HAHA!  Today I was so like “I’ll show him!” and then at the end of the night it was like, “D@@@@@mn – he showed me!”

Look the guy blew my mind with his wit and sarcasm the first night I met him and that same night after hours of conversation he ended the night with a peck – and only a peck – on my lips and walked away.  I was surprised yet happy about it – though BEWILDERED because the dumbdumb guy didn’t ask for my digits.  What?  Yeah he didn’t.

Well time went on and I ran into him again.  He confessed his dumbdumbness regret about the digits and then whisked me off my feet.  Pretty literally.  AANND he took no time at all to turn the peck from the time before into a little badaboom vroom vroom and we totally pashed.  [wait - no reprimands yet please.]

THEN we saw each other a few times and he pulled a DTR on me.  WHAT?  A DTR is a “Define the Relationship” talk where you decide if the badaboom really has enough vroom vroom to go anywhere. I was FURIOUS.  I had prevented and managed to escape any and all forms of DTRs for the past 2 years.  And then what – I go on like 2 or 3 dates with this dude and he’s asking me where it’s going?  Umm – No thank you please.  Go away.

So I told him I didn’t see it going anywhere and he was like, “That’s good because I was worried you may be looking for something and I really want to take this slow” and then he slowly faded from my daily life.  Hmm … surprise surprise right?  Who wouldn’t slowly disappear after what I said?  (let’s NOT mention how I also pushed away CC-450 by telling him I was dating tons of people right now even though I WAS dating significantly less because I really really liked CC-450 even though he APPARENTLY didn’t like me and ok? thanks! xo)

I’ve got issues!  I know!

So blah blah blah – I met up with this “wow” when I got back from holiday and he was so NOT wow.  In fact he was a total DB.  To the EXTREME.  And then FM forbade me from seeing him again.  Until finally TODAY I decided it’s been long enough and I could see him again.  But I strictly or not so strictly decided I was going to just be his FRIEND - a NO KISSING friend (we were always JUST friends anyway – whatever.)

Well I was doing well when I saw him.  He went in for the customary kiss on the cheek greeting but wait – hold up – he wasn’t going for my cheek – umm … what do I do?  umm … pause – awkwardness – dart left, dart right – darn darn – why did he just move when I went for his cheek?

UGH!  Look I TRIED to go for his cheek.  I did.  I promise.  But he was NOT going to let that happen.  So I got a smooch.  Which is WHATEVER because I KNOW he does that with his other friends – wait what?  Yeah – he’s like a kiss slut and NO that doesn’t mean he and I are destined to be together.

So then we had a lovely dinner.  We had a lovely chat after dinner and before we knew it we had talked for HOURS.  And then he drove me home (but in the American way which means we got into his car and drove to my house and not in the AUSSIE way which means something very different.)  At my house I said goodbye and went in for a kiss on the cheek again – because I’m strong like that and THAT was when he smooched me AGAIN! And THEN I pulled away and he stayed there.  And stayed there.  And stayed there.  And I was like, “Umm …”

Ok just kidding it was more like I went in for the cheek and didn’t feel bad at ALL when he went for the lips and then I pulled away but noticed he stayed so I went back.  hee hee.  I’m bad I know.

BUT GET THIS!  That’s it.  Yeah.  I know!

And then he asked me to come do some work for him on the side next week. Umm … ???      ????

Well alrighty then – that’s fan-flippin-tastic. We’ve gone from friends to friends who pash to friends who don’t talk to friends who smooch to business??  Wait – but that’s not what I had in the cards!!!  OOOH!  I got PLAYED!

Yes-sir-ee-bob I was played.

And I liked it.