Throwing caution to the wind…

“Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.”  - Bertrand Russell

Longtime blog followers may remember the cruise I went on 2 years ago.  Last minute, spontaneous – it felt right.  I didn’t even KNOW about the cruise until two days before it began.  And I had to postpone my departure to Sydney for an extra week to go. It is no stretch to say it was really, really, really, really a completely unexpected turn of my heart.

And THIS (on the cruise) is where I met him.

Fast forward to a few blog posts ago.  Turning my life upside down – or right side up.  Following my heart brought me back to my best friend, it gave me the balance I was seeking, the inner peace I had lost.  And it reminded me that I am surrounded by so much love!!!  Aaaannnd that same weekend – at the MMA fight – I met him again.  The boy in the picture above or below.  ;)

Or rather I should say, he made it a point to come over and ask me if I remembered him.  (:  Of COURSE I did.  This boy isn’t really the forgettable type. (plus he can dance!!)

But then October started and I had a lot of focusing-on-self to do (which I did btw!!  I successfully did all of that stuff for the whole month!!!  YAY!!!) and so I didn’t see him again.  Well not right off anyway.  He was patient.  And when we finally DID go on a date (which I didn’t actually realize was a date – HAHA!) we hit it off.

He makes me laugh.  And he makes the world seem brighter.  And so we saw each other again.  And again.  And again.  And it’s crazy and ridiculous and amazing and beautiful that I feel the way I do about him.

We spent Thanksgiving with his family.  We dropped the L word… and I know that’s insane!!  Like seriously – I know!!!  But I also know I’ve never said it more sincerely.  I both respected and admired him BEFORE we ever decided to “date”.  And I went into this seeing both the good and not-as-good parts.  But I love it all.  All of him.

And yeah… he loves all of me!  And accepts me, skeletons and scars included.  It’s crazy and ridiculous and amazing and unbelievable that he feels the same way about me.  HAHA!  Especially since he’s LEAVING in a couple of weeks to go live in another country.  (karma sucks eh?)

But we’ve decided to throw caution to the wind.  Love is love and it feels right.

Am I a little scared?  Sure … but not really.  The odds are a bit against us.  But ultimately we’d rather have a short-lived, amazing, life-changing love that has the potential to be more than short-lived than deal with an eternal “what if?”  And so we continue.

And…for as long as our hearts guide us, we’ll walk into the unknown together, hearts smiling and inexplicably tied to one another.

The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts

You may or may not want to read this – either way – please don’t hold it against me – I’ll be back to regular programming tomorrow (or the next day.)  :)  Oh and before we start – I want to give shout outs to Deeleea and Frankly Scarlett.  Your friendships mean so much to me!!!  Luvs to you!!!!  Xx!~Daisy!!!!

The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts

My naive inner cyber child asked my grown-up real life self, “Daisy, where do cyber-babies come from?”  And I have to be honest – I was a little stumped.  Cyber babies?  Wtheck?  And why do I have an inner cyber child?

Anyway, it has been my unfortunate experience as of late, to be the target of cyber-pressure.  Say WHAT??  Yeah.  I know.  I was shocked too.  WTHECK??

Call me naive but I had no idea how similar cyber-dating was to RL dating.  IN FACT – it’s actually worse than real life dating.   Why?  Because I added the word CYBER to the front of it.  And not only does that make it SOUND worse but it also allows for a whole new breed of douchebags.  Cyber Douchebags.  And guess what?  Cyber Douchebags are SUPER douchebags.

So right here and now – I’d just like to throw it out there that I have a Cyber Chastity Belt.  And GUESS WHAT??  I don’t lower my standards just because YOU have an iCloak of anonymity which gives you more courage to cyber hit on me.  And want to know what else?   I kind of  think you’re cybersluts!  Yep.  Cybersluts.  And cowards.  Maybe I’m wrong but I have a feeling you wouldn’t DARE speak to me that way in real life.  And if I could CYBERSLAP you, I would!!!!!

HOWEVER – with that said – I think it’s completely different when two people are getting to know each other and start cyber flirting and having a little cybersexy time.  That’s normal.  And I think it’s kind of fun to have an iCrush on someone.  In fact I DO have an iCrush on someone :)  BUT!!!!! What’s NOT normal are all the dudes from UTAH fronting to be religiously devout and “ohsoMoral and wonderful” but are REALLY cyberdirty and gross!   Oh SNAP!!!  Yeah – I did  - I went there.  I said it – and I think it’s time more people started taking a stand against cyber douchebags!!  Do you really think that morals don’t translate into the digital world?

There will be no iBirds and iBees busy making iSpring happen on THIS computer with any Cybersluts.  I have cyberstandards and iMorals!!!!    And I’m not going to have a one-night cyber-fling with you just because you think the internet is a guilt-free realm.  It shouldn’t be!!!! and I DO think your computer has a virus and I DON’T want it to infect mine.

