Category Archives: My Australian Story

Umm – Whaaat? Eew kissing is gross!

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HAHA!  Today I was so like “I’ll show him!” and then at the end of the night it was like, “D@@@@@mn – he showed me!”

Look the guy blew my mind with his wit and sarcasm the first night I met him and that same night after hours of conversation he ended the night with a peck – and only a peck – on my lips and walked away.  I was surprised yet happy about it – though BEWILDERED because the dumbdumb guy didn’t ask for my digits.  What?  Yeah he didn’t.

Well time went on and I ran into him again.  He confessed his dumbdumbness regret about the digits and then whisked me off my feet.  Pretty literally.  AANND he took no time at all to turn the peck from the time before into a little badaboom vroom vroom and we totally pashed.  [wait - no reprimands yet please.]

THEN we saw each other a few times and he pulled a DTR on me.  WHAT?  A DTR is a “Define the Relationship” talk where you decide if the badaboom really has enough vroom vroom to go anywhere. I was FURIOUS.  I had prevented and managed to escape any and all forms of DTRs for the past 2 years.  And then what – I go on like 2 or 3 dates with this dude and he’s asking me where it’s going?  Umm – No thank you please.  Go away.

So I told him I didn’t see it going anywhere and he was like, “That’s good because I was worried you may be looking for something and I really want to take this slow” and then he slowly faded from my daily life.  Hmm … surprise surprise right?  Who wouldn’t slowly disappear after what I said?  (let’s NOT mention how I also pushed away CC-450 by telling him I was dating tons of people right now even though I WAS dating significantly less because I really really liked CC-450 even though he APPARENTLY didn’t like me and ok? thanks! xo)

I’ve got issues!  I know!

So blah blah blah – I met up with this “wow” when I got back from holiday and he was so NOT wow.  In fact he was a total DB.  To the EXTREME.  And then FM forbade me from seeing him again.  Until finally TODAY I decided it’s been long enough and I could see him again.  :) But I strictly or not so strictly decided I was going to just be his FRIEND - a NO KISSING friend (we were always JUST friends anyway – whatever.)

Well I was doing well when I saw him.  He went in for the customary kiss on the cheek greeting but wait – hold up – he wasn’t going for my cheek – umm … what do I do?  umm … pause – awkwardness – dart left, dart right – darn darn – why did he just move when I went for his cheek?

UGH!  Look I TRIED to go for his cheek.  I did.  I promise.  But he was NOT going to let that happen.  So I got a smooch.  Which is WHATEVER because I KNOW he does that with his other friends – wait what?  Yeah – he’s like a kiss slut and NO that doesn’t mean he and I are destined to be together.

So then we had a lovely dinner.  We had a lovely chat after dinner and before we knew it we had talked for HOURS.  And then he drove me home (but in the American way which means we got into his car and drove to my house and not in the AUSSIE way which means something very different.)  At my house I said goodbye and went in for a kiss on the cheek again – because I’m strong like that :) and THAT was when he smooched me AGAIN! And THEN I pulled away and he stayed there.  And stayed there.  And stayed there.  And I was like, “Umm …”

Ok just kidding it was more like I went in for the cheek and didn’t feel bad at ALL when he went for the lips and then I pulled away but noticed he stayed so I went back.  hee hee.  I’m bad I know.

BUT GET THIS!  That’s it.  Yeah.  I know!

And then he asked me to come do some work for him on the side next week. Umm … ???      ????

Well alrighty then – that’s fan-flippin-tastic. We’ve gone from friends to friends who pash to friends who don’t talk to friends who smooch to business??  Wait – but that’s not what I had in the cards!!!  OOOH!  I got PLAYED!

Yes-sir-ee-bob I was played.

And I liked it. :)

Goals vs. Direction & SYTYCD Slideshow – YAY!!!

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Having goals and having direction in life are not one-in-the-same.  I am GREAT at making, working toward, and achieving goals.  But direction?  Well THAT my friends is an entirely different matter.  In THAT particular realm of existence, I have none.

I could recite some scholarly psychological reasons for my lack of direction, I could offer some heart-wrenching excuses – but the fact of the matter is – doing such will not get me any closer to finding my life’s compass than I was before.  And this is a very big problem.

I began my Australian journey long before I had ever considered Sydney as a place to live.  It began with a sense of unrest.  An unspoken yet annoyingly nagging feeling that I needed to be somewhere else, doing something else.  I didn’t know where, I didn’t know what, I didn’t know why or how.  I only knew that 1. change was necessary, 2. it needed to be big, and 3. it needed to be international.

