Something doesn’t feel right today. I have no idea what it is. But something is “off” and I can’t seem to figure out what it is. I think it’s the pressure of so many things happening at once. I have essays to write, packing to do, a novella I’m working on, people to see, and a quasi-R word to end.
How did this happen? How have I ended up in a quasi-R word? I warned him. I told him I wasn’t interested in a relationship. He didn’t think I was serious. He knows there are no logical reasons for me to oppose being in a relationship with him and therefore he has been persistent and patient. It ALMOST worked. He’s a great guy. But he’s missing “it.” Yes – He’s missing the “it” factor, the most essential element in the illustrious R word.
We each have different criteria for “it” and therefore different people have “it” for us than for our friends. But it is this “it” that is the difference between loving someone as a person and being in love with them.
For example, you may look forward to seeing someone without “it”, you may love being in their company, you may even make plans for the future together but the “it” factor is the difference between plans and endless hours of daydreams accompanied by long, happy sighs.
I have the “it” for him. I can see it in his eyes. But it’s not there for me and I don’t know how to tell him.
I guess it could be as simple as “You don’t have “it” for me.” But that doesn’t feel like the right thing to say.
I supposed this would happen. And not in one of those self-fulfilling prophesy kind of ways but in the instinctual hunch kind of way. I should have put an end to it then. But I did kind of hope things could be different. I even tried! But if you don’t have “it” in the beginning I don’t know if you ever will.
I kind of think I never had “it” for MIUB. Funny how the tables turn.
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Chemistry or the “it” factor for all of us is so different. I’ve been going through a similar situation in my own. My resolution is that I will be ready when it is suppose to be. Having fun with someone without having to be in a relationship is all that I can handle at the moment. I truly believe things happen for a reason and even the traumatic. We both been “burned” and it will take awhile to be able to put our hands over the flame to get truly hot. Right now we are just able to be at the fringe to feel the warmth and see it. Thanks for the comment on my last entry. I’m way better now, but earlier this year I did go through a bad spell. I have found I have some healing to do and to that I had to confront some of my “demons”. Lots of hugs and love.
While persistence is a virtue, it is not a good enough reason to stay in a R-word you don’t want to be in. Good luck!
speaking of novellas….I’m at word 6,921 and headed for some serious drama (just taking a breather at the moment)…how’s yours comming along? can you give us a hint at the topic?
Well I think that sounds exciting! A quasi-R word lol…
“It” can’t be forced so honesty is the best policy. If he is a good person, he’ll understand that you’re being honest and glad that the two of you didn’t waste each other’s time.