Oh I bet you are just DYING to know.  *wink*  After one week of being “updated” I’ve discovered some VERY interesting things about myself.  AAANNNDDD very interesting things about the way men try and pick-up chics online … I’ve learned which techniques are OVER USED, which seem fresh, which ones are SO DUMB and which ones make me smile.  It’s quite fascinating really!!

So how do I filter?  Which guys make the cut?  How can I possibly make that decision?  It seems so … so … so… MEAN!  And judgmental!!

I mean seriously – what if this dude happens to be perfect but his game is just a little off at the moment?  HAHA!  No.   At the moment, with my time schedule, in order for Mr. Right to actually BE Mr. Right – he’s going to have to be playing up to par.  OR if he’s playing to be a bestie and isn’t interested in anything more – he’s going to have to be funny.  :)  I could use the laughs right now!!  *cheesy smile*

Anyway – please don’t take this blog the wrong way. Part of my therapy/learning is that I am supposed to try and be more discriminating with my time because I so often feel overwhelmed with social engagements or guilty for wanting to be the introvert that I am.  My therapist says it’s OK for me to prefer not to hang out with some people.  And it’s OK if I would prefer to spend more time with A than B.

And so in the world of online dating – this is a GREAT opportunity for me to practice my filtering skills.  For example – today I read an email from a dude whose profile says that he can’t stand femi-nazis or those who are pro-choice.  Ok – I respect he has opinions on the matter.  But “femi-nazis?”  OMGOSH – I’m against Nazis but femi-nazi??  What does that even mean?? Oh so he’s against women who are feminist?  Maybe he’s not secure with his manhood?  I don’t know – I just know that he and I are NOT compatible.

#1 – we’re prolly not compatible if you use inflammatory speech and state that you hate or can’t stand a specific group of people on your profile page.  Unless of course you just can’t stand people who can’t stand other people – cuz I’m with you there!!  I have no tolerance for prejudice.  But if you are intolerant of others’views – not cool.  The world is all shades of grey – if you only see two colors – we’re PROLLY not compatible.

Anyway … funny funny … I wrote back to this guy and flat out told him that I probably hit MOST of his red-flags being that I’m not super conservative, I DO believe in women’s rights and I DON’T have a fascination with guns.  I didn’t NEED to write back – but seriously – I thought it would be better to be blunt that I’m NOT his girl.

Oh heavens.  Heavens heavens heavens.  He wrote back and asked me how I could call myself a Christian.  Hmm … \

Maybe he forgot about the story where Jesus didn’t shun or hate the prostitute??

Right – and HE’S the one who is Christian …

Ok – enough out of me.  :)  I’ll keep you updated on the sweet world of online match-making as time goes on.  HAHAHAHAHA!

• I spied with my own little eyes some REALLY SMART GIRL on FB who said in a status comment “another weekend and I would totally of gone”  Totally OF gone?  Maybe she should totally OF gone to skool so she’d be heaps smart likes me is.
• Ok next – Twitter Haters – are you for real?  I know you SAY you’re too busy to tweet and all because you like have a life and stuff and I know you’re totally saying it like you’re so super self-important and have better things to do with your time – but for real?  GET OVER YOURSELF.
• And now – Twitter-maker-fun-of-ers?? Please DON’T stop because you provide me with LOLs.  Like this awesomeness:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4te5cZa6sM[/youtube]

• And yeah … I should probably go to bed now so we’ll stop there.  Except you should see this pic that I got from fannypackantics.com’s post – Purple Rain who apparently got it from fivestrongs.blogspot.com

• Are you for real?  HAHA!  That cloak is magically terrible and terribly AWESOME!
• Oh can’t forget to add THIS beautiful product that I discovered on “This is why you’re fat” .com.  It needs no comment:
• 

Alright then – I think I can end it there … yeah …

OH WAIT!!!!  Almost forgot this gem too.  One more for your viewing pleasure – picture from gofugyourself.com

I need those pants.  Good night!!

