I have a 6th sense for spiders. In fact, I have superhuman peripheral spider radar vision. Yeah – it’s true. And try to say THAT ten times fast. No not “that” ten times – try to say superhuman peripheral spider radar vision ten times fast. Oh yeah – it’s not easy to say.

Which is why this gift is such a burden. Superhuman powers that are a mouthful to say are more special than the ones that aren’t. Let’s just agree that I’m right.

It’s like the time in the middle of the night that I crawled out of bed to go to the bathroom and caught by the reflection of moonlight the spider crawling up my bare thigh. If I wasn’t cursed with this amazing gift I wouldn’t have had to SCREAM, freak-out, and in a spasm to get that blasted thing OFF of me I wouldn’t have bruised my hip on the bathroom counter.

Or today when I noticed on the ceiling above my shower a little BIG HUGE spider that was most assuredly harmless a deadly one that was more scared of me than I was of it wanted to not only BITE me but to burrow under my skin causing a slow and painful death… if I didn’t have this gift I wouldn’t have had to try and balance precariously on the toilet and use a roll of toilet paper to try and kill it. And then when it didn’t die and started crawling along the toilet paper roll toward my SKIN I wouldn’t have dropped the last roll of toilet paper into the running shower, screamed, fallen off the toilet and then panicked to try and find out where the spider landed.

Oh the joys of superhuman powers. And p.s. heebie-jeebies is a word. I attached the definition.