Over the past 2 months I have been struggling with the Uni of Sydney over an application to change my Masters degree. It wasn’t a matter of qualifications – just logistics. And this logistical struggle forced me to miss enrollment – which – in turn – made me face the possibility that I may have to delay my studies for a semester and possibly be deported. You can imagine all of the thoughts going through my head!!! Is this fate? Is it time to go home? Do I want to stay in Sydney? Am I ready for this chapter of my life to be over? Going back home really wouldn’t be THAT bad – I have a life there – my dogs are there – my family is there – my heart is still there. And so I prepared for the “worst” – going back home.
I received the official word on my app today. I may commence a Masters in Digital Communication and Culture on Monday (yep – in one week.) But instead of feeling relieved and thrilled at the prospect, I feel lost and confused. Is this really what I want? Is a Masters in Digital Comm going to get me anywhere? Do I want to live down here for another year? I miss my puppies. 
Remember the tears from the other day when I was homesick? Wow do I hate tears. I’m tough! I’m strong! I don’t cry. Except for those times when it’s 11:45 pm on a Monday night and I feel lost, confused, homesick and there is no one for me to talk to – and then – and only then – a few silent tears escape.
This is the only time of the day when both of my worlds are off limits. No one is awake yet in SLC and everyone has just gone to bed in Sydney.
Life became terribly complicated very quickly … I don’t know what to do. And I’m afraid that Digital Comm is going to end up being like Peace and Conflict – a complete waste of time that gets me no closer to my ultimate career goals. Speaking of which – I don’t even know what those are. I just want a job that is creative, challenging, involves design and/or writing, people skills and bonus if it’s for a non-profit org. Do I really need a Masters for that?
I don’t know. But I DO know a hug or maybe some puppy time would be really nice right now.
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that’s exactly how i was feeling in amsterdam. i feel relieved to be home now, but it’s different for everyone. i hope you figure out what you need.
p.s. i learned something: crying doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human ;)
good luck!
I hate that as people we can’t be in two places at once. If I could have France in my backyard, I would be the happiest person on Earth.
Daisy…nothing is EVER a waste to time but an adventure seeking the reason behind it all!
Gosh don’t I know how you feel. I second guess every last decision I make in life. I don’t like that feeling. I worry too much about the future and how my decisions now will impact the future. I know it is important to think of that, but it is equally important to live in the here and now. If you only have your eyes on the future you forget to enjoy the present. I don’t know the answer. But I know your struggle. I’m still trying to “find myself” and my ultimate career path. I am still struggling. I know you’ve probably heard it a time or ten, but since you are still young and time is on your side in the sense that you don’t have to have ALL the answers now. Worst case scenario, you have another year in Sydney and you walk away with a great experience and a Masters. That’s not so bad, aye?
I do understand your confusion, loneliness and homesickness. I really do. I wish you the best with finding the answers you seek. You’ll get there.
Hey sweet…
Next time you feel lonely at 11.45pm, just come and knock on our door and ill give you a hug! You will find your way…you just have to be (as FM would put it) “patient”…
oh…we should get a puppy!!!
Daisylyn.. walk across the hall for a hug and a chat anytime.
I felt the same when I was at Uni, doing Engineering but I’ve always wanted to be a Physiotherapist. I had no interests in any of my subjects & wasn’t sure if I should continue. During those 7 years, I worked part-time, travelled, played sports, made lots of friends and did a lot of fun things. Now, I’m glad I finished the course and made me what I am now – relaxed, happy & loving life each day.
That’s the key – live today, enjoy today, learn today & grow from the experience. You’ll be a better person and be ready for tomorrow.
I was always in the mindset that one shouldn’t waste time and money on a masters unless they really thought it would better their chances of getting their dream job (or getting paid more in their ordinary job). I just see the expense that comes with it and to me it doesn’t seem worth it unless it will really help.
With that said, I did get my masters in a field that I wanted to work in (and that required me to have a masters legally) and now I don’t use it at all since I’ve moved to Australia.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve learned a lot, met friends, had experiences, etc. that I wouldn’t have had did I not pursue the degree.
Especially in your situation- you will meet so many people and learn so much living in Australia. I wouldn’t say that you should definitely keep going with a degree you’re not sure about- but I’d say don’t give up on the experience that has brought you down under. Live it up!
Emily’s right. She was in your shoes just a few weeks ago. I’m sure you’ll make the best decision for you. Just think about it and weigh out all the pros and cons. That always helps me.
The non-graduate in me feels that if you have will, talent and a little creativity, chances are you will succeed anywhere, Masters or not. If I were you, I would jump in the workforce, figure out what I like and don’t like and then, if what I am seeking really requires that Masters, go back to school.