You may or may not want to read this – either way – please don’t hold it against me – I’ll be back to regular programming tomorrow (or the next day.) :) Oh and before we start – I want to give shout outs to Deeleea and Frankly Scarlett. Your friendships mean so much to me!!! Luvs to you!!!! Xx!~Daisy!!!!
The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts
My naive inner cyber child asked my grown-up real life self, “Daisy, where do cyber-babies come from?” And I have to be honest – I was a little stumped. Cyber babies? Wtheck? And why do I have an inner cyber child?
Anyway, it has been my unfortunate experience as of late, to be the target of cyber-pressure. Say WHAT?? Yeah. I know. I was shocked too. WTHECK??
Call me naive but I had no idea how similar cyber-dating was to RL dating. IN FACT – it’s actually worse than real life dating. Why? Because I added the word CYBER to the front of it. And not only does that make it SOUND worse but it also allows for a whole new breed of douchebags. Cyber Douchebags. And guess what? Cyber Douchebags are SUPER douchebags.
So right here and now – I’d just like to throw it out there that I have a Cyber Chastity Belt. And GUESS WHAT?? I don’t lower my standards just because YOU have an iCloak of anonymity which gives you more courage to cyber hit on me. And want to know what else? I kind of think you’re cybersluts! Yep. Cybersluts. And cowards. Maybe I’m wrong but I have a feeling you wouldn’t DARE speak to me that way in real life. And if I could CYBERSLAP you, I would!!!!!
HOWEVER – with that said – I think it’s completely different when two people are getting to know each other and start cyber flirting and having a little cybersexy time. That’s normal. And I think it’s kind of fun to have an iCrush on someone. In fact I DO have an iCrush on someone :) BUT!!!!! What’s NOT normal are all the dudes from UTAH fronting to be religiously devout and “ohsoMoral and wonderful” but are REALLY cyberdirty and gross! Oh SNAP!!! Yeah – I did - I went there. I said it – and I think it’s time more people started taking a stand against cyber douchebags!! Do you really think that morals don’t translate into the digital world?
There will be no iBirds and iBees busy making iSpring happen on THIS computer with any Cybersluts. I have cyberstandards and iMorals!!!! And I’m not going to have a one-night cyber-fling with you just because you think the internet is a guilt-free realm. It shouldn’t be!!!! and I DO think your computer has a virus and I DON’T want it to infect mine.
I’ve got a super-fire-wall-cyber-chastity-belt.
And just like in REAL LIFE – in my CYBERLIFE, I can’t be PRESSURED into any cyberGROSS with you.
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I wonder if ANYONE but me, traveled back in the comments on previous posts of yours, to see if something I wrote, or even implied might have been construed as out-of-line, out-of-place, etc. Because, you see…it is STILL (as I was writing about a year ago!) “all about me”…
Of course, nothing I could find which was distasteful, because I’ve been aware of and working on that for a long time now. So, paranoia aside, I’m OK, you’re OK, EVERYONE is OK, as far as I know. OK? –grin!
You STILL DO have a very attractive (careful now, Steve!) writing style, easy to read, a bit humorous, and, well, that’s enough. And you are excited, and most of your readers are excited FOR you.
This is absolutely great! I sooooo love it! Stupid stupid guys! I swear!
Cyberland is filled with some colorful people, isn’t it? I agree with your post. The Internet breeds bravery behind the cloak of anonymity. *applause* Great post! :)
“iBirds”… “iBees”.. “iMorals”… “cybersluts”… “cyberstandards”…
Right, I’m off to urbandictionary to claim these words as my own!
This post was great. I mean, not great for you to experience it of course, but the way you wrote it was humorous whilst discussing something very unpleasant.
Cyberdouchebags burn in iHell 2.0