To mention just a few of the Fancy Dress Parties I’ve been invited to since arriving… there was a “Country Party” which wasn’t like hickville no-no you were supposed to dress up AS a country.  A “Carnivale Party” where I attached sequins to my jungle green bra, glued pearls and beads all over my body and TA DA! I was ready, set, GO!  An “Anything goes” party which really truly was no different than Halloween.  And then of course I was invited to an actual Halloween party which was ALSO no different than Halloween.  In addition there have been James Bond parties, Disco parties, Beach parties, Santa’s Naughty Helper parties – you get the picture.  This past weekend’s fancy dress party was a “Uniform Party.”  I went as a school girl.  YAY!  That’s because I AM a school girl. 

Anyway … here’s a little video of the party – enjoy!!

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/4457048[/vimeo]

____________________________________

March 23, 2009

Ordinarily I would forward music onto CC-450 HOWEVER I’m afraid he may believe that a song is like the second witness signature (next to the kiss) on the contract for marriage? Say what? Are you confused yet? me too.

Someone, who will remain nameless but has 2 “C”s and a “-450″ in his code name, ACTUALLY ASKED ME, “You’re not like the type of girl who like… well you don’t think … I mean you don’t think if you kiss a guy it means …  umm … like you’re not one of those girls that thinks a kiss means like marriage are you?”

[pause.  long pause.]
[pause some more.  look to the side quizzically.]
[look straight again.  what did he just say?]

You’re not the type of girl who thinks a kiss is a contract for marriage are you?

Whew.  I thought maybe he said something else.  Glad we got that straight.

Umm hello!  OF COURSE I THINK A KISS IS A CONTRACT FOR MARRIAGE! And this is why, in pursuit of my dream to be the world’s most famous bigamist, I made sure to kiss him, Adorable Boy, Glitter Boy and another boy who will remain nameless all within the same week.  GASP!  DAISY!!!  You kiss slut!!!  How do you live with yourself?? Hey you – yeah YOU – the one judging me – I think that’s just about enough out of you. It wasn’t PLANNED – I mean – wait - just kidding.  It WAS PLANNED because hello?  How am I going to score myself 40 husbands unless I start knocking off those kiss contracts as quickly as possible?

(Though in all fairness to my image, I didn’t kiss any other boys in the northern hemisphere after I kissed CC-450.  No no – I’m a reformed kiss slut.  [insert I can't believe I'm writing this])

Wow – ok you still with me?  We’re getting close to the end.

Now look … I’m feeling guilty generous, so although I WAS going to count all of the ways in which what he said to me was like the WORST THING TO SAY TO A GIRL EVER (which would have been like a 12km long list) instead let’s just say – he shattered my dreams. Darn it! I’m going to have to rethink EVERYTHING now. If kissing boys doesn’t insure me those illustrious rings so many girls are chasing after – what do I do now?

Oh – oh hold up!  Wait wait.  Just had a thought!  this is a good one.  And I swear this is almost over.

Before I go doubting myself just because some boy wanted to make sure I know he isn’t interested in the R word [insert gee really?  thanks mr. obvious] … let’s think back.

Oh yes!  Yes I remember now!

I don’t have to have a broken heart quite yet. I remember now.  I DID get a memo on how kissing IS a contract for marriage. WAHOO!!!

He’s the one who is wrong.

Nice!  Score at LEAST one for Daisy!!  I’ll have to forward him the memo along with another sweet song. I’m pretty sure a diamond ring should come by FedEx in like at most a week right? 

• Ultimate BFF’s name means someone who has an extremely small bladder and constantly has to pee.
• Daisy means “the one” – or a girl who stands out as being your perfect girl as soon as you see her. (also means total retard.)
• CC+4′s name means someone who can look amazingly sexy while doing nothing.  (I totally agree )
• FM’s GF’s name means someone who is set in her ways.

Haha – ok so that was fun.  I had a good laugh.  NOW let’s be cereal serious.  Some of the definitions on urbandictionary.com are street slang – REAL street slang.  They have taken words – any word – and created 50 kajillion definitions for each of these words.  Many of the definitions are in stark contrast to each other.

Why oh why is this happening?  How is this acceptable?

I fall prey to the lazy slang trap too.  I’ve been known to say something was wicked cool.  And CC+4 says “sick kick” – don’t worry- I didn’t know what that meant either.  I had to ask – at which point CC+4 laughed.

But I AM concerned about the declination of our language.  My teacher made a great comment in class on Tuesday.  She mentioned that regardless of the digitalization of our world – we still can’t communicate without a common language (which requires grammar and spelling rules – along with shared definitions.)  I agree.

