Category Archives: I appreciate a man who has smooth moves

Umm – Whaaat? Eew kissing is gross!

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HAHA!  Today I was so like “I’ll show him!” and then at the end of the night it was like, “D@@@@@mn – he showed me!”

Look the guy blew my mind with his wit and sarcasm the first night I met him and that same night after hours of conversation he ended the night with a peck – and only a peck – on my lips and walked away.  I was surprised yet happy about it – though BEWILDERED because the dumbdumb guy didn’t ask for my digits.  What?  Yeah he didn’t.

Well time went on and I ran into him again.  He confessed his dumbdumbness regret about the digits and then whisked me off my feet.  Pretty literally.  AANND he took no time at all to turn the peck from the time before into a little badaboom vroom vroom and we totally pashed.  [wait - no reprimands yet please.]

THEN we saw each other a few times and he pulled a DTR on me.  WHAT?  A DTR is a “Define the Relationship” talk where you decide if the badaboom really has enough vroom vroom to go anywhere. I was FURIOUS.  I had prevented and managed to escape any and all forms of DTRs for the past 2 years.  And then what – I go on like 2 or 3 dates with this dude and he’s asking me where it’s going?  Umm – No thank you please.  Go away.

So I told him I didn’t see it going anywhere and he was like, “That’s good because I was worried you may be looking for something and I really want to take this slow” and then he slowly faded from my daily life.  Hmm … surprise surprise right?  Who wouldn’t slowly disappear after what I said?  (let’s NOT mention how I also pushed away CC-450 by telling him I was dating tons of people right now even though I WAS dating significantly less because I really really liked CC-450 even though he APPARENTLY didn’t like me and ok? thanks! xo)

I’ve got issues!  I know!

So blah blah blah – I met up with this “wow” when I got back from holiday and he was so NOT wow.  In fact he was a total DB.  To the EXTREME.  And then FM forbade me from seeing him again.  Until finally TODAY I decided it’s been long enough and I could see him again.  :) But I strictly or not so strictly decided I was going to just be his FRIEND - a NO KISSING friend (we were always JUST friends anyway – whatever.)

Well I was doing well when I saw him.  He went in for the customary kiss on the cheek greeting but wait – hold up – he wasn’t going for my cheek – umm … what do I do?  umm … pause – awkwardness – dart left, dart right – darn darn – why did he just move when I went for his cheek?

UGH!  Look I TRIED to go for his cheek.  I did.  I promise.  But he was NOT going to let that happen.  So I got a smooch.  Which is WHATEVER because I KNOW he does that with his other friends – wait what?  Yeah – he’s like a kiss slut and NO that doesn’t mean he and I are destined to be together.

So then we had a lovely dinner.  We had a lovely chat after dinner and before we knew it we had talked for HOURS.  And then he drove me home (but in the American way which means we got into his car and drove to my house and not in the AUSSIE way which means something very different.)  At my house I said goodbye and went in for a kiss on the cheek again – because I’m strong like that :) and THAT was when he smooched me AGAIN! And THEN I pulled away and he stayed there.  And stayed there.  And stayed there.  And I was like, “Umm …”

Ok just kidding it was more like I went in for the cheek and didn’t feel bad at ALL when he went for the lips and then I pulled away but noticed he stayed so I went back.  hee hee.  I’m bad I know.

BUT GET THIS!  That’s it.  Yeah.  I know!

And then he asked me to come do some work for him on the side next week. Umm … ???      ????

Well alrighty then – that’s fan-flippin-tastic. We’ve gone from friends to friends who pash to friends who don’t talk to friends who smooch to business??  Wait – but that’s not what I had in the cards!!!  OOOH!  I got PLAYED!

Yes-sir-ee-bob I was played.

And I liked it. :)

Pick-up lines and the t-shirt that solidified my super-villian status

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Allow me to elucidate. ;) I did NOT join the popular Utah link-up site which will remain nameless for the purposes of dating. I did it as a – well – kind of as a challenge.  My BFF Matty Matt and I wanted to see how many profile views I would get in one week.  I hit 2nd most viewed profile and called it good.  I didn’t log on again.  Until today.

Why did I do it?  Because I was bored. I had to wait around for the FedEx guy to arrive and he was taking FOREVER!  Plus everyone knows that logging onto the internet is what you should do when you’re bored.  [umm ...]  So I logged on and updated my status. Within minutes of logging on I had ten new messages.  WHAT?  This site has tons of married people on it – it’s a “networking site” – but we all REALLY know that it’s mostly used for dating. So LUCKY me!  And you! Because I’m sharing the sweet messages I got today:

  • Why aren’t you married?  (yep that’s all it said.  Hmm … I know why YOU aren’t with THAT pick-up line!)
  • I’m an ex-cop now working in TV.  Hope to hear back from you. 
  • I stubbled across your profile.  Wanted to say hi.  (You stubbled?  I didn’t know that was a word.)
  • Dang!!!, I take it your done with utah? too bad I missed you  (no no sweetie – thank GOODNESS I missed you.)
  • Hey Red, how is your day?  I lived in Brisbane for 2 years.  btw I’m a Psychologist.  (Btw – I don’t care and don’t EVER call me “red.”)
  • What!  you went to the UofU and didn’t say hey to me.  Do you have any super powers? (YES I DO!!!  Omgosh. How did he know?)
  • Thanks for inviting me for a swim!  (What?  But I didn’t … umm … WHAT?)
  • What are your favorite guilty pleasures?  (Umm hello?  Go away gross-o.  This isn’t a drama class or a romance novel.)