I’ve got a super-fire-wall-cyber-chastity-belt.

And just like in REAL LIFE – in my CYBERLIFE, I can’t be PRESSURED into any cyberGROSS with you.

My stupid horoscope day 8 – guess JUST FRIENDS is best

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Now playing: Akon – Beautiful
via FoxyTunes

Want to know what I like to call a BIG SUCKS??  When I decide I’m into a dude only to decide I’m going to follow my horoscope for a month only to find out that my horoscope says we should JUST BE FRIENDS!!! Say WHHHAAAATTT???

Yeah – that’s what it said.  The EXACT words??  Beautiful Venus is quite active today in your 5th House of Love and Romance, possibly increasing your desire to spend quality time with someone you love. But there’s no need to add complex layers of attachment to a new or existing relationship, for the real gift of this transit is to bless you with the ability to live joyfully in the here and now.

Lame.  But at the same time??  True.  DANG IT!!!!

I DID spend quality time with North Sydney today.  Want to know what we talked about??  My feelings for CC+4.  Yes – go ahead and shake your fists at me – roll your eyes – whatever you must – but North Sydney kissed me the last time we hung out AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??  He had another mini freak out and had to distance himself again in order to prevent himself from getting TOO close to me.  Whatever.  So since he was in super FRIEND zone he asked me to tell him the story about the cruise.  So I did.

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Now playing: Kid Cudi – Day ‘N’ Nite (Crookers Remix)
via FoxyTunes

And THEN when I was FINALLY BRAVE ENOUGH

I told him that I can’t kiss him anymore if it’s going to make him withdraw from me.  The fact is that I adore him – I care about our friendship and I LOVE spending time with him.  And if he can’t do a relationship right now – ok.  I’d rather be his friend with no kissing than have him be so scared of getting close.

AND THEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE’S SCARED OF GETTING CLOSE TO ME

And he couldn’t answer that one.  So what did I do??  I kissed him goodbye – a good kiss.  ;)  And now he can think about it.  But the fact of it is – my horoscope is true – I should enjoy the time I spend with him and not worry about anything more.

at least for now …

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Now playing: Hilary Duff – Reach Out (Bonus Track)
via FoxyTunes

Day 7/365  Reflections in the glass – a girl should always own a pearl necklace

7/365 Reflections - a girl should always own pearls

Reflection in the window

AAANNNDDD  Reflections in my eyes … click HERE for the original size – you can see the green grass and the blue sky in my eyes

At Sydney Uni - Walking Around

Horoscope Month Day 1 – battlefield or dancing??

Oh get ready for this!!!

Daisy’s horoscope came true!!

- mostly. :)  And what does that mean?  Cue soap opera music please – but make it COOL music – like with a hip beat k?  Thanks!!  It means that I have a little soap opera blissness for y’allz.

INTENSE BATTLEFIELD

Keeping my NONCOMPETITIVE goal in mind today I was delighted to speak to an old friend on IM this morning.  We have often misunderstood each other – in like full blown semantic WAR – because our articulation choices are very, very VERY different – but what do you know??  Oh yeah – we figured it all out.  NO JOKE!  And I look forward to chillaxing with him soon.  :)  YAY!!!

DEEP FEELINGS OF MAGICAL INTENSITY

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore my Australian BFF?  Did I also mention that he was the leading star of the ORIGINAL Days of My Life in Bondi 2026??  Well you can imagine that our on and off again “non-platonic inclinations” lead to a very – umm – confusing relationship.  Sometimes I get a kiss on the lips as a greeting (ok I always get one) and sometimes I DON’T get a kiss goodbye??  What??  Sometimes we have plans to spend ALL DAY together – other times it’s like, “ok I’ll meet you here and drop you off after.”  Hmm … complicated.

But it’s ok because I ADORE him.  And he tolerates me (heehee) ;)

So there I was – sitting at his computer helping him fix something when he has me get up so he can sit down.

He pulls me into his lap

I’m thinking – hmm – ok – wow he’s sure making a lot of eye contact with me.  I mean – I’m like IN HIS LAP RIGHT NEXT TO HIS FACE!!!  Does he NEED to be staring at me?  NOPE.  But I like it (clear my throat) I mean EEEW GROSS HE HAS COOTIES!!!

The eye contact continues.  Hmm – wow ok we’re definitely making a LOT of eye contact.  In fact – I don’t think he’s looked at that computer screen – AT ALL.  Is he going to kiss me? But … but … didn’t he just tell me he doesn’t want complicated??  Didn’t he tell me only YESTERDAY that Captain Charisma would be a good “phone-a-friend?”

I look away.

I look back.

Hazel eyes looking deep into mine.  I adjust my position so that I can look at him directly.  I’m nervous.  Am I ready for complicated??

