Category Archives: I date a lot of losers

The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts

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You may or may not want to read this – either way – please don’t hold it against me – I’ll be back to regular programming tomorrow (or the next day.)  :)  Oh and before we start – I want to give shout outs to Deeleea and Frankly Scarlett.  Your friendships mean so much to me!!!  Luvs to you!!!!  Xx!~Daisy!!!!

The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts

My naive inner cyber child asked my grown-up real life self, “Daisy, where do cyber-babies come from?”  And I have to be honest – I was a little stumped.  Cyber babies?  Wtheck?  And why do I have an inner cyber child?

Anyway, it has been my unfortunate experience as of late, to be the target of cyber-pressure.  Say WHAT??  Yeah.  I know.  I was shocked too.  WTHECK??

Call me naive but I had no idea how similar cyber-dating was to RL dating.  IN FACT – it’s actually worse than real life dating.   Why?  Because I added the word CYBER to the front of it.  And not only does that make it SOUND worse but it also allows for a whole new breed of douchebags.  Cyber Douchebags.  And guess what?  Cyber Douchebags are SUPER douchebags.

So right here and now – I’d just like to throw it out there that I have a Cyber Chastity Belt.  And GUESS WHAT??  I don’t lower my standards just because YOU have an iCloak of anonymity which gives you more courage to cyber hit on me.  And want to know what else?   I kind of  think you’re cybersluts!  Yep.  Cybersluts.  And cowards.  Maybe I’m wrong but I have a feeling you wouldn’t DARE speak to me that way in real life.  And if I could CYBERSLAP you, I would!!!!!

HOWEVER – with that said – I think it’s completely different when two people are getting to know each other and start cyber flirting and having a little cybersexy time.  That’s normal.  And I think it’s kind of fun to have an iCrush on someone.  In fact I DO have an iCrush on someone :)  BUT!!!!! What’s NOT normal are all the dudes from UTAH fronting to be religiously devout and “ohsoMoral and wonderful” but are REALLY cyberdirty and gross!   Oh SNAP!!!  Yeah – I did  - I went there.  I said it – and I think it’s time more people started taking a stand against cyber douchebags!!  Do you really think that morals don’t translate into the digital world?

There will be no iBirds and iBees busy making iSpring happen on THIS computer with any Cybersluts.  I have cyberstandards and iMorals!!!!    And I’m not going to have a one-night cyber-fling with you just because you think the internet is a guilt-free realm.  It shouldn’t be!!!! and I DO think your computer has a virus and I DON’T want it to infect mine.

I’ve got a super-fire-wall-cyber-chastity-belt.

And just like in REAL LIFE – in my CYBERLIFE, I can’t be PRESSURED into any cyberGROSS with you.

Making hamburger patties out of MY HEART! and a couple wicked cool pics.

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Oh boy – I don’t know if you caught my last post but here’s a little reminder of what you missed

PART 3

If you can’t tell – I MAY have been a LITTLE crabby that night with my ghetto beach-bum rock-band SUCKING neighbors – and because of a few other things like the fact that MEN DON’T HAVE HEARTS!!!  BUT!!!  GUESS WHAT????  LAST NIGHT I WAS EVEN MORE CRABBY!!!!

MORE!!

Hard to believe – I know.  But it’s true – or at least it WAS true for the whole of a couple hours until a hot knight in damp armor (it was raining outside) rescued me from my rottenness and I got over it – temporarily.

So what could have temporarily made Daisy  MORE crabby than all of those crabby emoticons above??

Oh I don’t know … maybe the fact that North Sydney aka CommitmentPhobe aka Ultimate Douchebag aka HE’S DEAD TO ME decided to call and RIP out my heart – total gory Halloween style – and SMASH IT UP INTO A NICE MUSHY MUSHNESS and FRY IT UP LIKE A HAMBURGER.

For those of you who can’t keep up with all the soapyness that is the opera of my life – here is the QUICKEST RECAP EVER:

We dated a bit, I hated him for a bit, I fell in love with him for a bit and TWO weeks ago he told me he was ready to take a chance on love (this was TWO WEEKS AGO!!)

LAST NIGHT he called to tell me HE HAS GOTTEN BACK TOGETHER WITH HIS EX from two years ago THAT HE’S ALWAYS TOLD ME HE COULDN’T STAND and THEY’RE THINKING OF MOVING IN TOGETHER!

