I’m not going to lie – I think I have this online dating thing about figured out.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I’m kidding – kind of.  Ok the fact of it is – that I had no intention of pursuing online dating AT ALL but then I met some dudes who seemed to be pretty cool and as I engaged in contact with them I realized there were similarities in relationship patterns.  It’s quite fascinating!!!

Oh and watch for my upcoming book “Online Dating for the Dense.”  HAHAHAHAHA – just kidding – for real this time – well 90% for real.  I think I COULD prolly write a book on my studies but we’ll save that for another post.

Step Seven – A pretty big deal

Step seven is a pretty crucial step in online dating.  Yeah – that’s right – it’s a pretty big deal.  No more hiding behind words – the dude you’re talking to will now be able to HEAR you laughing at him, HEAR the cynicism in your voice, HEAR excitement – whatever – he can HEAR it.  And omgosh – don’t let me forget – umm – say hello to AWKWARD PAUSES.  (though nothing is worse than an awkward pause on skype – but that’s like level NINE so we’ll discuss that another day.)  So yeah – voice calls – a pretty big deal.

Timing is Key – calling too soon

WHY??  It’s just a phone call!!  Well because you need to make sure the timing is right.  Accurate voice call timing is crucial. Too soon and you may find yourself ending the phone call being like, “Umm alright -so yeah …” and you feel like you SHOULD say, “Talk to you soon” but you know you’re NEVER going to talk to him again so it’s a bit awkward.  PLUS if he’s all like, “This was great – I’m so glad we talked” blah blah blah – well – you feel even MORE awkward when you realize you don’t want to talk to him again.

Timing is Key – waiting too long

And then you have the other side of the fence – waiting too long before the voice call.  When this happens – you’ve been instant messaging so long that you already have an idea of how you think the other person sounds – or reacts – or just IS.  You THINK  you have an idea of their personality and then because of course you’re wrong – when you hear their voice you’re like, “omgosh – you sound like a nasal-y star trek geek who probably studies vulcan in your time off.”  WHAT DO YOU DO THEN??  Here you had these great expectations and then you talk to him and you have a mini online dating crisis.  Is this guy his voice??  Or is he his words??

Phone Calls – Golden!!

ANYWAY – if you’ve already made it through the first six steps of online dating and are prepared to take it to the next level – it’s a good sign.  Buuuutttttt – BEWARE.  Voice calls are not all they’re cracked up to be.  (haha especially if your voice cracks while talking.)  HOWEVER it’s not all gloom and doom.  Sometimes you talk to someone on the phone and are pleasantly surprised.  Suddenly you’re like, “Omgosh – I could totally see myself talking to you on a continual basis – you’re fun!”  And THAT is pretty dang cool.

Oh wait – let’s not get too excited yet.  Let’s be real – if you feel that it went SO AWESOME there’s a good chance he thought YOU sounded like a 16 year old girl who giggles too much.

Yeah – such is my life.  I bet you can’t WAIT to read about Webcams.  ;)

ANYWHO – Tonight I watched the sun set …

It was pretty.  :)

And because I heart me some seagulls :)  Here are a few of them:

(I hope you love these pics ScoMan.)

The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts

My naive inner cyber child asked my grown-up real life self, “Daisy, where do cyber-babies come from?”  And I have to be honest – I was a little stumped.  Cyber babies?  Wtheck?  And why do I have an inner cyber child?

Anyway, it has been my unfortunate experience as of late, to be the target of cyber-pressure.  Say WHAT??  Yeah.  I know.  I was shocked too.  WTHECK??

Call me naive but I had no idea how similar cyber-dating was to RL dating.  IN FACT – it’s actually worse than real life dating.   Why?  Because I added the word CYBER to the front of it.  And not only does that make it SOUND worse but it also allows for a whole new breed of douchebags.  Cyber Douchebags.  And guess what?  Cyber Douchebags are SUPER douchebags.

So right here and now – I’d just like to throw it out there that I have a Cyber Chastity Belt.  And GUESS WHAT??  I don’t lower my standards just because YOU have an iCloak of anonymity which gives you more courage to cyber hit on me.  And want to know what else?   I kind of  think you’re cybersluts!  Yep.  Cybersluts.  And cowards.  Maybe I’m wrong but I have a feeling you wouldn’t DARE speak to me that way in real life.  And if I could CYBERSLAP you, I would!!!!!

