I don’t hate a lot of things.

WHY?

Because most hating is a waste of energy and I don’t like to waste my energy.  It’s that simple.

But what about the rest of hating?  You know, the hating that isn’t a waste of energy?  Like the hating of inanimate objects.

Well.  I LUV that kind of hating.  For example, I hate my kitchen.  I LUV hating my kitchen and if you sat down and gave it some thought (which I absolutely do NOT recommend you do) you could almost say that I actually love my kitchen.  What?  Bear with me here.

If I didn’t have my kitchen I would be unable to hate it – which means I would be unable to love hating it – and as such I would be unable to feel love for as many things in my life.  And THAT is also simple and simply stupid.

So yeah.  I feel pretty good about this.  The world just wouldn’t be as much fun without the ability to hate inanimate objects.  It’s like Alain De Botton said in “The Consolations of Philosophy,”

We may be powerless to alter certain events, but we remain free to choose our attitude towards them, and it is in our spontaneous acceptance of necessity that we find our distinctive freedom.

I DO have control over my attitude and I’m pretty sure that loving to hate inanimate objects was exactly what he was talking about.  I have found a new freedom by accepting that although I cannot control my kitchen or the oven which I swear is the devil’s spawn – I can appreciate my talent at hating that which I cannot control and choose to LUV the emotion.  LUV makes the world go round and by LOVING the hate which I feel towards the inanimate objects that are out to get me, my hate and I are doing our parts to keep the world spinning.  I can hate AND be happy.