There really IS a word for anything you want to say – and if you can’t think of it – it’s probably because you need to expand your vocabulary.  In fact – instead of taking regular words and making them mean different things – oh prepare yourself – I’m about to say something CRAZY – maybe we should learn the CORRECT word. Oh but that would require WORK (roll my eyes.)

Speaking of work -  I’ve started a new workout plan – YAY!  I now jog on the beach 3x per week with my FM.  And starting next week I reduce my caloric intake.  I want to lose 5 kg – wish me luck!! 

And as far as the word “Brutal” I’m pretty positive that the definition IS in fact “sitting in a 3 hour class with a teacher who turned off the lights, closed the blinds, had a messed up power-point, didn’t give us any breaks, and was a bit flustered – when it’s a beautiful 80F outside and all you want to do is go to the beach.”  Oh yes – that is most definitely the definition of the word brutal – and my class today fit that definition.

And NoooOoooOooo this is not a wikipedia picture – I took this one all by myself – TODAY. I didn’t die (yeah yeah – I know) and I finally fell back asleep, only to be woken by a buzzing.  Bzzzz.  Killer spiders and now killer moths AGAIN!  Apparently announcing my woes last night in my blog resulted in their recurrence.  (Wait – Daisy – do moths actually buzz? – I don’t know – but what else could be buzzing in my ear in the middle of the pitch black night?  Don’t answer that – I may be less scared of moths than whatever your answer is.)

Ok so I was up and at it by 6:30 this morning and you can imagine just how chipper I was after a night of almost no sleep.  Superduperchipper.  Though my mood lightened a bit when I caught the early bus which ended up being slow; HOWEVER it was filled with hotties.  Superduperhotties.  Man oh man – if only I had understood that correct train/bus time is critical for superduperhottie stalking I could have filled up my name page with like 40 more boys!!!

My first class was through this door.

Did I mention that I’ve switched from the Uni of Syd to the Ghetto Jungle?  I just hope they have hip hop inside.  Hip hop makes everything better.  No seriously – it makes everything better.  Even ice cream.  And pancakes.

Ok – that was weird.  Moving on!  I liked class number 1, I also liked class number 2 and I thoroughly enjoyed these local hang outs:

I noticed a couple interesting things on campus today.

1. My skirt was too short – but not as short as everyone else’s dresses and shorts.
2. I look as young or younger than many of the undergraduate students.
3. I’m about to turn 27 and there are 19-22 year old men/boys eying me.  I think this makes me a cougar?  Hmm … I suppose I’m ok with that.  FM’s GF and I discussed (outrageously!) that maybe to celebrate my entrance into the late twenties that I should date someone from every age between 19 to 26 before 2010.   That’s quite a lofty goal – 8 men in one year – but considering I went on 7 dates with 7 different men in only 6 days back in January 2009 (yes – it’s true) – I may be able to swing it.  AGH!  I’m a shocka!!!  The only difficulty with this “aspiration” is that I still have a stupid crush on CC+4 even though I know I’m being ridiculous by still having it – and since I’ve decided to look for substance I just don’t see how I can look for substance AND date hot boys based on their age.  Darn it – there goes that fab idea out the window!
4. Spicy Salmon rolls are NOT as good as Salmon and Avocado rolls.
5. And if I swing it correctly – lunch time could become my new networking/social endeavor.

Ok so this post is already outrageously long!  So I’ll sum up the rest of the day with a couple pics:

First Day of School Picture – I’m not sure what I’m listening to – probably one of the kick-A songs that CC+4 sent.  The “Hot Thing” one was sweet – but “Pop the Glock” was even better.  There’s also a chance I was listening to some Meiko – I love her songs “Reasons to Love you” and “Piano Song.”

What a crappy pic eh?  Oh well – on to the next.  First semester I met Bruce -  he is a kindred spirit and a life saver!!!!  Pic from Semester 1:

Pic from semester 2: Bruce says I look younger … but I’m pretty sure my name isn’t Benjamin Button.

It was amazing to catch up with Bruce – he is like a wise fortune teller.  Except he doesn’t predict the future.    He just has an uncanny knack for really understanding the HERE and NOW.