HOWEVER – with that said – I think it’s completely different when two people are getting to know each other and start cyber flirting and having a little cybersexy time.  That’s normal.  And I think it’s kind of fun to have an iCrush on someone.  In fact I DO have an iCrush on someone :)  BUT!!!!! What’s NOT normal are all the dudes from UTAH fronting to be religiously devout and “ohsoMoral and wonderful” but are REALLY cyberdirty and gross!   Oh SNAP!!!  Yeah – I did  - I went there.  I said it – and I think it’s time more people started taking a stand against cyber douchebags!!  Do you really think that morals don’t translate into the digital world?

There will be no iBirds and iBees busy making iSpring happen on THIS computer with any Cybersluts.  I have cyberstandards and iMorals!!!!    And I’m not going to have a one-night cyber-fling with you just because you think the internet is a guilt-free realm.  It shouldn’t be!!!! and I DO think your computer has a virus and I DON’T want it to infect mine.

I’ve got a super-fire-wall-cyber-chastity-belt.

And just like in REAL LIFE – in my CYBERLIFE, I can’t be PRESSURED into any cyberGROSS with you.

He was handsome,
he could sing,
he la-la-la-la-la-UVed her,
and UNDOUBTEDLY he would whisk her off her feet.

As this little girl grew up her criteria changed a little bit – maybe she needed more than a fairytale.  Maybe she needed something real.

Intelligence
Motivation
Open-mindedness
Wit
(and likes dogs)

But where in the world would she ever meet Mr. Right?  And what if … oh no … what if she FOUND HIM and then discovered she wasn’t HIS Mrs. Right!?!?!

HEARTBREAK
Tears
Sad sigh

OR maybe it was fair to assume that HER Mr. Right would want the same things in HIS Mrs. Right.  So she just needed to make sure she was everything he was looking for.  :)   So she worked at being well-rounded – tried to live a full life – she knew that HER Mr. Right would be busy filling his life the best he could until he found her – and so she did the same.   And as she filled her life, her needs from a potential Mr. Right changed and became more complicated and complex.   She realized love wouldn’t be enough – she needed someone who could offer compatible and complimentary traits and talents.

Seems logical right?

Right.  It makes perfect sense to me.

So could someone please explain to me WHY in the world this is so difficult for all of the Mr. and Mrs. Wrongs to understand!?   I freaking hate dating today.   If I read someone’s profile and they are looking for a girl who is XYZ and I’m NOT XYZ – guess what??  I accept that we’re not compatible!!!   dang it – I always revert back to algebra.  BUT IT’S BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE!!!!  But seriously – I’m a KLM looking for an EFG who is looking for a KLM.    And I’m NOT looking for an ABC who is looking for a KLM – nor am I looking for an XYZ or a DEF or IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER – if you’re not an EFG then it DOESN’T MATTER if you are looking for a KLM.   It takes TWO to tango – and gosh darn it!!  I’m sick of all of the other letters of the alphabet today.   I don’t understand why this is so difficult to understand!!!! :(

Though if I were just blunt it’d be a heck of a lot easier to understand – but I’m trying not to be MEAN so I’m using algebraic type metaphors.

I guess it just all boils down to this: I’m annoyed.  And I know that’s MY problem but since this is my blog :) YAY!!!  I get to vent.  Please feel free to vent in the comments about whatever you like – maybe it’ll be good therapy for us all.

If you can’t tell – I MAY have been a LITTLE crabby that night with my ghetto beach-bum rock-band SUCKING neighbors – and because of a few other things like the fact that MEN DON’T HAVE HEARTS!!!  BUT!!!  GUESS WHAT????  LAST NIGHT I WAS EVEN MORE CRABBY!!!!

MORE!!

Hard to believe – I know.  But it’s true – or at least it WAS true for the whole of a couple hours until a hot knight in damp armor (it was raining outside) rescued me from my rottenness and I got over it – temporarily.

So what could have temporarily made Daisy  MORE crabby than all of those crabby emoticons above??

Oh I don’t know … maybe the fact that North Sydney aka CommitmentPhobe aka Ultimate Douchebag aka HE’S DEAD TO ME decided to call and RIP out my heart – total gory Halloween style – and SMASH IT UP INTO A NICE MUSHY MUSHNESS and FRY IT UP LIKE A HAMBURGER.

We dated a bit, I hated him for a bit, I fell in love with him for a bit and TWO weeks ago he told me he was ready to take a chance on love (this was TWO WEEKS AGO!!)

