone Daisy stated, “I hope this album reaches out to girls who are feeling neglected and misunderstood.  I want this to reach out to the women who are fed up with men thinking they’re in love with them.  And I want to reach out to the women who have been judged according to a double standard.  Stand up!  No more!  Be empowered.”

Only time will tell, but this reporter predicts Daisy’s gusto and attitude will launch her straight into multi-platinum status.

HAHAHAHAHA!  Ok – there you have it.  Sure sounds like I am a bit bitter eh?  Hmm.  Well it WAS just a writing prompt.  Or was it?  I guess only YOU can decide how much of the content REALLY has to do with my life right now (that is if any of it did.)  :)