Next I saw the following sign – wteff?  and I learned another latin dance.

So there you have it.  A VERY long day.  Very very long.  I didn’t get home until midnight and feel like I haven’t slept for days.  I am SOOOOOO crashing tomorrow – and maybe doing some reading on the beach.  Which btw – I have some great points to make on the book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” – so maybe I’ll get to that this week.  Oh and I haven’t forgotten – I need to post my cricket video!  YAY!!!

Does anyone else salsa dance?  How long did it take you to learn?  I seriously suck.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsUK4mlv9m0&feature=related]

Today I went to a killer ABSOLUT party in Bondi (though in order to get in I had to change my name to “Adrea.”)  It was worth it!  SO FUN!  But now I’m beat!!!  According to the people I was with there were “heaps” of up and coming stars at the party plus a couple full blown celebs (umm … I think that’s supposed to be cool? refer to title of post) and then Of COURSE Captain Charisma was there (but of course HE didn’t have to change his name to get in like I did – because OF COURSE it was already on the list. roll my eyes.  He’s on every list to every exclusive party EVERYWHERE!)

He stopped and said “hi” and then sent me a text later – and then called me too. LOL!  I declined his offer to play tonight. As I’ve said before, Captain Charisma is ridicously good looking but not relationship material and tries to kiss me every time we “catch up” – which is flattering – and he is a good kisser – but … well … I’m over the part of my life where pretty faces are all that matters.  Now I’m looking for a little more substance.  It also wouldn’t hurt if his initials had a “+4″ on the end of them … then he’d have substance AND be hot. 

Hey but remember the snowman video I posted? (click here to view it) Apparently the good old Captain stepped outside of his usual self-absorbtion and watched it on my FB page.  And now takes delight in teasing me for it.  Roll my eyes.  I think I liked it better when he was completely self-absorbed. He even asked how my test on Saturday went!!! Say what??  CC+4 hasn’t even asked me that.  Hmm … the Captain really MUST be keen on catching up.  LOL!

Oh I ALMOST FORGOT!!!  I met some dude who used to host a show on TV a few years ago – but who cares.  Anyway – Mr. A list (roll my eyes) asked me for my number.  Then sent me a text later saying, “Admittedly, the process of getting your number didn’t go as smoothly as I’d liked!  That aside, it was still very nice meeting you and hope to be in touch soon.”  HAHA!  I guess even attractive actors who have had moderate success still get nervous around girls. lol.  Kinda cute.

The only problem?  He’s one of Captain Charisma’s friends…  (Roll my eyes.  It seems my friend Captain Charisma knows everybody who’s anybody – which is why I call him Captain Charisma.)  Oh the life I lead … I love it – but with my solid family values upbringing – well – I can’t help noticing how entirely empty the lives of these people are.  Sure I was at the party too – but this is their life day-after-day.  Just one party after another.  With lots and lots of alcohol.  It’s fun for me in doses – but I’m looking for a bit more …

The particularly important point in time I’m referring to is RIGHT NOW.  And RIGHT NOW I have more important things to discuss.  Like the REAL LIVE FARMER I met tonight at the Establishment (A Salsa Club.)  He almost had my heart until he said his dream job would be to sell pot for a living.

[awkward silence]

Alright-y then – I’ll let you guess how long it took me to excuse myself from that one.  (if you guess more than a minute – you are wrong.)  lol.

This morning was pretty rough.  I set my FB status to “Daisy is homesick.  Very, very homesick.”  I felt the prick of tears more than once and finally had to go for a walk to clear my head.

I’m in Sydney now – thinking about home isn’t productive.  Especially since I’ve only been back for 2.5 weeks.   2.5 weeks?  Oh boy – we’ve got a LONG way to go.  In fact, I’d almost say it seems my time in Sydney is interminable (score!  WOTD – word of the day – “interminable” was just used in a sentence.)  hooray!

Ok back to being homesick.  This is my home now.  This is where I live.  And it’s time to LIVE here.

My FM and his GF took me out dancing tonight – part of Operation Help Daisy Make A Name For Herself in Sydney.  I’m not sure if it was just being with them, experiencing a little taste of Sydney’s night life, or all of the hot men that checked me out but I had a wonderful evening and YAY I’m not as homesick.