LAST NIGHT he called to tell me HE HAS GOTTEN BACK TOGETHER WITH HIS EX from two years ago THAT HE’S ALWAYS TOLD ME HE COULDN’T STAND and THEY’RE THINKING OF MOVING IN TOGETHER!

Say WHHHAAATTT???  Two weeks he told me I WAS THE ONLY GIRL IN HIS LIFE.  Right.  Can we say DOUCHEBAG??

My mom says he’s dead to us.  So guess what??  I hope he DOESN’T rest in peace and GUESS WHAT ELSE??

This is his official Daisy Blog Obituary.

CommitmentPhobe was really cool until he turned into a weird-o freak.  Ultimate Douchebag was always a douchebag.  And although I fell in love with North Sydney and his child and although he loved me in his own twisted way too –  he only loved me as his emotional and relationship CRUTCH and it’s time to let him walk all on his own.   Good Riddance!

And if I could stick my tongue out in childish glory – I soooooo would.  But he’s “dead” to me now – and to my mom – so I think it’s time to live it up a little in Sydney before I go home.  Watch out!  I usually take the high road…

but I think it’s time to take a walk on the wild side.

in other news, I took these really cool photos that you may or may not have seen on my other blog 4, 5, 6, ELEVEN Petals.

Ugh.

Anyway – back to the one sided convo – I’m good at these….

North Sydney got a similar email.  And no – I’m not bitter AT ALL!  nope nope nope – I’m in a FABULOUS mood.  hmphf!!

Oh I bet you are just DYING to know.  *wink*  After one week of being “updated” I’ve discovered some VERY interesting things about myself.  AAANNNDDD very interesting things about the way men try and pick-up chics online … I’ve learned which techniques are OVER USED, which seem fresh, which ones are SO DUMB and which ones make me smile.  It’s quite fascinating really!!

So how do I filter?  Which guys make the cut?  How can I possibly make that decision?  It seems so … so … so… MEAN!  And judgmental!!

I mean seriously – what if this dude happens to be perfect but his game is just a little off at the moment?  HAHA!  No.   At the moment, with my time schedule, in order for Mr. Right to actually BE Mr. Right – he’s going to have to be playing up to par.  OR if he’s playing to be a bestie and isn’t interested in anything more – he’s going to have to be funny.  :)  I could use the laughs right now!!  *cheesy smile*

Anyway – please don’t take this blog the wrong way. Part of my therapy/learning is that I am supposed to try and be more discriminating with my time because I so often feel overwhelmed with social engagements or guilty for wanting to be the introvert that I am.  My therapist says it’s OK for me to prefer not to hang out with some people.  And it’s OK if I would prefer to spend more time with A than B.

And so in the world of online dating – this is a GREAT opportunity for me to practice my filtering skills.  For example – today I read an email from a dude whose profile says that he can’t stand femi-nazis or those who are pro-choice.  Ok – I respect he has opinions on the matter.  But “femi-nazis?”  OMGOSH – I’m against Nazis but femi-nazi??  What does that even mean?? Oh so he’s against women who are feminist?  Maybe he’s not secure with his manhood?  I don’t know – I just know that he and I are NOT compatible.

#1 – we’re prolly not compatible if you use inflammatory speech and state that you hate or can’t stand a specific group of people on your profile page.  Unless of course you just can’t stand people who can’t stand other people – cuz I’m with you there!!  I have no tolerance for prejudice.  But if you are intolerant of others’views – not cool.  The world is all shades of grey – if you only see two colors – we’re PROLLY not compatible.

Anyway … funny funny … I wrote back to this guy and flat out told him that I probably hit MOST of his red-flags being that I’m not super conservative, I DO believe in women’s rights and I DON’T have a fascination with guns.  I didn’t NEED to write back – but seriously – I thought it would be better to be blunt that I’m NOT his girl.

Oh heavens.  Heavens heavens heavens.  He wrote back and asked me how I could call myself a Christian.  Hmm … \

Maybe he forgot about the story where Jesus didn’t shun or hate the prostitute??

Right – and HE’S the one who is Christian …

Ok – enough out of me.  :)  I’ll keep you updated on the sweet world of online match-making as time goes on.  HAHAHAHAHA!

Hmm … I think a bullet point list ought to do.  YAY!!!  a LIST!!!  Wahoo!!!

What does this picture say about me??

