Category Archives: Dating Games Tricks and Tactics

Ok – here’s the gossip from the weekend

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Want to know what had my mom LOLing for AGES last night at around 1:10 am my time (which was around 9:10am her time the day prior)??  This little juicy gossip for you.  Woot!  Woot!  But FIRST let’s dish the scoop from the weekend.

Friday night I played with North Sydney.  North Sydney who?  Here he is in 141 characters or less:

He’s hot, funny, hypersensitive, self-absorbed, ambitious, has conflicted feelings 4 me & says we’re “friends with non-platonic inclinations”

So it was great fun to see him if you consider the fact that he “shares” with me all of the time how he’s let me into his life so much more than other people – and I “get” him and can “diffuse” him and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH – oh and he finds me attractive and enjoys kissing me (eew gross!) but we’re just FRIENDS.  Which is fine with me – really truly – but I don’t think FRIENDS should kiss.  SOOOooooo I think I’m going to have to put the X on the non-platonic inclinations.  We can be besties/BFFs and that will be FUN – YAY!  but no kissing.

Saturday night I played with North Sydney again.  North Sydney who?  JUST TEASING!  Same as above.  We went and saw Star Trek and I had to take a COAT into the theater with me because it gets THAT cold in there.  EVERY TIME.  Yeah I’m serious – I pack a coat every time I go to the movies.  And NO you sly little devils out there – cuddling is NOT an option to keep warm because 1 – we’re JUST FRIENDS and 2 – the stupid theaters don’t have those adjustable arm rests.  :)

Next up! Sunday.  After dinner with N. Syd on Saturday and his suggesting that I should give #3 a chance – #3 who? oh boy – here we go again.  #3 in 141 characters or less:

He’s hot, funny, super duper intelligent, way too motivated, incredibly energetic, older, spontaneous, and very intriguing – but a big drinker

YES N. Sydney DID suggest I should give #3 a chance – even though we (N. Syd and I) totally pashed the day prior. (pash = make out) Umm … right. ok so NO MORE NON-PLATONIC INCLINATIONS.  Grrrrr.  8o| (that was JUST FOR YOU MOM! oxox)

ANYWHO after work on Sunday I caught up with My Flattie (she’s so cute! and her BF is my Agony Uncle – SO CUTE!) and Uncle Agony suggested I send a text to #3 – yada yada yada – I ended up catching up with #3 for dinner HOWEVER because I had HOMEWORK I only agreed to meet him because he said he’d like to help me with my essay.

YES I WAS SKEPTICAL TOO!!!  Like WHAT?  Seriously – he wants to help me with my homework??  Right – and I went and saw Witch Mountain only because it looked realistic – it wasn’t because THE ROCK who is oh so hunky and fine now that he’s lean and trim was in it – no no no.  Uh huh – yeah right.  So why did I agree?  Because he made a convincing argument and happens to have firsthand knowledge in my area of study.

Dinner ended up not being dinner – apparently #3 had already eaten – WHAT?? But that’s ok because I got served piping hot chips (french fries) by the absolute most SMOKIN’ Canadian fire brigade dude.  When we left Mr. May (fire brigade) made sure to give me a personal invitation to come in ANYTIME and #3 commented that he was surprised Mr. May didn’t find a way to slip me his number.  (big sigh – he was so dreamy.)

Then #3 was like, “Come back to my place and we’ll actually WRITE your essay” and he was so super duper enthusiastic about it and I was like, “Umm it’s 9:30 pm – Yeah right x 100″ and he was like, “No for real” and I was like, “Not a chance under the moon” and he was like, “I swear.” and this is the Daisy abbreviated version of the conversation – I don’t think #3 has ever used the words “no for real” in his life.  ANYWAY – I took his solemn oath that we’d write THREE PAGES of my essay if I went back to his house.  STOP LAUGHING!!!

No seriously.  STOP LAUGHING.  And yes – this is why my mom laughed too.  Why?  Because I DID go back to his house and we DID work on my essay.  YES.  That’s right.  We worked on my essay. And then I went home.  Yep!!  HE WAS SO MUCH HELP!!!  He gave me a killer dramatic opening for the paper as well as a bangin’ closing line.  AND if that doesn’t score him triple quadruple double brownie points – I don’t know what would.

I’d say if this were Super Mario he scored a 1up – and it makes Mr. May look like Mr. Maybe Can’t Compete with #3.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Oqx2GqUvs4[/youtube]

Umm – Whaaat? Eew kissing is gross!

