Yesterday my horoscope told me to not let the fear of failure prevent me from taking the next step in a plan.  “Plan” is such an ambiguous word so I decided to interpret it to my advantage.  YAY!!  I mean – seriously – how can I make my horoscope come true without a little creative interpretation??

I thought about what plan I should make ALL DAY and then as I was talking to my friend Okay Corral I realized I DO have a plan and HAVE had one for quite some time.  The plan??

Operation Take a Chance On Love

Remember how I didn’t give many details about how I was totally into CC+4 and then all of the sudden I was back in Australia in the arms of a former flame??  *Big smile*  That’s because I knew I needed to have closure with CC+4 before I came back.  Why?

Because I want to take a chance

I am finally ready.  And I can’t take a chance – or even see how things turn out with someone down here if I’m still holding onto CC+4.  Okay Corral (a friend) said that love isn’t worth it.  He suggested that I am being foolish taking such a huge risk just for the sake of an experience and an opportunity to grow.

While talking to my friend I discovered how important love is in my life

I watched my fingers type back to him that love is worth all of the heartache in the world.  Love is the hope, the building block in our hearts.  When we truly love we keep that bit of that love FOREVER.  It stays with us.  It’s always there.

I know when I love someone when I can FEEL in my heart that they are there.  Mom, Dad, my brothers, my nephew, my nieces, my sister-in-law, Matty Matt – Crysta – North Sydney – the list can go on – but I LOVE these people.  And I can feel each of their imprints on my heart.    That’s right – I can FEEL it.  They hold a spot in my heart.

Loving people puts your heart at greater risk of being hurt – but I wouldn’t trade the experiences I’ve had or the love I feel to spare myself future heartache.  My heart broke into a trillion pieces the day my brother died but I would rather have lived, loved and lost him than to never have known him at all.

And as I was explaining this to Okay Corral I realized I didn’t need insight from someone else today – I just needed someone else to help me hear myself.

I heard what I had to say – and I’m glad.

Love is worth it.  I will probably end up with a broken heart as things progress or don’t progress with North Sydney – but it will be a growing process – a learning experience and I expect that it will ultimately be worth it.

TOMORROW I’m supp0osed to receive criticism that will help me.  Hope it does!!!

Day two -