Say WHHHAAATTT???  Two weeks he told me I WAS THE ONLY GIRL IN HIS LIFE.  Right.  Can we say DOUCHEBAG??

My mom says he’s dead to us.  So guess what??  I hope he DOESN’T rest in peace and GUESS WHAT ELSE??

This is his official Daisy Blog Obituary.

CommitmentPhobe was really cool until he turned into a weird-o freak.  Ultimate Douchebag was always a douchebag.  And although I fell in love with North Sydney and his child and although he loved me in his own twisted way too –  he only loved me as his emotional and relationship CRUTCH and it’s time to let him walk all on his own.   Good Riddance!

And if I could stick my tongue out in childish glory – I soooooo would.  But he’s “dead” to me now – and to my mom – so I think it’s time to live it up a little in Sydney before I go home.  Watch out!  I usually take the high road…

but I think it’s time to take a walk on the wild side.

in other news, I took these really cool photos that you may or may not have seen on my other blog 4, 5, 6, ELEVEN Petals.

Do men have hearts, feelings OR the ability to fall in love?

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Here’s the one-sided conversation I had with my mother today.  It WOULD have been TWO sided but she was still asleep.  And WHY am I still awake??  PROLLY cuz my really cool neighbors are outside playing rockband with trashcans and sticks.  I’m sorry but seriously – karaoke is NOT cool to hear at 1:30 am.  And it’s ESPECIALLY not cool when you can hear the microphone make that whiney terrible rotten noise as it get too close to the speaker (how do they have speakers if they have to use garbage cans for DRUMS??) and if you can imagine it being EVEN WORSE THAN THIS well guess what??  The dude singing?  Is out of tune.  And kinda sounds like a creaky gate swinging on its rusty hinges.  You know that sound?  You know?  It just kinda makes you want to shudder.

Ugh.

Anyway – back to the one sided convo – I’m good at these….

part 1

PART 2

PART 3

North Sydney got a similar email.  And no – I’m not bitter AT ALL!  nope nope nope – I’m in a FABULOUS mood.  hmphf!!

Life is more fun with love

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After -3 told me he loved me, asked me to imagine what it would be like to be pregnant with his kids, suggested that we could “mix our genes” one day, and sent me $350 worth of Victoria’s Secret AND THEN DUMPED ME 4 DAYS LATER!!! I decided to spend an additional week in Utah mending my broken heart.  Ok ok – mending my wounded pride.

ALRIGHT FINE!!!  Also mending my broken heart.  Stupid -3.  I actually DID imagine having kids with him, imagined a life with him – blah blah blah sappy sappy sappy – let’s just say – I liked my imaginings.  And now??  Now I imagine how great I will look in that sexy lingerie parading in front of a mirror – or maybe (mom just skip the next sentence) MAYBE even ONE DAY parading it in front of a hot rebound.  HAHA!  -3 had asked for pictures and then when he DUMPED me he very astutely observed that “I probably won’t be getting those pictures now will I?”  NO.  Haha – actually I think he will!!  A couple sexy pics (NOT SCANDALOUS THOUGH – I’m from UT) wouldn’t hurt him would it?  In fact I think it would be incredibly gracious of me – a nice way to say “Thank you!” and “Please feel sick at what you are now missing out on.”

Oopsie!  Did I just say that out loud?  NOPE!  But I did type it on a public blog so I think that’s CLOSE enough.

Anyway – back to the point.  I got a little distracted for a second talking about the old man (did I mention he was 42?)  Anyway … because I decided to stay an extra week in Utah I’ve taken this opportunity to spend as much QUALITY time as possible.  :)  YAY!!!  I love quality time.   Quality time = time with my dogs, time with my nieces and nephew and time with my family and close friends.  YAY!!!

BTW!!!  HUGE UPDATE!!!  Everything is back to normal with my family.  I heart them with my ENTIRE HEART (and always have.)  And I hear I have a pretty hefty heart so that’s a LOT.  :)  And it’s been a wonderful dream to spend time with all of them like we used to before things went a little sour.  Nothing better to heal a heart than a little unconditional family love.  oxoxoxoxo

Here’s a little video of some of my family – we’re just being silly and having fun.  This is what I call quality time.  :)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjBa-0l3BGM[/youtube]