The others (there were about 12 more by the end of the day) were either acceptable or slight variations of the above.  So what type of responses WILL get a reply from me? Ones that make me laugh. But mostly I just look at the profile pic :) and go from there.  Let’s be real here – it’s an online networking aka dating site – I’m allowed to be superficial.  :)

Here’s a pic from New Zealand last week.  My t-shirt says “Stop Youth Obesity” and there’s a chubby boy catapulting a skinny boy off a see-saw.  On a scale from 1-angel to 10-devil – my FM says this puts me at 12. But … but … but …

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My Australian Story Part 3 – Our Dance

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Do you ever feel like you need a week to just catch up on life?  Things have been so crazy hectic for me the past couple weeks – I feel like I’m behind on everything – including just THINKING!  I have been so busy I’ve barely had time to think!!  I keep wondering when things are going to slow down – get back to “normal” – but my life is just go-go-go.  I don’t see it changing either – I start an intensive summer school course in 2 days and then a new semester so yeah … But this is NOT a complaint.  I’m happy to be busy – I’m just a little surprised I guess.  )

So if you missed the background of “My Australian Story” you can click on the following links to catch up.  )

Where did I leave off?  Oh yes.  We locked eyes in the crowd and then he disappeared.

I was totally ok with it.  Say what?  It may surprise you to learn that I didn’t mind losing him in the crowd but I was in VEGAS of all places – not my ideal place to meet men (no matter how much electricity our gaze may have held.)  But then as I was weaving through a different crowd our eyes met again and my resolve to be stubborn weakened.  He was keeping me in sight – and I liked it.  And there was just something about him…

An exasperated Sheryl grabbed my arm and literally pulled me onto the dance floor.  She said we had to dance to give him the chance to find us.  I resisted.  We were in VEGAS!!  What was the point?

A very drunk Australian came over and tried to dance up on us.  His accent was so heavy.  I told Sheryl he was probably faking it.  LOL!  I ignored the Aussie until Sheryl grabbed me again and said, “What is wrong with you?  This guy is with your boy!  They’re from Australia and are just passing through Vegas for the night.”  Oh roll my eyes!  My already not-going-to-happen Vegas fling just turned into impossible.  He’s from another country?  Now there’s REALLY no point!!  (Btw – this was a year ago ok?  D I am not quite as negative now.  lol.)

And then there he was introducing himself to me, “Hi I’m Dave.”  Choke – cough!  Please he did NOT just say his name was Dave!!!  I hid my laughter.  It figures that would be his name.  Want to know how many Daves I’ve dated?  Too many.

We started talking.  Really talking.  His dating resume was impressive – intelligent, hot, fit, world traveler, ambitious etc.  He really WAS too good to be true – except there he was in front of me and it WAS the truth.

When he tried to kiss me 2 hours later I turned my cheek.   He didn’t give up.  I let him kiss me on the eighth attempt.

Oh if I could only describe the butterflies in my stomach and the smile on my face.  I tried to fight it … but there is no escaping your fate once you are on the right path.  We had to meet.  I had to meet him.  That chance encounter – the dance – the kiss … they were the pebbles tossed into the glass lake of my life whose ripples changed everything.

I spent 5 hours with him.  The chemistry was amazing.  The conversation was amazing.  We clicked.  And when we said goodbye he said the one thing I never expected.  “I WILL see you again.”

What?  How?  He was going back to Australia in a couple hours.  But he looked me directly in the eyes and said it again, “I WILL see you again.”  And as I walked away from him I believed it.  I didn’t know how it would happen – I didn’t know how the whole night had even happened.  But looking at him – those eyes – I knew he meant it.

He has kids??

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One of my girlfriends, we’ll call her Mrs. Know, and I were IM-ing this morning and she surprised me with information about Dance Dance.  My date with Dance Dance is this evening and she had no idea I was going to go out with him – can we say coincidence?  It piqued my interest and I asked her to tell me a little more about him.  Mrs. Know is known for 2 things – knowing everyone and knowing the skeletons of everyone.  I can’t count how many times I’ve shook my head and wondered “Why did she just tell me that?”  I usually respond to her gossip with, “So?  What does that matter?”  ) And it is for this reason I have not been privy to the latest gossip (that’s ok with me!)