And as far as Operation: HDMNHS – someone at the Salsa club tonight actually asked my flatmate, “Is her name Daisy?”   CRAZY!!  She recognized a picture of me from Facebook.  Oh why oh why haven’t I gotten an acceptance letter from the Uni of Syd yet?  Digital Communications is like PERFECT for me.  I even get recognized at Salsa clubs in SYDNEY from pics on FB!!!!  HAHAHA!  Seriously – LOL!  I love it! I may have started the day feeling as dreary as the sky above – but I ended it with a smile on my face.

My day started out great.   Not only did I get to talk to my Ultimate BFF, Matty Matt and my Mom on the phone but I also talked to CC+4 on Skype (insert insuppressible smile ) wait – I’m in a bad mood — what’s going on?  No smiling!!! This post is about why I’m FRUSTRATED not about some boy who makes me smile… it’s time to get SERIOUS! 

Back in SLC there was a radio station (X96) that published a list of “Things that must go” every Wednesday.  Today isn’t Wednesday and I’m not in SLC but I’m making a list of “Things that must go” anyway!  These aren’t in any particular order btw.

Things That Must Go!!!

1. Potatoes that explode in my oven because I forgot to prick them.  (HAHA- it’s so funny!  It sounded like a bomb went off in my oven.  LOL!!!!) – Wait – back to being serious.
2. People who leave food in the refrigerator until months after it expires. GROSS!
3. In relation to #2 – companies who neglect to put an expiration date on their packaging.  PUT AN EXPIRATION DATE ON YOUR FOOD!
4. People who flake out at the last minute leaving ME to do their part of the assignment.
5. The University of Sydney.
6. Boys who are like twice my age and who I did NOT flirt with but who ask me out anyway. NO!!!!!
7. People who say “____ Day is unlucky because 4 years ago I had a really bad day on that day.”  Umm – so did you have any additional bad days on that particular day?  “No” Hmm … Get over it!
8. People who think it’s OK to wear lavender Hawaiian prints with turquoise zebra prints.  (See pic at right)  HAHAHA!  Just teasing – these people should NEVER stop mix-matching patterns- it provides great amusement  And hold up – yeah that’s a little mean – but  I told you I was a super villain too. 

Wow!  Do I feel better already?  No.  But I’m getting there.  HAHA!  Just teasing.  I DO feel better.  Who wouldn’t feel better after seeing that picture?  lol.  And NOW I feel like I’m ready to try the whole baked potato thing again (without an explosion.)  After that?  HOMEWORK – which sucks.  But the GOOD NEWS is that I may get deported because the Uni of Syd can’t get their act together.  Oh wait … hmm …

Anyway – today I am happy to announce that I have discovered I have Extraordinary Obvious Pocket Locating Pow-ah (Power). Are you impressed?  Because you should be.  You see, as I mentioned in the linked post above, superhero powers that are a mouthful to say are better than those that are not.  And that means Extraordinary Obvious Pocket Locating Pow-ah is awesome by the title ALONE.  HOWEVER that’s not the ONLY reason why this power is so flipping sweet. No no, this power rocks because it gives me the ability to hide/store stuff – like cool superhero stuff – like lipgloss. 

Want to know how I discovered this cool power?  I found a “new” pocket on one of my skirts today and then – the VERY SAME DAY (which is still today) – I discovered that the “decorative” pocket on my super fly new hat is actually functional! Decorative AND useful. How cool is that?

So anyway – that’s my BIG news for today. Extraordinary Obvious Pocket Locating Pow-ah.  I can’t really top that.  It’s just too cool.  Oh wait – omgosh – I ALMOST forgot!  I can’t TOP that but I do have other important news.  I’ve fallen in love with lychees.  Have you ever had a lychee? (spelled “litchi” in the U.S.) YUM. I LUV them.

Ok – better start my homework. I’m the only one in my group who does the reading so I have to do 3x as much. Have a happy Friday! And please feel sorry for me as it’s going to be a scor-cha tomorrow (spelled “omgosh it’s so hot I think I’m going to die” in the U.S.) with temps close to like 1,000,000 Celsius and at least 134% humidity.  That’s hot.  So hot I won’t be able to wear my super fly new hat.  But hey – at least I’m a superhero. Do YOU have any cool superhero pow-ahs?