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HAHA!  Today I was so like “I’ll show him!” and then at the end of the night it was like, “D@@@@@mn – he showed me!”

Look the guy blew my mind with his wit and sarcasm the first night I met him and that same night after hours of conversation he ended the night with a peck – and only a peck – on my lips and walked away.  I was surprised yet happy about it – though BEWILDERED because the dumbdumb guy didn’t ask for my digits.  What?  Yeah he didn’t.

Well time went on and I ran into him again.  He confessed his dumbdumbness regret about the digits and then whisked me off my feet.  Pretty literally.  AANND he took no time at all to turn the peck from the time before into a little badaboom vroom vroom and we totally pashed.  [wait - no reprimands yet please.]

THEN we saw each other a few times and he pulled a DTR on me.  WHAT?  A DTR is a “Define the Relationship” talk where you decide if the badaboom really has enough vroom vroom to go anywhere. I was FURIOUS.  I had prevented and managed to escape any and all forms of DTRs for the past 2 years.  And then what – I go on like 2 or 3 dates with this dude and he’s asking me where it’s going?  Umm – No thank you please.  Go away.

So I told him I didn’t see it going anywhere and he was like, “That’s good because I was worried you may be looking for something and I really want to take this slow” and then he slowly faded from my daily life.  Hmm … surprise surprise right?  Who wouldn’t slowly disappear after what I said?  (let’s NOT mention how I also pushed away CC-450 by telling him I was dating tons of people right now even though I WAS dating significantly less because I really really liked CC-450 even though he APPARENTLY didn’t like me and ok? thanks! xo)

I’ve got issues!  I know!

So blah blah blah – I met up with this “wow” when I got back from holiday and he was so NOT wow.  In fact he was a total DB.  To the EXTREME.  And then FM forbade me from seeing him again.  Until finally TODAY I decided it’s been long enough and I could see him again.  :) But I strictly or not so strictly decided I was going to just be his FRIEND - a NO KISSING friend (we were always JUST friends anyway – whatever.)

Well I was doing well when I saw him.  He went in for the customary kiss on the cheek greeting but wait – hold up – he wasn’t going for my cheek – umm … what do I do?  umm … pause – awkwardness – dart left, dart right – darn darn – why did he just move when I went for his cheek?

UGH!  Look I TRIED to go for his cheek.  I did.  I promise.  But he was NOT going to let that happen.  So I got a smooch.  Which is WHATEVER because I KNOW he does that with his other friends – wait what?  Yeah – he’s like a kiss slut and NO that doesn’t mean he and I are destined to be together.

So then we had a lovely dinner.  We had a lovely chat after dinner and before we knew it we had talked for HOURS.  And then he drove me home (but in the American way which means we got into his car and drove to my house and not in the AUSSIE way which means something very different.)  At my house I said goodbye and went in for a kiss on the cheek again – because I’m strong like that :) and THAT was when he smooched me AGAIN! And THEN I pulled away and he stayed there.  And stayed there.  And stayed there.  And I was like, “Umm …”

Ok just kidding it was more like I went in for the cheek and didn’t feel bad at ALL when he went for the lips and then I pulled away but noticed he stayed so I went back.  hee hee.  I’m bad I know.

BUT GET THIS!  That’s it.  Yeah.  I know!

And then he asked me to come do some work for him on the side next week. Umm … ???      ????

Well alrighty then – that’s fan-flippin-tastic. We’ve gone from friends to friends who pash to friends who don’t talk to friends who smooch to business??  Wait – but that’s not what I had in the cards!!!  OOOH!  I got PLAYED!

Yes-sir-ee-bob I was played.

And I liked it. :)

Darn, darn, darn, I think I’m engaged again ;) & Things you should NOT do when hitting on me

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I shouldn’t joke about something so serious.  I’m actually quite outraged.  A kiss may be a contract for marriage but NOT WHEN THE KISS IS FORCED ON YOU!!!  Today’s blog project (I’ll explain the project another day) is to write a list.  I think that’s grand and all but I’m angry about tonight and want to vent.  SO – here is a LIST of things you should NOT do when you are trying to hit on me.

