Allow me to elucidate. I did NOT join the popular Utah link-up site which will remain nameless for the purposes of dating. I did it as a – well – kind of as a challenge.  My BFF Matty Matt and I wanted to see how many profile views I would get in one week.  I hit 2nd most viewed profile and called it good.  I didn’t log on again.  Until today.

Why did I do it?  Because I was bored. I had to wait around for the FedEx guy to arrive and he was taking FOREVER!  Plus everyone knows that logging onto the internet is what you should do when you’re bored.  [umm ...]  So I logged on and updated my status. Within minutes of logging on I had ten new messages.  WHAT?  This site has tons of married people on it – it’s a “networking site” – but we all REALLY know that it’s mostly used for dating. So LUCKY me!  And you! Because I’m sharing the sweet messages I got today:

• Why aren’t you married?  (yep that’s all it said.  Hmm … I know why YOU aren’t with THAT pick-up line!)
• I’m an ex-cop now working in TV.  Hope to hear back from you. 
  
• I stubbled across your profile.  Wanted to say hi.  (You stubbled?  I didn’t know that was a word.)
• Dang!!!, I take it your done with utah? too bad I missed you  (no no sweetie – thank GOODNESS I missed you.)
• Hey Red, how is your day?  I lived in Brisbane for 2 years.  btw I’m a Psychologist.  (Btw – I don’t care and don’t EVER call me “red.”)
• What!  you went to the UofU and didn’t say hey to me.  Do you have any super powers? (YES I DO!!!  Omgosh. How did he know?)
• Thanks for inviting me for a swim!  (What?  But I didn’t … umm … WHAT?)
• What are your favorite guilty pleasures?  (Umm hello?  Go away gross-o.  This isn’t a drama class or a romance novel.)

The others (there were about 12 more by the end of the day) were either acceptable or slight variations of the above.  So what type of responses WILL get a reply from me? Ones that make me laugh. But mostly I just look at the profile pic and go from there.  Let’s be real here – it’s an online networking aka dating site – I’m allowed to be superficial. 

Here’s a pic from New Zealand last week.  My t-shirt says “Stop Youth Obesity” and there’s a chubby boy catapulting a skinny boy off a see-saw.  On a scale from 1-angel to 10-devil – my FM says this puts me at 12. But … but … but …