Before we begin this post – I just need to do a little shout out:

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTT PETE!!!

Everytime it’s my lil’ brother’s birthday I do a little reflecting – a little reminiscing – I take a leisurely stroll down Memory Lane.

What do I find along this well beaten path??

PROLLY not what you think.

I see:

an imaginary Softball Team who cared nothing for personal hygiene and often stopped in between the running of bases to eat donuts (Big Belly Smellies) giving their rivals (the Teeny Weenies) an advantage.

The words:

Alright STOP collaborate and LISTEN, Ice is back with a brand new invention!

It takes two to make a thing go riiii-ITE

Blame it on the rain – yeah yeah.

Whatever you do – don’t put the blame on you.  Oh no.

CYBORG KEN DOLLS – how many of YOU had Ken Dolls who would launch into space to avoid kissing Barbie??  I did!

And I see a cricket – yes a cricket – who is just a little bit crazy …

Alex was beginning to feel sorry for the cricket who seemed to have lost his mind but before he could offer his condolences the cricket began again, “It was the song wasn’t it?  Just tell me – I can handle it.  My song grated on your ears and made you sick to your stomach and that is why it woke you up.”

“What?” Alex asked. “Your song was fine.  It was just a little scary at first . . .”

“Scary?  I knew it.  Oh I just knew it.  I can’t even play a broken miserable song of desperation without scaring people to death.  It’s awful.   Just awful.  I will take my leave now.  Thank you kind sir for your brutal honesty, don’t feel too guilty when I jump into a pond full of the evil unmentionables to be eaten alive because of this.  Don’t worry.  It wasn’t 100% your fault.  It was more like 110% your fault.  Goodbye.”  Alex felt the cricket leap off his lap.

And maybe a little more crazy…

“Wait!” Alex whispered.  “I didn’t say I hated your song.  I only said it was scary at first.”

“Well why didn’t you say so?” asked the cricket.

Alex wanted to answer that he had tried but the cricket continued,

“Oh I am SO happy, Well – no I am not happy at all actually.  But I am not as miserable as I was a moment before when I thought you were dead.  Because I DID scare you to death didn’t I?  Your heart stopped and you went as pale as the moon.  I suppose I should add murderer to my list of accomplished failures shouldn’t I?”

I also see a very awkward fish taco loving weirdo/half-maniac:

Boris couldn’t believe they were putting him in charge of the Childarama Fun Center.  It was probably a sick spiteful joke.  He hated kids.  He hated them so much.  They were probably giving him the promotion because they knew he would fail and then they could fire him.  Not that it mattered if they fired him.  He hated the job anyway.  What would the girl down the street think of his new promotion?

“Do you have any exciting ideas for the Fun Center?” she would ask him.

“I sure do,” he’d reply.

“Oh really?  Like what?”  she’d say, her eyebrows raised delicately in eager expectation.

Oh forget it.  This was another failed daydream.  Boris had no idea how to grow a fun center unless… brilliant!  “I think my first item of business will be to fire all the current employees and hire robots,” he thought, and then started giggling at the silly idea.  “Then I’ll pretend to have a huge promotion where every kid gets in free and then say “SIKE!” when the kids try to come in.  I’ll teach the robots to say sike.  I can hear their mechanical computerized robot voices now.“  Boris began talking like a Robot.  He loved talking like a robot.  “Sike” he said mechanically, “You. are. not. per-mit-ted. en-try.  Sike. You. suck. and. have. no. fu-ture.”  Haha!  The kids would probably cry.  Boris laughed at his own bizarre idea.  Maybe that would make a good youTube video.  Kids could approach the entrance gates and be met by robots who would tell them they suck and don’t have a future.  Yeah that would be great.

“Why are kids so stupid?” he thought.  “Kids are stupid!” he said unintentionally out loud.

AAANNND I LAUGH – I laugh and laugh

Why?  Because Scott Pete is funny:

Day 19

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