1. I love ketchup
2. I don’t just LOVE ketchup but I totally <3 HEART <3 it TOO!!!  YAY!!!
3. Engineering CATASTROPHES kinda sorta bug me – kinda sorta in the way that I actually bother to take a picture of the catastrophe to post on my blog.  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WASH MY HANDS IN WARM WATER WHEN MY ONLY OPTIONS ARE BURNING HOT AND ICY COLD???  And no it doesn’t work to try and lightning fast swing back and forth between the two.  And even though the cold does feel pretty ok after SCORCHING your hand on BURNING HOT WATER – it doesn’t make it ok.
4. I attend the University of Sydney where these sinks are found.
5. I’m on pain pills for my back.  What? you couldn’t tell that from the picture?  OOOHHH.  Well now – look again dear friend and you MAY just see that I got ON THE WRONG TRAIN today for the first time EVER because I’m  a little YAYHAPPYDAY-DOTOODOOO space cadet.  I discovered my error when I landed in a town I couldn’t pronounce in an area I couldn’t pronounce next to a guy whose name I SURELY couldn’t pronounce.

And the best part??  The pills don’t even really work!  And thanks to the Dr. I went from a 6 on the Frowny Face scale to a whopping 8.8!!!  He said “Can you move your head like this?” and then proceeded to move my head BEFORE I COULD REACT and then YOWSERS!!  8.8 on the Frowny Scale.  The pill brought me back down to an 8 but I’d say a -0.8 reduction does NOT speak highly of the medicine.

Nighty night!!

oh and p.s. #3 has a new GF and – well – you ALL know what I won’t say right about now.  But what I WILL say is that they look really cute together!!  :)  And it appears those french fries that #3 told me I wasn’t allowed to eat because he was afraid I’d PORK OUT have landed smack dab on his hips while all that extra alkeehall he drinks now that his partner drinks with him has landed squarely (or should I say roundly?) on his belly.  HAHAHA! Karma’s a be-otch!

SNAP! I know I shouldn’t point fingers while I’m eating a bag of M&Ms – but seriously – you try being a space cadet while having EIGHT degrees of frown all up in your neck.

Violent Femmes – Blister in the Sun

omgosh – just KIDDING??  What is that?? it’s a foreign language!!  Let’s try this one instead …

A little bitter at a horoscope??  Yeah – that’s right.  Why??  Because it’s out to get me.  NO FOR REAL!

FIRST it has me use North Sydney as a distraction from CC+4.  Which was actually a good thing because I need to let him go – completely.

BUT THEN I find that I really don’t want North Sydney as a distraction.  He’s my friend and he lives in Australia and GUESS WHAT?? I’m content with things the way they are.  AAANNNDDD the very same day I decided this I read my horoscope which said to be content with him as my friend.  YES CRAZY!!  I READ THAT AFTER I MADE MY DECISION!!!!  It was like the FIRST day I didn’t have to TRY to make my horoscope come true.

So I moved on – and 2 days later would you ever guess that CC+4 – I don’t even want to talk about him.  But I’m listening to the new song he sent me right now – and I’m – I don’t even know what – but I don’t appreciate my horoscope conveniently taking my life in a direction that might let CC+4 back in!!!!!  Out of all the boys in my life – he scares me the most.  No – not because HE is scary – but because liking him puts my heart on the line.  The other boys?  They’re safe.  CC+4??  Not Safe.

Day 14

Ok we’ll stop here – with a few little lines from the song I sent him,

“Hands down, I’m too proud for love.

But with eyes shut, it’s you I’m thinking of.  But how we move from A to B can’t be up to me cuz you don’t know who I was before you…

basically if you see a change in me – I’d be losing – so I just ignore you.

Cuz you’re not mine, not mine.

But maybe in time

I’ll tell you, I’m a little bit, a little bit, a little bit in love with you.

“I guess that I’m a little bit, a little bit, a little bit in love with you.”

Pic of the day – 12 and 13

Oh and HHEEEYYYY – my lil bro is back in the blogosphere.  Life sucks – and tomorrow is the same …

Want to know what I like to call a BIG SUCKS??  When I decide I’m into a dude only to decide I’m going to follow my horoscope for a month only to find out that my horoscope says we should JUST BE FRIENDS!!! Say WHHHAAAATTT???

Yeah – that’s what it said.  The EXACT words??  Beautiful Venus is quite active today in your 5th House of Love and Romance, possibly increasing your desire to spend quality time with someone you love. But there’s no need to add complex layers of attachment to a new or existing relationship, for the real gift of this transit is to bless you with the ability to live joyfully in the here and now.