He takes a hand, traces it down my back and then pulls me close.  WHICH IS REALLY CLOSE BECAUSE UMM HELLO??  I was already sitting on his lap!!!  I look up at him and as his lips touch mine I’m swept off my feet as if I’m as light as a feather – and I am SO not as light as a feather – but there I am – in his arms, whisked off my seat ;) quite literally and want to know what happens next??  Complicated goes out the window.    Probably the same open window that was letting in the softest sea breeze.

The next thing I know we’re on the love sac staring at the harbour, cuddling.

YEAH CUDDLING!

This is a G rated blog  :)

We spend the rest of the day together and he kisses me goodbye.

When will I see him again?

I have no idea … but day one of the horoscope was pretty fun!!! (oh and don’t forget to head over to ScoMan’s blog and see how day one of his horoscope month ended up :)

TOMORROW

Including others in your plans is a good idea now, for it will ultimately make your day more efficient and also more fun. A close friend or partner could be holding an important key to your future, and if you don’t involve anyone else, you’ll never know what might have been possible. Don’t let an old fear of failure sabotage your current dreams by discouraging you before you even start.

SAWEET!!!  Tomorrow I am making PLANS!!!  Wahoo!!!  :)

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT!!!  As inspired by AussieErin I’m starting my very own 365 Day Project :)  Here’s day one – I only get to submit one – I chose the bottom one.  :)

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Dancing on the soccer field – I confess to CC+4

I know what you’re probably thinking … you’re probably thinking I have some sort of ill wish on my heart because I keep hanging out with CC+4.  Why would I do that???  The more time we spend together the more we get to know each other – the more we get to know each other the more we like each other – and the more we like each other the more fun we have.  I can’t resist – and even though I know the more fun we have the more sucky the goodbye will be again when I leave him a second time on Monday -

I can’t resist.

-3 was a total douchebag for so many more reasons than I ever was willing to blog about – but he was right about one thing.  I wasn’t into it 100%.

I couldn’t be.  Here’s another pic from that boating day …

CC+4 and Daisy

I’ve said all along I needed resolution with CC+4 before I’d ever be able to give my heart fully to anyone else – and coming back to Utah – realizing that CC+4 is the ONLY person who can tempt me away from my reclusive family life – and yeah – I don’t know where I’m going with this – but you know that feeling when you’re in a crowded room, or stadium, or party but you feel completely secure, almost oblivious to the chaos around?

The world kind of disappears when I’m with CC+4 -

I’m THAT into him.

Last night he asked me out on a proper date.  He invites me to do things ALL OF THE TIME but generally I have other plans and yeah – anyway – it was Pioneer Day yesterday so we went to a Major League Soccer Game – he was fun and flirtatious – looked fly as always – and we were with a big group and he made sure that everyone knew he was taken for the night.  lol.  After the game we went onto the field to watch the fireworks – he held me close and we sat away from our group.

AAANNNDDD then AFTER the fireworks -

the stadium lights turned on

and there in the middle of the soccer field …

he grabbed me and we danced.

Yes – we danced.

He spun me around, held me close, danced me in circles and put #3′s elevator dancing to complete shame. lol.  I’m teasing – but let’s compare.  A quick dance in an elevator – a long dance in front of tons of people on the field of a major league soccer field? I guess it’s not just Australians who know how to romance a girl.

And as a quick fyi – my FM should be proud – we salsa-ed.  :)

After the fireworks we went back to his house for a party and then snuck away.

And that’s when I did it!!!  Oh wow – this was a big one.

I’m new at this heart-to-heart define-the-relationship stuff so I didn’t go THAT far but here’s how it went …

Me – “You  make my life complicated.”

Him – “What??  I make your life complicated?” He chuckles.

Me – “Yeah – you know how you kinda had a GF when I first got back?” – he nods – “Well I kind of had a BF too.” – SHOCK on his face.  I continue – “He was really nice.  We had fun – he told me he loved me about a week ago – we talked about having kids – blah blah blah – and then he dumped me a couple of days later.”

Him – laughs in surprise – “He told you all of that and then broke up with you?”

Me – “Yep.  He said I wasn’t into it 100% and he was right.”  I give him a long sultry look ;) and then look away a little shyly.  I continue – “It’s hard to be 100% into someone when you’re in Utah and into someone else.” pause –

We lock eyes for like what feels like forever and

then he kisses me.

I don’t even think I’ll see him again before I leave – tonight he’s out of town – tomorrow is my family farewell dinner and tomorrow he’s headed into the mountains for his best friend’s bday party – I was invited – but family first …

I leave Monday …

Now what??  Will he get scared off?  Will we continue our long distance friendship?  Will I see him again?  Only time will tell … but my fingers are crossed…

And this is not related but I la-la-la-LOVE this pic – my niece and my sister-in-law (her mom.)  She’s so funny – AND she’s met CC+4 and she not only likes him but asks me when she’ll see him again.  Big bonus points for CC+4 – he’s GREAT with kids.

BRECKY VERSION BLACK AND WHITE WITH GREEN