Other than this my only main life goals were a post-graduate education and hopefully a job doing something I enjoy.  So that was it.  I tried to envision a more concrete “5 year plan” like WHAT I should major in or WHAT I would like to do as a career but I didn’t even know if I liked sushi, or what was my favorite flavor of gelato!  Not that this mattered – the point was I had no idea what I wanted.  It seems a funny thing happens when the unexpected becomes the goal – suddenly it becomes very difficult to want or plan anything – those wants or plans can’t be “unexpected” if they’re planned can they?

So I strolled along the avenues of my life, searching for open doors to take me from my street into a world unknown.  I figured eventually I’d discover a path and it would just “work out.”  When I found the door to Australia open, I ran inside and locked the door behind me.  No turning back.

INTERMISSION:  I’ve decided to fulfill my promise and post pics from SYTYCD!!!  Be warned – they’re pretty flippin amazing ;) – though the end of the slideshow got a little messed up – but hey – c’est la vie.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xer812o26tk]

Ok – back to it.  There was just one little problem – I still had no idea what I was going to do.  I only knew WHERE I was going to do “it.”  I had reached my “goal” – big, international change with a bonus helping of post-graduate education – but I had no direction.  Peace and Conflict seemed a noble and worthwhile goal – until I discovered that the walls of that hallway were painted with hypocrisy, agendas, and lack of structure.

I backed out of that one and thought “Hmm – Digital Communication sounds nice.  Digital IS the way of the future and communication is my thing.”  But today as I was doing my research I was told DO NOT MAJOR IN ANYTHING COMMUNICATION- or at least not if you have to pay for it.  My source was quite reputable, he recently retired from being the President of a broadcasting company.  His opinion is that my degree would be the worst investment and biggest waste of money ever.  How’s that for reassuring?

MINI BREAK :) Here is a clip from the show … watch for us on the lefthand balcony of the stage.  :) This was my fave performance and you can totally see us!!!  Here is Gianne and BJ.  (skip to like 1 minute in to avoid the boring talking part.)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI78q-9YY4U]

And now I’m left wondering what the use of goals are if you have no direction.  And though of course, indirectly, the whole purpose of this “unexpected” thing was to discover my unexpected but entirely desirable “direction in life” – but I fear I’m as far away from that goal as I ever have been.

I guess the good news is that along the way I’ve learned some pretty amazing things and revived a few old goals – like the whole R word which leads to the L word which leads to the M word (shudder) I didn’t have that in the 5, 10 OR 20 year plan – NOW – well … I am still not planning on it – but I definitely wouldn’t mind considering it.

WHICH BTW – The FM gave me a spreadsheet-ish breakdown of the differences between a DB (like Captain Charisma or U.D.B.) and a nice guy (like the dude from the party on Sunday or potentially CC+4 or Ben but since FM hasn’t met those boys he isn’t willing to call them nice yet.)  SO I will post the differences tomorrow.  :)

As well as my view of boys who use emoticons.

AND TO MAKE THIS THE LONGEST POST IN THE WORLD (not so large exaggeration) here’s a sucky one in which we are in MOST of …  Talia and Emmanuel (skip like before …)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9Jn4qDt9wY]

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My Australian Story Part 3 – Our Dance

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Do you ever feel like you need a week to just catch up on life?  Things have been so crazy hectic for me the past couple weeks – I feel like I’m behind on everything – including just THINKING!  I have been so busy I’ve barely had time to think!!  I keep wondering when things are going to slow down – get back to “normal” – but my life is just go-go-go.  I don’t see it changing either – I start an intensive summer school course in 2 days and then a new semester so yeah … But this is NOT a complaint.  I’m happy to be busy – I’m just a little surprised I guess.  )

So if you missed the background of “My Australian Story” you can click on the following links to catch up.  )

Where did I leave off?  Oh yes.  We locked eyes in the crowd and then he disappeared.

I was totally ok with it.  Say what?  It may surprise you to learn that I didn’t mind losing him in the crowd but I was in VEGAS of all places – not my ideal place to meet men (no matter how much electricity our gaze may have held.)  But then as I was weaving through a different crowd our eyes met again and my resolve to be stubborn weakened.  He was keeping me in sight – and I liked it.  And there was just something about him…

An exasperated Sheryl grabbed my arm and literally pulled me onto the dance floor.  She said we had to dance to give him the chance to find us.  I resisted.  We were in VEGAS!!  What was the point?

A very drunk Australian came over and tried to dance up on us.  His accent was so heavy.  I told Sheryl he was probably faking it.  LOL!  I ignored the Aussie until Sheryl grabbed me again and said, “What is wrong with you?  This guy is with your boy!  They’re from Australia and are just passing through Vegas for the night.”  Oh roll my eyes!  My already not-going-to-happen Vegas fling just turned into impossible.  He’s from another country?  Now there’s REALLY no point!!  (Btw – this was a year ago ok?  D I am not quite as negative now.  lol.)