I couldn’t resist the latest stream today since it had to do with Dance Dance.  Mrs. Know doesn’t spread anything that is false – she only scoops the hard facts.  Kids, divorces, real estate, schooling, arrest record, religious orientation etc.  These things still shouldn’t be spread around like piping hot honey on a piping hot scone but I’m grateful she leaves it at the facts.  (Though I wonder what she says about me!  I’ve heard some of it.  Oh Daisy?  Daze is my GIRL!  (she calls me Daze.) She’s awesome but just so you know she doesn’t really go to church.  Sure I’ll introduce you but just so you know she’s dated so and so and so and so and so and so…  blah blah blah – ah well – it is what it is.)

So the scoop about Dance Dance?  Nothing too critical except for one big problem!!!  HE HAS KIDS!!!  I thought those were his BROTHERS in his facebook pictures – not his kids!  He apparently has like an 11 year old and a 9 year old.  11 and 9?  I’m only 26!!!

So of course Matty Matt got an immediate text:  “What do I do?”   Matty Matt said, “Cancel.”

I IM-ed MIUB and said “What do I do?”  MIUB replied back with, “How hot is he?”  and then said, “Cancel.”  Oh MIUB – you are so predictable.

Hmm ….

Scott Pete said to give him a chance.

So what did I do?  I went on the date.  ) And I’m glad I did.

He was a perfect gentleman the entire night.  He’s smart, ambitious, sporty, cute, genuine, fashionable and scored major points when the appetizer came out and he double checked the ingredients to make sure I could eat it (I’m gluten intolerant.)  Yeah it made me remember that time MIUB knew I was gluten intolerant and picked a PASTA house as my last dinner with him before I moved.  Hmm …

Ah – but that’s what I loved most about MIUB – self-absorption is SO underrated!  ;)

Anyway – we were supposed to watch a movie afterwards but instead sat around talking for a few hours.  This morning I had a text bright and early saying he had a nice time last night and he thought getting to know me a bit was way better than watching a movie.  And I’m sure you won’t be surprised that an invitation to try the watch a movie thing again was extended.  And I accepted.  How could I resist?

Oh and did I mention he also sent me a text saying, “Hey I know a lot of great boutiques around here so if you need to do some shopping before you leave I’d love to join you.”  Wait – what?  With the exception of MIUB and Matty Matt there aren’t a whole lot of men up to the challenge of shopping with Daisy … hmm … he does know how to work it doesn’t he?

I think I’m seeing him again Sunday.  )

Dance Dance has some smooth moves

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I have a love/hate relationship with dating games.  But who doesn’t?   You don’t?  Are you telling me that you ALWAYS – always every single time without fail forever and ever and every single time in the past (I think that’s what always means) you ALWAYS hate them?  You’ve never even kinda sorta maybe smiled when someone used one effectively “against” you?    Not all the games are bad.

For example may I please present to you Dance Dance.  I met Dance Dance at the Sugaa Bowl party where the Utes DOMINATED!!  Ok the truth of it is that I’ve seen Dance Dance at other parties but WOW it’s amazing how many more boys have the courage to talk to you when you don’t arrive at the party with your male BFF.  (mental note: continue to arrive at parties with your male BFF.)

He got my number through the use of the very predictable “May I borrow your phone” ploy and then played it cool throughout the night.  And even though I refused to dance with him (I don’t dance with boys – though yes I DID dance with a certain boy in Vegas) he still found me at the end of the night.   He offered me the shelter of an umbrella and his arm so I could make it to my car without slipping in my heels (it was snowing.)  Ah – he’s a gentleman!

True to dating rules I had a facebook friend request the next day and then a facebook message a couple days after that … I decided to make it easy on him.  “Maybe we should try that hang out thing again sometime – except this time I’ll show up.”  You see I had previously declined an offer…

“Hmm” he says, “When?” Nicely done – he put me on the spot.
“Anytime from Thursday on.” I replied.
“Ok.  Thursday then?” Ooh he jumped right on that didn’t he?  No chance at backing out.
“Thursday’s great.” 
“Do you mind if we get dinner first?” he asked. Smooth.  Look I’m not a proponent of games but I do find myself very intrigued by a guy who can play it this smoothly.
“Sounds perfect,” I replied, “I’ll look forward to it.”

Well it looks like I just got roped into a date??  I think so.   I received a text from him today (this was written on Wednesday) confirming dinner for tomorrow at 7:00.  I confirmed and he asked for my address which I gave to him BUT I also included “May I meet you somewhere to make it easier?”

He ignored me.  Of course he did.  And I guess that answers the date question.   It’s a date!

We’ll see if this guy can keep it up.  So far he’s playing his cards better than expected.  Not to mention he is sure making LOSER look like an even BIGGER loser.

Loser’s text tonight:  Have you gone back yet?
Mine:  Not yet…
Loser’s text:  Then why aren’t we hanging out?
Mine:  Because it’s Wednesday.  Tuesday’s are so much better.  Oh I just love dishing out a little sass!  He had his chance.

If he’s smart he’ll hold me to my word next Tuesday – but I don’t think he’s that smart.