Lame.  But at the same time??  True.  DANG IT!!!!

I DID spend quality time with North Sydney today.  Want to know what we talked about??  My feelings for CC+4.  Yes – go ahead and shake your fists at me – roll your eyes – whatever you must – but North Sydney kissed me the last time we hung out AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??  He had another mini freak out and had to distance himself again in order to prevent himself from getting TOO close to me.  Whatever.  So since he was in super FRIEND zone he asked me to tell him the story about the cruise.  So I did.

—————-
Now playing: Kid Cudi – Day ‘N’ Nite (Crookers Remix)
via FoxyTunes

And THEN when I was FINALLY BRAVE ENOUGH

I told him that I can’t kiss him anymore if it’s going to make him withdraw from me.  The fact is that I adore him – I care about our friendship and I LOVE spending time with him.  And if he can’t do a relationship right now – ok.  I’d rather be his friend with no kissing than have him be so scared of getting close.

AND THEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE’S SCARED OF GETTING CLOSE TO ME

And he couldn’t answer that one.  So what did I do??  I kissed him goodbye – a good kiss.  ;)  And now he can think about it.  But the fact of it is – my horoscope is true – I should enjoy the time I spend with him and not worry about anything more.

at least for now …

—————-
Now playing: Hilary Duff – Reach Out (Bonus Track)
via FoxyTunes

Day 7/365  Reflections in the glass – a girl should always own a pearl necklace

AAANNNDDD  Reflections in my eyes … click HERE for the original size – you can see the green grass and the blue sky in my eyes

TODAY’s horoscope

You may become less confident as the day wears on, especially if you must show up at a big social event. But if you are able to steal away for a while, then you can emerge from your mini-retreat revitalized and ready to go back out for another round of battles with the status quo. Don’t be afraid of your own power, even if you think it’s wiser to wait for the right time to act.

Annnddd yahoo.com’s said something about taking time for myself and writing a list of “to dos”….

LESS CONFIDENT

I was pretty confident about life this morning but as luck would have it (or more likely as my subconscious would have it because I had already read the above horoscope) I DID lose confidence in myself as the day wore on.  WHAT??  Why would I ever do a thing like that?

Prolly because I realized I’m in some suck classes, the camera adds 10 lbs, I stuttered on TV today and I ran into TWO professors who gave me the pity look because they know about my stupid special consideration and swine flu last semester.

Yeah – that could be why.

Some ME Time

I was kind of excited that my horoscope encouraged a little ME time today but I wasn’t sure how I was going to fit it in – I had a full schedule today!!  After my first class I decided to skip class #2 because it sucks and I’m going to change it for a different one anyway … and I had a choice:

BUS OR WALK??

WALK of course!!  Why?  Because walking is ME time!!  YAY!!!  So I walked from Uni to Central and did some thinking – lots of thinking.  Mostly about the pavement, the cars driving by, the hotties in business suits – but ALSO about Uni, my list of things to do – and ok – that was about all.  Unless you count trying to decide whether or not to text/sms No. Syd and tell him about my day’s adventures as thinking – if you do? well then I thought about that a lot too.

I decided to text him – and got no reply.  And not that I’m getting ready to throw in the towel or anything but seriously – EVERY TIME I DECIDE I LIKE A GUY IT ENDS WITHIN LIKE A WEEK.  So I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if the Love Gods out there put a jinx on this whole thing – aw well.  Time will tell.

No backing out now!!

Even if things don’t work with No. Syd guess what?  I meant what I said about the taking a chance thing – no more negative nancy from me about relationships.  I am ready to put myself on the line – it may take a REALLY LONG time before I find someone that I want to commit to – it may take a REALLY LONG time before I start dating again … but I’m not going to be actively AGAINST it like I was.  In fact! I even replied to Adorable Boy’s (he was the reason I went on the cruise where I met CC+4) email today.  He wants to come visit.  I told him that’d be great.  And you know what will happen if Adorable Boy comes out to visit?  hee hee.  SPARKS WILL FLY!  :)

I HATE TOMORROW’s HOROSCOPE

I just want everyone to know that I already hate tomorrow’s horoscope.  WHY??  Because it is going to require super extra effort on my part to make it come true.  The task??  Find meaning in the mundane things you do.  And after the 2 page long TO DO list I made today of MUNDANE SUCK THINGS TO DO!!! Tomorrow is DEFINITELY going to be a challenge.

But the joy is in the challenge right??  :)