And then there he was introducing himself to me, “Hi I’m Dave.”  Choke – cough!  Please he did NOT just say his name was Dave!!!  I hid my laughter.  It figures that would be his name.  Want to know how many Daves I’ve dated?  Too many.

We started talking.  Really talking.  His dating resume was impressive – intelligent, hot, fit, world traveler, ambitious etc.  He really WAS too good to be true – except there he was in front of me and it WAS the truth.

When he tried to kiss me 2 hours later I turned my cheek.   He didn’t give up.  I let him kiss me on the eighth attempt.

Oh if I could only describe the butterflies in my stomach and the smile on my face.  I tried to fight it … but there is no escaping your fate once you are on the right path.  We had to meet.  I had to meet him.  That chance encounter – the dance – the kiss … they were the pebbles tossed into the glass lake of my life whose ripples changed everything.

I spent 5 hours with him.  The chemistry was amazing.  The conversation was amazing.  We clicked.  And when we said goodbye he said the one thing I never expected.  “I WILL see you again.”

What?  How?  He was going back to Australia in a couple hours.  But he looked me directly in the eyes and said it again, “I WILL see you again.”  And as I walked away from him I believed it.  I didn’t know how it would happen – I didn’t know how the whole night had even happened.  But looking at him – those eyes – I knew he meant it.

True Story

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OOPS!!! I wrote “Please Stop Knocking” the day it happened (and yes – yikes! – it DID happen) but I wasn’t planning on posting it (which is why it WAS listed as “uncategorized” – I’ve fixed that now – thanks t.k.foster!)  Sure I knew I had scheduled it for the future but I ALSO thought I had published it as a draft (which meant it wouldn’t actually post) … I was a little surprised to have comments on something that wasn’t supposed to publish.  lol.  Ah well – now it’s out in open.

I am ok and my flatmate arrived shortly after I wrote the post but it’s NOT the end of the story and I ended up having to spend the night at someone else’s house later in the week to be safe!  AGH!  Did it all work out though?  I’m not sure!  This happened 2 days before I left for my holiday break.  But I have good faith (fingers crossed) that all will be fine when I go back!

I’ll fill you in with the rest of the details soon but it’s too much to write in one post.  I think I’ll wait to finish this story until it ties in with “My Australian Story” because – well – it DOES tie into it!!!  Oh and if you happened to have read “The Days of My Life in Bondi 2026″ – I’ve decided I AM going to make those public again and finish that story as well.   But since my “soap opera” ALSO ties into “My Australian Story” – I’ll wait until it fits in the time line to incorporate those.  )

Per Tonya’s request however -  if you are interested – here are the original episodes from

The Days of My Life in Bondi 2026

Anyway – Mondays or Tuesdays will be the day each week that I post segments of this saga – I’ve sure enjoyed living this story (yes these stories are true!) and I hope you enjoy reading about them.  )

Please stop knocking.

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Late night.  Sunday evening.  It’s dark outside.  I’m alone in the house.  I have my laptop with me in the living room; I’m working on an essay.   Dancing with the Stars blares in the background.  I think I hear knocking.  I’m not expecting any visitors.  I ignore it.  The noise grows more intense.  Knock-knock-knock-knock.

It can’t be knocking.  My flatmates are all gone for the evening.  None of their friends would drop by unannounced.  This is what cellphones are for right?  I mean if someone needed to reach me they would surely call right?  No one surprise visits unless they are very familiar and anyone I’m very familiar with would call me after their initial knocks went unanswered.

I continue to ignore the noise.  It is definitely knocking.

It’s been over a minute now.  Surely whoever is there will get the hint and go away.

I call my flatmate.  “Umm … someone is knocking at the door but I’m not expecting anyone.  Are you expecting anyone?  Is there anyone you know who would drop by?  Because they just keep knocking at the door and they won’t go away…”

He replies, “Don’t answer the door.  Stay where you are.  Don’t go anywhere.  Whatever you do, don’t answer the door.  I’ll leave now, I can be there in 30 minutes.”

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK.  The knocking grows faster paced and more intense.  I freeze.  Something doesn’t feel right.  The knocking pauses.  I can hear my heart pounding.

It starts again.

My heart drops into my stomach.  Please, please stop knocking.  Please, please go away.  Deep breath.  I had forgotten to breathe.

My flatmate calls, “Is the knocking gone?  Don’t go outside until I get home ok?  I’ll be there soon.”

And now I wait. The knocking has stopped.  Deep breath.

A sudden unexpected memory.  “If you try and ignore me I know where you live,” he said to me. “I don’t have to answer the door,” I replied.  He smiled very calmly, “Yes but there’s always the window.”

What was that?  I must be imagining things.  There it is again.  Oh please… please make time hurry.  I look around.  There is definitely a new noise.  Oh no.  Oh please no.  Please, please, please no.  Please.

Why does it sound like there is someone outside of my window?

I’m too scared to look but I think I have to…