If you want to increase your odds of success when hitting on me DO NOT:

  • spill your drink on me.
  • step in front of my male friends who are talking to me because you think they are a threat.  I am not your prey you stupid pig.  [insert fake but sweet smile]
  • repeat yourself over and over and over and over and over again.
  • have wandering hands after I have REPEATEDLY TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF YOU STUPID SWEARWORD!
  • talk to me after you’ve drank so much that you’re an idiot (giving you the VERY GRACIOUS benefit of the doubt that you MAY have not already been an idiot before the drinks.)
  • mention, suggest or use the words -fate, destiny, kismet, karma, fortune- or anything that even resembles any of those words when speaking about our recent introduction.
  • tell me you’d like to apologize for your outrageous behavior and then try to kiss me.
  • blame your unacceptable behavior on the alcohol.  I met a nice hottie last weekend who had been drinking but was still respectful.
  • continue to attempt to kiss me even though I asked you to please stop trying to kiss me.
  • grab my arms and forcefully prevent me from walking away.
  • forcefully kiss me.
  • And last but not least – don’t be a mother effin’ jack@$#!!!!

I know I lived in a little bubble back home.  And I understand that my old school traditional upbringing has left me a little naive and ill suited for the REAL world.  I probably should have seen all of the above coming tonight – but I didn’t. And yes it all happened.  And yes it made me upset.

I broke down and saw an international student counselor at school 2 weeks ago.  Things haven’t felt right for awhile and I wanted suggestions to deal with the stress.  Want to know what she said to me?  “I don’t normally advise this.  But in your case, maybe going home wouldn’t be such a bad idea.  It’s worth considering.”

I didn’t want to hear that.

So we’ll pretend she didn’t say it- at least for now.  Instead let’s focus on the fun part of my day – here are a couple pics from my first experience at the races.

races 1

Me and my FM – yay!!  He’s a blast.

races 4

races 3

This is a new friend from school – she’s an absolute doll!

You mean a kiss ISN’T a contract for marriage?

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I sent CC+4 who is now CC-450 a courtesy email yesterday to see how an appt. went because that’s what friends do and blah blah whatever who cares right?  right.  HOWEVER it reminded me of THIS POST which I never published.  But it’s a GGGRRRRR-ATE! one so please enjoy.

____________________________________

March 23, 2009

Ordinarily I would forward music onto CC-450 HOWEVER I’m afraid he may believe that a song is like the second witness signature (next to the kiss) on the contract for marriage? Say what? Are you confused yet? me too.

Someone, who will remain nameless but has 2 “C”s and a “-450″ in his code name, ACTUALLY ASKED ME, “You’re not like the type of girl who like… well you don’t think … I mean you don’t think if you kiss a guy it means …  umm … like you’re not one of those girls that thinks a kiss means like marriage are you?”

[pause.  long pause.]
[pause some more.  look to the side quizzically.]
[look straight again.  what did he just say?]

You’re not the type of girl who thinks a kiss is a contract for marriage are you?

Whew.  I thought maybe he said something else.  Glad we got that straight.

Umm hello!  OF COURSE I THINK A KISS IS A CONTRACT FOR MARRIAGE! And this is why, in pursuit of my dream to be the world’s most famous bigamist, I made sure to kiss him, Adorable Boy, Glitter Boy and another boy who will remain nameless all within the same week.  GASP!  DAISY!!!  You kiss slut!!!  How do you live with yourself?? Hey you – yeah YOU – the one judging me – I think that’s just about enough out of you. It wasn’t PLANNED – I mean – wait - just kidding.  It WAS PLANNED because hello?  How am I going to score myself 40 husbands unless I start knocking off those kiss contracts as quickly as possible?

(Though in all fairness to my image, I didn’t kiss any other boys in the northern hemisphere after I kissed CC-450.  No no – I’m a reformed kiss slut.  :D [insert I can't believe I'm writing this])

Wow – ok you still with me?  We’re getting close to the end. :)

Now look … I’m feeling guilty generous, so although I WAS going to count all of the ways in which what he said to me was like the WORST THING TO SAY TO A GIRL EVER (which would have been like a 12km long list) instead let’s just say – he shattered my dreams. Darn it! I’m going to have to rethink EVERYTHING now. If kissing boys doesn’t insure me those illustrious rings so many girls are chasing after – what do I do now?

Oh – oh hold up!  Wait wait.  Just had a thought!  this is a good one.  :) And I swear this is almost over.

Before I go doubting myself just because some boy wanted to make sure I know he isn’t interested in the R word [insert gee really?  thanks mr. obvious] … let’s think back.

Oh yes!  Yes I remember now!

I don’t have to have a broken heart quite yet. I remember now.  I DID get a memo on how kissing IS a contract for marriage. WAHOO!!!

He’s the one who is wrong.

Nice!  Score at LEAST one for Daisy!!  I’ll have to forward him the memo along with another sweet song. I’m pretty sure a diamond ring should come by FedEx in like at most a week right?  ;)