American Girl in Australia

Dear flu, we’ve had a fun run

Dear flu,

As much as I’ve enjoyed getting to know your many complexities, I think it’s time we had a talk.  This whole on again off again thing is killing me.  You come, you go, you passively aggressively come back to spite me, you leave again and then BAM - you’re baaaccckkk!!!!   it’s great right?  haha!  You’re funny.  But the joke is getting old.

Look, we’ve had a fun run.  We watched a million movies, we napped with my dogs all day long, we fell asleep outside under the beautiful canopy of my dad’s trees, we listened to some music, we slept some more, we learned how to throw the ball for Duchess and Chloe while being half asleep (we shared an extra special moment when lying in the grass and bumbly Chloe dropped her slobbery ball on my face and HAHA it rolled off leaving a trail of slobber), AND we even missed CC+4’s softball game making us more mysterious.  Thanks for the good times flu - it’s been real.

And now?  You have to go.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!  It’s Independence Day this weekend I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to play.

Please with sugar on top?  Or how about please with a little more apple juice because that’s all we can stomach?  I’ll even throw in a few extra yummy vitamin Cs if you’ll just go away.  Please?  Pretty please?

Your exhausted host,

Daisy

Don’t write essays when you’re drugged up - just a little bit of advice

When Miss Piggy came to visit last week I should have known that greedy hunk of bacon would overstay her welcome and leave me with the flu.  Hmph!  RUDE!  They say you can’t get the swine flu from eating pigs - and so NEXT TIME maybe I’ll roast good old Piggy next to Kermit, toss in a couple eggs and have myself a regular old green eggs and ham breakfast.  mmmm.  I bet it’d give me LOTS of energy instead of leaving me BED RIDDEN FOR FIVE SOLID DAYS!!!

Yeah so remember all of those parties and plans I had this past weekend?  No?  Oh wait that’s right - I never got to blog about them OR go to them because I had the SWINE FLU!  grr.  extra grrr.

ANYWAY - I had a couple assignments due yesterday and so guess what?  I did them.  yay!  Happy days for Daisy!

EXCEPT

I was totally drugged up on flu medicine when I wrote them.  Want to know why this is a problem?  Because I wrote the following in my paper:

Someone else could read this conversation and think that Marie has a crush on Sharon and is being overly strict with her in order to prevent the lesbian soap opera gossip around the office.

It gets better.  I also wrote this:

Sharon could be upset for a multitude of reasons. If we throw out the lesbian soap opera option and only look at the surface, we see that Sharon’s needs and wants are not being heard.

And the sentence that makes my paper the coolest druggy paper ever???

Depending on the reality of proposed behind closed doors antics, there could be a lot of fiery gender battles interwoven in this conversation.

Let’s repeat this one because it’s THAT GOOD:

Depending on the reality of proposed behind closed doors antics, there could be a lot of fiery gender battles interwoven in this conversation.

It’s ok though - I saved the paper with this fantastic conclusion:

Sharon, who could potentially have a crush on her manager Marie, may also be a man hater. If this is the case she would be especially furious that her partner and boss was putting her career on the back burner for a guy. Or if Sharon suspects there is a relationship between Marie and John, she may believe that she is being sexually harassed. Eitherway, Marie was not an effective team-manager when she allowed John to take control of the situation.

Yep - THAT’s what happens when you write a paper while drugged up on flu medicine.

Take a lesson from my mistakes and don’t try this one at home.