Journal Day 5

Failure? – Maybe not …

I have to give thanks to Phoebe from Wicked to Heaps for sharing her perspective!!  :)  Thank you!!  Is it possible that I’m not such a failure after all? In My self measure spells failure I confessed that because I’ve been a “yes” girl my whole life I felt I lacked a firm identity – thereby making myself a failure.  Phoebe helped me see that although I may not have known my mind completely – I was learning what I didn’t like.  :)  I did play along with “THEM” and played the part – but I suppose I never really conformed did I?  If I had – I would have grown to like the things I was “supposed” to and thereby wouldn’t be wondering what I like and don’t like.  :)   I wouldn’t be fighting to find the voice I feel was suppressed!

And I have to be honest – that makes me smile!!  :)  Maybe I need to have a little more faith in myself.  :)  I never conformed in my heart.  Never.  And looking at the circumstances I pushed through – I feel safe to say I never will.

Oh and quick sidenote – yeah, sure, I may find that as my life evolves I may eventually fall into unexpected molds – molds that I resisted to start!  But at least by then I’ll know it’s because it’s what I want and not because it was something I was told to want.

YAY FOR ME!!!!

More on Self-Discovery – COMFORT ZONES!!

Nessa mentioned comfort zones in her comment.  I wanted to touch on that for a moment.  I completely agree that by testing your comfort zones you test yourself.  You learn about yourself and you have the potential for growth.  She hit that spot on!  AND surprisingly she gave me bait for introspection because I really don’t like using the term comfort zone.  Let me verbalize why. :)

I didn’t mention comfort zones in my post because I struggle with the notion of them.  As innocent as the idea of a comfort zone may be – it wields dangerous power.  Our society is so geared up about “getting out of your comfort zone” that those who don’t are sometimes frowned upon!!  And sadly – this means that meanies out there can use comfort zone lingo as a way to manipulate and pressure others into doing things they don’t want to do.

Do you want to know how many people have used the “comfort zone speech” to try to get me to drink? To smoke?  To do drugs?  To go somewhere that was shady?  Or to put myself in dangerous circumstances?

Too many.

We all have (or at least I sure hope and believe we all should have) inner voices that tell us what we are and are not comfortable with.  When we ignore them too often – we may find we no longer can hear them at all.  :(  I think – and I’m sure you would all agree – it’s OK not to push certain boundaries and it’s definitely OK to push others.

ANYWAY – I’m trying to keep these “journal series” posts on the shorter side so I’ll stop there – but hopefully I’ve given you some food for thought.  :)

Try new things!  Question everything!  And ask yourself why you don’t want to do something.  If you’re making silly excuses – then maybe it’s time to step out of that comfort zone!!  :)  HOWEVER always listen to your inner voice.  And if you’ve lost your inner voice?  Well … that’s a post for another day.